Internet Star updated 5_23

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Internet Star updated 5/23
Date Published: April 4, 2017, 11:05am
Written By: kerry

1. “You need a gimmick”
The video ended, and Geneva felt her life was ending with it. All she wanted to do was play it again right away, but Naomi was waiting. It was Naomi who had shared the video, TimTom’s latest, and she was hanging online, awaiting her friend’s reaction.
Geneva lay back on her pillow and clicked to Skype. “Oh my God! I am so in love with TimTom!”
“I know,” Naomi said. “He’s pretty amazing.”
“He’s everything,” Geneva said. “I think he’s my absolute favorite YouTube star right now.”
Naomi paused. “Well, I’m not sure I’d gothatfar.”
“Naomi! You just said he’s amazing.”
“I know, and he is,” her friend agreed. “But do you like him more than, say, BadassBranford?”
And here we go again, thought Geneva. It was going to be another one of their patented silly conversations, the kind that might go on forever and accomplish nothing but somehow made life with Naomi so much fun. Thursday they had spent over two hours Skyping about comic book movies;God, we’re such total geeks!But it was hilarious…and she’d discovered that for some bizarre reason her friend actually liked the DC universe more than the Marvel one. She’d always known Nay loved Wonder Woman, so in some way she understood, butreally?Overall? No way!X-Men, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy? And don’t evenstartabout Deadpool!What did DC have? Aquaman?Yeesh.
“Well, Branford’sreallyfunny,” Geneva allowed.
“Just ‘funny’?” Naomi said. “His editing alone may be the best on the net.”
“Sure, he’s good at some tech stuff, but he’s just not as talented as TimTom. Plus TimTom’swaycuter. I could watch him forever. ”
Naomi paused thoughtfully, assessing her friend’s position. “Well, I’ll certainly give you the cute thing. But you really think he’s themosttalented?”
“Of course! Don’t you?”
Naomi was not about to lose a second consecutive argument. Besides, she had an agenda and she needed to find a way to swing the conversation to where she wanted it to go. There was areasonshe’d sent that video, and it wasn’t just her friend’s love of TimTom.
“OK,” she said, “devil’s advocate here: he sings really well and all, and he’s undeniably good looking, but why hide behind the split personality gimmick?”
Geneva was taken aback. She’d never heard her friend diss TimTom before. “Hey, I thought you liked him!”
“Oh, I do, I do. I’m just surprised that he’s yourabsolute fav, that’s all. What about AcaManics? They’re completely awesome in their singing, and their videos are brilliant and creative and funny too. Andyouturned me onto them.”
AcaManics were actually one of Geneva’s favorite music groups; she’d even seen them live on tour a few months back when they came to town as an opening for Kelly Clarkson, who was pretty great herself. And Kenny, the super gay member of the group whose voice was a higher soprano than Callie, their one female singer, was so cuddly she wanted to take him home.
“OK,” she admitted, “maybe I’m over-reacting. AcaManics are probably better.”
“Wow, did I just win? That was way too easy. But you weren’t over-reacting, Girl,” replied Naomi. “You were reacting with hormones instead of synapses.”
They both laughed, and they both knew she was right. TimTom was not only hot as a YouTube artist with his quirky videos that featured his tenor Tim half dueting and comically fighting with his baritone Tom half; as both of them acknowledged, he was undeniably “hot” as a teen sensation as well.
“Yeah, well,” Geneva said, “you wouldn’t kick him out of bed either.”
“Hey:gayhere!”
“Oh. Right. Sorry,” Geneva said, chastising herself for the momentary lapse. But Naomi just laughed.
“Kidding! I may be gay but I’m not blind. I just acknowledged his good looks, right? Of course I’d hold onto him, if for no other reason than to call you up and get you to my house as quickly as possible!”
After they had calmed down from that one, Geneva asked, “Well who isyourfavorite?”
“My favorite Youtuber?”
“No, your favorite porn star. What have we been talking about?”
“Oh," Naomi replied. "Well, my favorite porn star is Peter McLongdick.”
“Cute." Geneva raised her eyebrow. "Anyway, I’d thinkyourfavorite would be his sister…”
“True, but guys’ names are more fun. Brenda Bigboob just doesn’t have, you know, the same zazz. As for my favorite Youtuber…” She hesitated. She thought she was out of the conversation when she won the argument, butof courseGenny would turn it around. It was a favorite tactic on both sides, and one of the things that made their long conversations so much fun.Agendas will need to wait, she thought. Choosing a favorite from all of the Youtubers she watched regularly, though, washard. “I guess it would be a tie between AndyReid and Kalana.”
AndyReid was a very popular artist who made videos featuring pop music that he had rearranged into multi-part a capella harmonies, sung by multiple boxed versions of himself. Some of the “Andys” beatboxed; some of them sang the various choral parts. Sometimes he costumed his various “selves” and made the entire video into a sort of choral dramatic presentation of the song’s story. Always, however, the singing itself, in Andy’s pitch perfect voice, carried the video and made it work.
Kalana’s work made use of multiple versions of herself as well, but the structure changed from one video to the next. She was a mimic, capable of making herself sound like practically any female artist and quite a few male ones. She had two main kinds of videos: the first involved her, in elaborate costumes and sets, singing a popular song split among 20 or so “artists,” shifting smoothly from one set and costume to the next as a new artist picked up a new set of lines; the second had her using the boxed screen structure that AndyReid used and having many cartoon, fictional, or real personalities in the boxes doing essentially the same thing.
Geneva replied, “Well it’s easy to see why you can’t choose between them. Both great, and so similar. I kind of like Kalana better.”
Aha! An opening!Naomi thought, and she pounced on it.
“Of course you do,” she said.
Geneva was puzzled. “What does that mean?”
“Just that you’re probably attracted to all of the Disney stuff and the other cartoon characters she does.”
Something about that sounded like an insult to Geneva. “So? Why does it matter that I like them? I mean I like TimTom too, and not in a childlike way.”
Naomi shook her head. “I didn’t mean anything. I think it’s cute how much you still like to hang onto your childhood. Marla Houston couldn’t wait to throw hers out the window.”
“Marla Houston? That slut? She’s slept with half the junior class. Why bring her up?”
“Because she’s probably the only one in the class who’s as small as you, except Jori, and Jori’s a dwarf.”
This time Genevadidfeel insulted. “So because I’m smaller than other girls I should, what, assert my adulthood by dressing like Marla Fucking Houston?”
Naomi knew it had been risky to mention Marla, but it was necessary. “Hey, hey, I’m sorry. I really wasn’t trying to be insulting, but I can’t seem to say right things tonight. You know I love you, right? I mean you’re my BFF. I would never want to hurt you.”
Geneva paused a moment and then said, quietly, “I know.”
“So, OK, then. All I was saying is that you still openly like that stuff. A lot of us do. Hell, Miley Cyrus made a video in a onesie sucking on a pacifier holding a teddy bear. Cuteness is in. I just meant that it also probably shows a bit of personal strength when someone who is cute and quite a bit smaller than her classmates does it.”
“I don’t suck on pacifiers.”
“You know what I mean.”
It was time to slow down and see where the conversation went naturally, Naomi decided.
Geneva, for her part, was through being angry at her friend. She shifted her position on her bed so she was more comfortable, and then said, “Well being short and “cute,” as you say, isn’t exactly helping me in life, you know.”
Naomi looked confused. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve told you this before. Boys don’t really take me seriously, as much as I want them to.”
“Right,” Naomi said. “You said they always seem to treat you like a little sister or something.”
“At least it feels that way. Maybe I’m just imagining it because of my size and general lack of breasts. But I know what I’m not imagining, and that’s the parts in the musicals: I’m the best singer in the class—you know I won that competition—and a good dancer, but I never get anything other than chorus parts. They can’t see me as a lead.”
“Yeah, that sucks.”
“It does. I wish there was something I could do about it.”
Annnnd…Naomi thought,we come to the moment we’ve all been waiting for.She let herself appear pensive for a minute and then said, “What about your own YouTube videos? How are they doing?”
“About as well as any girl-with-guitar videos do. Which is to say I get some likes and some good comments, but I’m no Kalana.”
“Yeah. You need a gimmick."
This time it was Geneva who was confused. “Didn’t you just say gimmicks are stupid?”
"They are, but they work. People like Kalana make millions, you know.”
Geneva stopped. “Wait. Millions?”
“Hell, yeah. You didn’t know that? YouTube is a freaking printing press for money. You know that idiot girl who yelled at the audience of that talk show last month?”
“The one you can’t even decipher because her accent is so awful?”
“Yeah, that one," Naomi said. "I read she’s monetized that one stupid line she said to the tune of a million dollars.”
Geneva was shocked. “Are you kidding me? That total moron who can hardly speak a complete sentence? A millionaire?”
Naomi shrugged. “That’s YouTube.”
“Wow,” Geneva said. “Well that just sucks." She was quiet for a moment: life was just unfair. “Anyway” she said after a bit. "I need to go. I still have homework, and Mrs Stiles doesn’t like late papers.”
“OK. Take care.”
“See you tomorrow. And thanks for sharing the TimTom.”
“No prob. Love you!”
“Love you too! Bye!”
The two girls logged off their Skype session. Naomi was certain she had piqued her friend’s interest in her videos once more. Her channel had been dormant for several months, with nothing new added, and all Naomi ever heard from Genny were these complaints about being overlooked. And it was true: the girl had so much talent, and she was terrifically underappreciated at the school. It was shameful. Naomi had been her friend since elementary school. Back then, wheneveryonewas her size, Geneva had indeed received the majority of the leads in anything the school put on. (Naomi smiled remembering the production ofAnniethey both were in, the one during which they had first met. Naomi had been one of the anonymous orphans; Genny had, of course, been Annie.) But then middle school came and everyoneelsestarted to grow, and soon the parts were handed out to other girls, girls who had taken second and third leads before, girls who were objectively not as strong as Geneva, but wholooked the partbetter.
And for years now Naomi, as Genny’s best friend, had listened to her growing bitterness about her lot in the Bensington High School drama world. Ever since the Freshman Play, Geneva Whitmore had been relegated to the background, where both of them knew she didn’t belong. And when she won that blind voice competition last spring, they both saw it as almost a kind of “Fuck You” to the teachers and directors and fellow actors who had not believed in Genny. And they both had thought things would change. Of course, they didn’t: this year’s casts came and went, and Genny once again was where she’d always been.
Naomi, however, believed she had finally come up with a way to get her friend’s talent out to the masses and let her voice be heard. And if she could make them both some money in the process, all the better. If she played her cards right, Genny would see it as a good idea as well, even though there were a few things about the idea that she might have to work through first.
Geneva rolled off of her bed and headed to her desk with her laptop. She’d tried doing her homework lying down many times; it didn’t work. Lying down was internet play time; sitting up made it work time. She opened her online English folder to find the assignment.Not too hard; that shouldn’t take long, she thought, and started typing. But for once the bed/desk separation wasn’t helping her. The conversation with Naomi kept replaying in her mind, and she found herself staring for long intervals at the blank screen instead of writing about Oedipus.
Damn it.
She couldn’t fight it, and she didn’t feel like lying down again, so she let herself violate the sacred desk space and clicked YouTube open once again. She looked up the moron girl (which, amazingly, she found when she typed in “moron girl on Dr. Bill show”) and watched the video of her interview. She was there with someone else—her mother?—and Dr. Bill was asking her something about her life.Why was this girl even on the show in the first place?She mumbled something unintelligible in that absurd accent of hers, and someone in the audience responded to it. And then she turned to them and said the line that kept getting replayed, the one that sounded like “Meshew ousside n saydat agin.”
She’s getting a million dollars for that?Life wasreallyunfair.
Geneva clicked to her own home page and called up one of her videos. 397 likes: not bad, certainly, but it wasn’t going to make her a star. Probably all people who knew her at school.
She let herself scroll down the comments section.Predictable. Mostly her friends saying how much they loved it. A few trolls sexualizing her; she skipped those. A bunch from people she didn’t seem to know who just enjoyed the video and wanted to say so; that was nice. But there was another group that interested her. It wasn’t a large group, certainly, only maybe six or seven comments scattered throughout the thread, but they were there, and when she double-checked she found they were all from different accounts. They weren’t trolls; in fact, they were complimentary about her playing and singing. What stuck out in these posts was that each of them seemed to assume that she was a whole lot younger than her 17 years.
“You are absolutely amazing for someone so young,” one read. “You’re going to be a star when you grow up.”
Another, in a similar vein, said, “Geneva is such a pretty name, and you have such a pretty voice. I hope to hear more from you when you get to high school.”
The others were like these. And when she checked her other videos she found, on each one, similar comments. Some were from the same users, but others were from new ones. In all cases the commenters loved her but thought she was a little girl with a huge talent. It wasn’t the first time people had made that mistake, but it got her thinking.
“You need a gimmick,” Naomi said.Well, that would definitely be a gimmick, but she had no idea if it would work, or if she even had the guts to try it.


Re: Internet Star
2. Are you out of your mind?
“You want towhat?” Naomi said, staring at her friend in astonishment, her lower jaw refusing to reconnect the halves of her mouth into a single unit.
They were sitting at Starbucks sipping Lattes. Naomi had been a bit surprised when Geneva had asked to go to this one, asno onecame to this Starbucks, but now she understood. The fact that no one came here was precisely why they were here. This was not a conversation Genny wanted overheard.
“Genny, are you out of your mind?”
Her friend just smiled and took another sip. “I don’t think so. Maybe? But consider it:Yousaid I needed to find a gimmick if I want to make it big on YouTube. And you also commented about my size and ‘cuteness.’”
Naomi shook her head. That was not where she though Genny would take this. “Yeah, but I didn’t mean—”
“Wait,” Geneva said. “Look at this.” She opened her laptop and called up one of her videos, already scrolled to a section of the comments where two of the strange remarks were visible.
“Read these two comments, Nay. There are lots more just like them.”
Naomi took a moment to read the remarks and then looked up at her friend, who was intentionally sitting with the most adorable, innocent expression she could muster. All Naomi could do was burst out laughing.
“Is it that ridiculous?” Geneva asked.
Still laughing, Naomi nodded. “It’s pretty ridiculous, Genny. I mean these comments are one thing, and your size is one thing, but you’re talking about putting yourself on YouTube pretending to be achild.”
“Why not? Some of these guys already think I am. And pretending to be a child who can sing like me and dance or play guitar in videos might be just the way to get known.”
“You can’t do that!” Naomi said firmly. “It’s…it’s fraud. Or if it’s not, it should be.”
They sat quietly for a couple of minutes sipping their drinks while Geneva thought about what Naomi had said.Could it really be fraud just to pretend to be a kid?Putting it that way made the answer pretty clear.
“Shit,” she said. “I thought I had an answer.”
“That’s not the answer,” said Naomi. This was getting very uncomfortable.
Geneva nodded. “You’re right.” Then she added, “damn it.”
Again they were silent, with Geneva’s disappointment clouding the table. It was pretty obvious that she had wanted this conversation to take a different path. Now she found herself, as always, on the outside looking in, and the only sound was the occasional clinking of cups against the table.
As for Naomi, the whole thing had been a shocker. Genny wanting to pretend to be a little girl? She wondered if she had somehow triggered this and if she needed to take charge of the situation and defuse it. After a few minutes, she broke the silence. “Don’t you think it would have been pretty embarrassing?
Geneva nodded. “I guess so. I mean I wasn’t really thinking about that, just the possibility of becoming famous and making money from my singing. You know how frustrated I’ve been about not getting any recognition.”
“You won that Junior Class Honors Award.”
“Yeah. And it helped feed my ego. I guess it will look good on a college app, but I need something to make me feel better about my talents right now, not in college. I guess I could try out for things outside of school, but how little would I lookthen?I’d be compared to the real world, not the high school world. I’d beluckyif I could get the little kid roles.”
Naomi reached across the table and took her friend’s hand. “I knew you were feeling bad, but I had no clue it was like this. I never would have started that conversation last night if I knew it would lead to—”
Geneva shook her off. “This isn’t about that. Well, not all of it. You just lit a fire under some things that had been simmering on their own for a long time. And when you told me how much money people make on YouTube…”
“You’re really fixating on that.”
“Hell, I don’t know whyeveryoneisn’t fixating on that.”
Naomi nodded. “OK, you may have a point. But to humiliate yourself? You’d be totally recognizable, and people like Lara Miranda would have a fucking field day.”
“Who cares what she says?” asked Geneva. “I don’t live my life worrying about Lara Miranda.”
“I thought you did. Didn’t you just complain last night about not getting leads? Well she’s the one getting a lot of them.”
“So you want to go on YouTube dressed like a middle schooler everyone still knows is you, and you think this is going to help somehow?”
“Maybe,” she said. Then, reconsidering, “I guess not. Anyway, I don’t think I’d have felt humiliated at all.”
Naomi was silent for a moment, trying to figure out her best path. “What do you mean? You’re 17 and you’d have been appearing as like a pre-teen.”
Geneva shrugged. “So?”
“So how can that not embarrass you?”
“Naomi, look at me. I mean seriously. We joke about it all the time, but imagine my life. How many times a week do you think I hear comments about my size? How many times do you think I hear someone mistake me for someone a lot younger? Do you think those YouTube comments were the very first time? I didn’texpectthem, but they didn’t exactlyshockme either. I get this shit all the time.”
This was a side of Genny she had never seen anything of before. And she thought she knew her friend well. But then she had parts ofherlife Genny had never seen as well; she guessed everyone did. “I had no idea.”
“That’s because there’s nothing I can do about it, like there’s nothing you can do about being gay. It’s just a fact about my life, so I deal. What good would it do to complain? I long ago got over the embarrassment of being seen occasionally as a pre-teen. I just roll with it. Hell, I’ve been known to play along sometimes.”
Naomi studied her friend. “What do you mean?”
“Well, for a simple example, Mom and I went to a restaurant last weekend, and the hostess offered me a lollipop and a children’s menu. Mom was about to say something, but I was feeling silly, and I happen to like lollipops, so I took them and we went to our table.”
“You ordered off the children’s menu?”
“What can I say? I like chicken nuggets.”
“How did your mom react?”
“Oh she just laughed. It wasn’t the first time and it surely won’t be the last.”
Genny plays little girl and her mom lets her, Naomi thought. It seemed so…unlikely. But it didn’t change the facts at hand right now.
“How does it make you feel to do that?” she asked.
“Actually, when I’m with my Mom and I do it, it’s a fun game. I like it when the waitresses think I’m like in sixth or seventh grade or something. It’s like, for a while, years of responsibility are lifted.”
“How about when people make a mistake elsewhere?”
She took another long sip of her latte, and it occurred to Naomi that it was an odd thing to be doing while talking about pretending to be a little girl. “Whatever. No harm, no foul.”
“But you understand why you can’t do this thing, right?”
Geneva looked down. “Yeah,” she said. “No, I get it. I hadn’t thought of it before, but I can’t make money pretending to be something I’m not.”
Geneva stared at her drink, and Naomi’s mind rushed around to places she had never really contemplated before. This was uncharted territory, but something told her it was worth a try.
“Genny?”
Her friend looked up.
“What if I said I might have an idea?”
Geneva’s eyes opened wide, and her face followed them, her expression an invitation. “I’d say tell me what it is already!”
“You might think it’s weird.”
“I just suggested pretending to be a pre-teen. I think weird is in my wheelhouse.”
“OK then,” Naomi said. “But please remember that I’m offering this as a professional suggestion only, not as something I think about you personally.”
“O…K,” Geneva said slowly. “That’s a bit foreboding.”
“No, it’s nothing bad. I think. Oh hell, I’ll just spit it out: I’m thinking of a variation of what you were suggesting earlier.”
“But we can’t do that; it’s fraud.”
Naomi shook her head. “It’s only fraud if you’re pretending to be something you’re not. I’m not going to suggest that. In this suggestion, no one knows you’re Geneva—you use some other stage name—but you are still 17 years old.”
“But?”
“But you are dressed and perform as a little girl.”
This time it was Geneva shaking her head. “Don’t you think I thought about that? I mean those comments thought I was young with no outfits at all! But I just didn’t thinkmedressed in middle school-ish clothing was much of a gimmick.”
“I totally agree,” Naomi said.
Geneva was completely confused. “But I thought you said—”
Naomi gently put her finger to her mouth and whispered, “Shhh.” Geneva was quiet, stunned a bit by such a command from her friend, who went on, “I said you would be openly 17. I didnotsay you’d be dressed as a middle schooler.”
“OK, now I amhopelesslylost,” Geneva said. “First you say you’re offering a variation of my plan, but now you’re not?”
“I am. You would not be dressed as a middle schooler. You’d be dressed alotyounger.”
Geneva was silent. After a long moment, she asked, “Howyoung?”
Naomi shrugged. “Negotiable. I was thinking maybe three or four?”
“WHAT?” Geneva said so loudly it was almost a yell, actually standing up in her shock. But Naomi had expected that reaction, so she remained perfectly calm.
“Take it easy, Genny. Sit back down and don’t make a scene. We’re justtalkinghere, remember?”
With several deep breaths, Geneva sat back down. Then, in a harsh whisper, she asked her friend, “Are you nuts? Three or four?”
“Let me explain, OK?” Naomi kept her voice calm and her eyes locked on her friend’s eyes as she spoke. “I told you: I’m not in any way saying that you look or act that young in real life. That would be idiotic and way incorrect.”
“Damn right.”
“So…what I am suggesting is that by playing a character who is little more than a baby, you would be creating an obvious parody that no one could reasonably expect to be real and therefore can’t be fraudulent. And as a gimmick, a baby singer is pretty high concept, I think.”
Naomi watched as Geneva turned that over in her mind.
“Doesn’t it make sense, Genny?” she asked.
Geneva nodded, reluctantly. “I wish to hell it didn’t,” she said, and resumed drinking her latte.


Re: Internet Star 4/6
I’ve been waiting for someone to write a story around this concept for a while now. So far I’ve only seen one other story do it and this looks like it will be far better than that one. I’m not quite sucked in yet but I love your other stories enough that I’m still excited for this one.


Re: Internet Star 4/6
Good premise and lead-in so far. You did a good job of introducing Geneva’s character gradually, without just using a paragraph of expository description. That said, I think it’s a mistake to have Geneva and Naomi talk aboutotherYoutubers in the opening, even if it adds verisimilitude. Instead, have them talking about Geneva’s channel and lack of success, which leads directly into the story.
You lose readers with every sentence before a hint about main conflict pokes its nose out. Here that’s ‘Geneva considers an unconventional approach to upping her pageviews’. I’ll admit I had to plow through the first four pages before it got really interesting.


Re: Internet Star 4/6

Good premise and lead-in so far. You did a good job of introducing Geneva’s character gradually, without just using a paragraph of expository description. That said, I think it’s a mistake to have Geneva and Naomi talk aboutotherYoutubers in the opening, even if it adds verisimilitude. Instead, have them talking about Geneva’s channel and lack of success, which leads directly into the story.
You lose readers with every sentence before a hint about main conflict pokes its nose out. Here that’s ‘Geneva considers an unconventional approach to upping her pageviews’. I’ll admit I had to plow through the first four pages before it got really interesting.

Thanks again for the feedback. I’m not sure that I concur this time, though. I do see what you are saying, but the start of the story here is designed to accomplish two specific goals: introduce the girls and the dynamic between them, and show us examples of the gimmickry at work on YouTube, from which we can draw later on when Geneva herself joins the “Girl with a Gimmick” crowd. It isn’t mere verisimilitude that I sought there—though that is a nice benefit—but actual background that seeds the plotline. Diving straight into Geneva’s channel without any other discussion would be, to me, a mistake: the initial action that starts a conflict usually doesn’t come in the first couple of paragraphs; it comes once the reader has properly entered the story. Of course there are plenty of examples either way, but that’s how I felt this one would work best.


Re: Internet Star 4/6
Rereading (or at least re-skimming), I agree that the discussion lays the groundwork for the real conflict. If the main conflict comes too soon, there is a danger that the reader won’t be engaged enough to fully grok it before it goes by.
I suspect it has a good deal to do with what I do and don’t know (and where my own interests lie) going into the story, but I did find the conversation about youtubers to drag on a little long for me. That said, the writing is good enough that I didn’t really have trouble getting through it.


Re: Internet Star 4/6

Rereading (or at least re-skimming), I agree that the discussion lays the groundwork for the real conflict. If the main conflict comes too soon, there is a danger that the reader won’t be engaged enough to fully grok it before it goes by.
I suspect it has a good deal to do with what I do and don’t know (and where my own interests lie) going into the story, but I did find the conversation about youtubers to drag on a little long for me. That said, the writing is good enough that I didn’t really have trouble getting through it.

But that’s the point, isn’t it?What you know about YouTubers. If you don’t bring that specific knowledge to the reading, then the entire premise of the story falls apart. As the writer, I feel I am walking a fine line here between the need to fill in a cultural gap for those who might be unaware and to have a little fun for those who are regulars. That’s why I parodied actual YouTubers.


Re: Internet Star 4/6
In this case, what I know and am interested in has me more struggling to understand and care at all, rather than bored with rehashing what I already know. It’s a fine line indeed, and there will always be those who end up on either end, however you do it.


Re: Internet Star 4/6
OK. I understand. Donbiki’s suggestion was to dive into the conflict. You already agreed with me that this would not be a good idea. What wouldyou​ suggest?


Re: Internet Star 4/13
BThis can’t be good[/B]
Geneva was lost in thought.A baby singer. That was so far over the edge that she found she could hardly imagine it, but Naomi was certainly right that it was about as high concept as you could get. There were other girls on YouTube, girls in their twenties, whose personas were pristine, doll-like creatures who could be any age from 13 to 16; she’d seen them. This would just be a comparable age drop, right? But it was such a strange idea.
“I don’t know, Naomi,” she said. “I mean it makes sense in the abstract, as aconcept, but I don’t know if I could do it.”
“Oh come on,” said Naomi. “You said it felt good to pretend to be little; well, this is just pretending to be really little.”
Geneva looked carefully at her friend. There was something about Naomi all of a sudden that suggested that she was not revealing absolutely everything about this new plan, and Geneva wanted to know why.
“Whatexactlyare you picturing, Naomi?”
Naomi smiled. “OK. Don’t react.”
“Thiscan’t be good.”
“That was a reaction. Now listen: You would wear considerable makeup so we can hide who you are. Your hair would be in pigtails, with maybe a bow. Your clothing would be a really adorable toddler-style dress, ankle socks, and Mary Janes. And you’d be very clearly wearing a diaper along with rhumba panties.”
Geneva startled at that, and Naomi held up her hand. “Of course what you wear would vary from video to video, but that’s the basic vein.”
Geneva counted to ten. “Youarenuts.”
“No, I’m being perfectly serious. You could talk to your public in a babyish lisp, maybe, but you’d sing in your totally normal, absolutely glorious 17-year-old voice. And you’d do some kind of signature sign-off at the end that takes it back to your persona. I think you could be a megahit.”
Her eyes closed, Geneva tried to picture it, but every time she got to the costume the internal video went all fuzzy. “Where could you evenfindclothing like that? I may be small, but I don’t fit into Toddler sizes.”
This was the part that Naomi had dreaded, but she was asking her friend to accept a huge risk, so she felt it was only fair for her to accept one as well.OK, she thought, here goes.
“I have some,” she said.
Geneva was beginning to think she was lost in a really bonkers dream.Whatdid her best friend just say?
“I said I have some,” Naomi repeated.
“Yeah,” said Geneva. “That’s what I thought you said. I don’t understand.”
Naomi went on. “I’m really trusting you with this, Genny. No one, and I mean no one, knows about this. You are absolutely the first.”
“What are you talking about?”
“There are some people who are like you, who enjoy shedding responsibility by pretending to be younger, but we take it a lot further." She hesitated before going on, as if unsure what her next words should be. “To feel the full release of stress,” she continued, “we need to try to remind ourselves what it was like to be as young as… toddlers… or even babies.”
She waited for some reaction from her friend, but Geneva just stood there as if she had not understood, so Naomi added, "As a group, we’re called Teen Babies.”
Geneva blankly repeated the phrase. “Teen babies.”
“Please don’t judge me, Genny. I’mprayingyou don’t judge me. It’s just a part of me that I can’t change, like being gay.”
“But you don’t share it.”
“I do…but not in real life.”
Geneva paused to absorb that. “You mean online.”
Naomi nodded. “Yes, There are several communities where I hang out." She found herself suddenly racing as if her life depended on getting an explanation out. "I actually enjoy playing both toddler and caregiver. That’s the one who takes care of the baby; I think that’s why I love babysitting so much, though in all honesty part of me is also jealous of the kids.”
Again the table was silent for an uncomfortably long time, but finally Geneva spoke. “So let me see if I understand all of this, OK?”
Naomi drew a deep breath. “Shoot,” she said.
“You say that you are a Teen Baby.”
“Yes.”
“And that means that sometimes you like to pretend to be as young as a toddler or baby?”
Naomi smiled. Still speaking far too swiftly, she said, “Well, in my case, my ‘Little,’ as we call our younger personas, is three. So I pretend I’m three.”
“But others are different?”
“Sure. Some kids like being infants. Some just regress to first or second grade. It varies.”
Geneva’s expression shifted again and Naomi saw her looking once again into the distance, at nothing in particular. “What is it??
“Oh,” she replied. “Nothing. Just that…infants?I mean they can’tdoanything.”
Naomi laughed. “I think that’s the point. They need someone to doeverythingfor them." She realized she was speaking more normally now. Geneva’s questioning must have loosened the knots in her mind. "I don’t really think it’s possible to do that successfully, or at least fully, without a caregiver.”
“Which you also like to be.”
“Right. But I’ve never had the guts to meet someone from this world in person, so it’s a sort of theoretical desire.”
“Of course. But you actuallydothe rest?”
“Yes. Privately. In my room. And occasionally when no one is home I use the whole house.”
Geneva looked at Naomi more carefully than she ever had before. Maybe she had never reallyseenher friend before. Surely Naomi was opening herself up in a completely new way that, she thought, might forever alter their relationship. Could she think of her friend the same way now that she knew this?
“How?” she asked.
Naomi paused.Honesty.“I…dress in my baby clothes and diapers, suck on a pacifier, drink from a bottle. Stuff like that.”
It was exactly what Geneva had been thinking.How can we be the same now? How is it even possible?
“Do you…use…the diapers?”
Naomi wasn’t sure she wanted to answer that, butin for a penny, in for a pound. “Sometimes,” she said. “Just wetting, though. I don’t like messing them.”
“No,” Geneva said. “No, that would be, um, messy.”
“Oh, God,” Naomi suddenly said. “You think it’s too weird.”
“No, no!” Geneva protested. “Weird, yes. I’m trying to process. Let me process.”
I’ve gone too far, Naomi thought. She’d always been terrified of anyone finding out for precisely this reason. If anyone could handle it, Genny would be the one, though, and she’d been so sure she’d read the situation and the signs right today.What if I was wrong? I could lose her forever.She didn’t have any fear that Genny would ever tell anyone; she wasn’t that kind of person. But her world without her best friend in it would be so…empty. Why had she even started that stupid YouTube conversation? Damn that TimTom! It was allhisfault.
“Nay?”
“Yeah?”
“It really is pretty weird, isn’t it?”
Naomi smiled tentatively. “I guess it is. But is ittooweird?”
There was a brief silence, and then Geneva smiled. And then she laughed quietly.
“What?” Naomi asked nervously.
“It’s just that I seem to be learning a whole lot in the last couple of days about things I never knew existed. It’s as if I’ve lived 17 years with blinders on.”
“Maybe you have,” Naomi said, breathing more calmly and realizing only then that she’d been breathing oddly before, some combination of holding her breath and hyperventilation that only she could accomplish.
“Well, if I’m supposed to take them off now, I’ll need to learn a lot more.”
Naomi looked cautiously at her friend. “So you don’t think I’m strange?”
“Of courseI think you’re strange. But we’ve already covered the fact that you think I’m kind of strange as well. You seem to think I’m the kind of strange who can join your little party and wear your baby clothes to sing on YouTube. And I think I just might be strange enough to give it a shot. So I guess we’re a couple of odd ducks. Come on, Naomi. Let’s go to your house so you can show me all of this stuff. This odd duck feels like doing some swimming.”


Re: Internet Star 4/13
I’m loving this story so far


Re: Internet Star 4/13
Interesting twist. I like the direction of this story so far. As for quibbles, Naomi’s explanation of ‘teen baby’ is a bit encyclopedic for the scene. I’d expect her to be more awkward, halting, and evasive — like explaining to Mom that her car is impounded, with uncomfortable details spilling out the more questions she asks.
As for the opening. I had a longer post written, but autosave lost it somehow… Here’s the gist of what it said:
To me, the opening reads like a random conversation between teenagers, with no questions, no ‘hook’ to pull me along. Why do I care about which teen likes which Youtuber? What’s the point? At this point, I have no emotional investment in Geneva, so why do I care? Now, in a writer’s group, this is never a problem. Everyone has a soft obligation to read through the opening. But most people who stumble on a story won’t read it unless there’s an immediate pull.
Most stories — and by that I mean 95%~ of published stories — used a pattern I call “The Mystery Breadcrumb Trail” to lead readers into a story. Basically, the writer opens with a line whose meaning is unclear. Then they write some characterization, some scene-setting. Then they start clarifying the opening line, but at the same time dropanotherunclear reference. The reader keeps reading to get a clearer picture of what’s going on, and before they know it, they’re invested in the story.
Essentially, the Mystery Breadcrumb Trail ‘tricks’ the reader into reading at least the next line, at least the next paragraph; while stealthfully developing its characters and main conflict. Here isa very clear example of the Mystery Breadcrumb Trail.
I’ll note that “The video ended, and Geneva felt her life was ending” is a goodfirstbreadcrumb, but it doesn’t lead to more breadcrumbs.


Re: Internet Star 4/13
I’m just gonna say “keep going.”
If you really feel like you want to do some things over, I have an idea about the opening. But I think it’d be a bit rude to just post what I’ve got in my head. It’s not something that would change much anyway, just a thought I had.
For current feedback, it did stumble a little, but the third entry certainly helped.
Also, I’m totally on board with Naomi’s gushing. It’s clear she was desperately trying to explain as fast as she could, hoping that Geneva wouldn’t turn on her before she could get everything out. I can definitely see that happening.


Re: Internet Star 4/13
Donbiki and Vearynope, I added some detail to the section in which Naomi explains “Teen Babies.” I think it will play better now.
Vearynope, maybe PM me about your idea for the opening?


Re: Internet Star Ch 1 updated 4/14
This is getting much more interesting with the latest update.
You might find Vearynope’s suggestions more useful than anything I could come up with, since I think I’m a bit of an outlier here.


Re: Internet Star Ch 1 updated 4/14
The TB explanation flows more naturally now. I think your red additions on p1 are good too, hinting at a hidden ‘agenda’ the reader has to wait to discover. They feel a little grafted on, but don’t beat your head against the wall. Personally, I’m usually over-invested in my openings, and can’t make effective revisions for at least a few months.


Re: Internet Star Ch 1 updated 4/14
This is the first time I’ve actually read an active literary work (meaning manga and subbed anime don’t count) in over a year. I’ll admit, I like this one. I read through the whole thing before you went back and revised stuff, so I’ll have to reread the new stuff to see how it’s changed… but overall, it was a positive experience and reading it was time well spent.
I’ll hold off on giving actual critique until I’ve read the revisions, since anything I come up with now could be outdated. Not sure how much use I could be right at this moment…
By the way, one more thing that I may have said before… Kerry, your profile pic hits the perfect sweet spot between adorable and awesome. I love it so much that it compelled me to spend half an hour this morning on Google images looking at other pictures of kittens wearing headphones. It almost makes me feel like my username-based profile pic is inadequate…


Re: Internet Star Ch 1 updated 4/14
Thanks, XenonVoid! I’m glad you’re enjoying it (and I’m glad you like my kitty too).


Re: Internet Star Ch 1 updated 4/14
Kerry, just a heads up, but you might want to rethink the color on your note in the first post. It’s almost impossible to read on the dark themes.


color-issues.jpg840×145 41.6 KB


Re: Internet Star Ch 1 updated 4/14

Renko Yanagi;68788:
Kerry, just a heads up, but you might want to rethink the color on your note in the first post. It’s almost impossible to read on the dark themes.
Changed.


Re: Internet Star updated 4/25
4. Your parents have no clue?
“Where on earth do you even get this stuff? Geneva asked.
Naomi’s bed was piled with pretty much all of her Teen Baby paraphernalia: diapers of various types from plain white to patterned with little circuses and teddy bears and other childish designs; six or seven oversized toddler dresses in various colors and styles, each of which was clearly designed to reach just below the waist and allow the diaper to show pretty obviously; several multicolored onesies; some diaper covers from simple covered plastic panties to elaborate ruffled ones; eight different footie pajamas in different designs; some miscellaneous smaller things like socks and tights; three pacifiers; bottles, sippy cups, and a Lion King toddler plate and bowl along with soft-handle baby silverware; and a whole bunch of random toys and stuffies.
“I’ve bought it all online over the years,” her friend replied. “It’s kind of expensive, but when you get things one item at a time, especially when stuff is on sale, you can accumulate quite a stash.”
Geneva just stared. “Clearly. And your parents have no clue?”
“As far as I know. And I want to keep it that way.”
“Hey,” Geneva said, “Ihave no intention of telling them.”
“How do you keep this much stuff a secret? Doesn’t your mom ever look in your closet?”
Naomi smiled. “She knows better. I’ve always been a very trustworth kid and I long ago earned the right to some personal privacy. She violated it once and I pretty intentionally threw a fit. I mean I made amuchbigger deal out of it than it really was, just to make a point. And she ended up agreeing that she had been wrong.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. That was two years ago and I don’t think she’s been in my room since, other than just to leave a pile of laundry on the bed. As long as I show them that they can trust me, they don’t bother me.”
Geneva couldn’t even imagine it. Not that her mom and dad were nosy parents, but she certainly did not enjoy that kind of freedom at home. Actually, her home life these days was much the same as it had always been, and it had never even occurred to her to question that: she got home from school and her mother was waiting with cookies or something. Then they talked a bit about her day and she went up to do her homework, since she wasn’t allowed to do other things until it was done. Once it was done, it was often dinner time, and after dinner she might shower. After that, or if she didn’t, she’d either go online or watch TV or read. Of course she only went to sites or watched shows her parents approved of, but that was just natural. And on weekends, like now, she was allowed to go out with her friends.
As to her closet, well, her mom did all the laundry and put it away, so hiding something in her closet would bereallyhard. In fact, now that she thought about it, she couldn’t even think of a single place she could be sure that her mom wouldn’t find something if she hid it. There were a lot of places that wereunlikely, but no place that wascertain.
Sometimes she did think it was unfair that her younger brother Allen was allowed more flexibility in his life than she was.Hewas allowed to see friends on school days, for example, which she didn’t care all that much about because…homework…but then there was the fact that she knew he went on sites she’d been forbidden to go to. She was pretty sure he had permission, too, which wassurelyunfair. But she wasn’tabsolutelysure about the permission, and she didn’t want to get him in trouble if she was wrong, so she never mentioned it to her parents.
What really bothered her, though, was that Allen, at fifteen and a half, was allowed to get a learner’s permit, something that she, now seventeen, had not yet been allowed to do.Thatshedidcomplain about, but her father had taken her aside and tried to calm her tears.
“Sweetheart, I know it seems unfair. It probablyis. But your brother is over a foot taller than you. There is no issue with him driving but there is one with you. You know it’s true: you can hardly reach the pedals and see over the dash at the same time.”
“But, Dad,” she pleaded, “they make pedal extenders and stuff.”
“It’s just safer if you let us drive you, Honey,” he said. “Please, trust me. I just don’t want to see you hurt.” And he enveloped her in his arms and held her as she cried more until her tears were dried up.
Of course he prevailed. It was just the way things were. It was just one more thing that being her size made harder. But she knew her parents loved her and wanted what was best and would protect her.
“I literally can’t imagine that much freedom,” she said to Naomi.
Her friend smiled. “What do you mean? Your parents trust you.”
“I guess so,” Geneva said, “but it’s different. If a package came for me, my mom wouldn’t hesitate to open it for me.”
Naomi was shocked. “What? That’sillegal!They can’t do that.”
“They would. If I ever got packages, I mean.”
Naomi calmed down. “Oh. So this is a hypothetical package. You don’t reallyknowthey’d open it; you’re just projecting.”
Geneva shook her head. “No, they’d definitely open it. Not out of nosiness or anything. Just to know what to do with it.”
“And you’re fine with that?”
“I guess. It doesn’t hurt me any.”
Naomi shrugged. “Sometimes I don’t get you at all.”
“What?”
“Never mind. We have shit to do here. What do you think about all of this?
Geneva surveyed the pile once again. “I think you’re really committed to this lifestyle.”
Her friend rolled her eyes. “No shit, Sherlock. But about my idea?”
She thought about it for a moment. “You’re a good eight inches taller than me. They wouldn’t even fit right.”
“Not an issue,” said Naomi. “I’m good with a needle. I can make temporary hems. Do you want to try something on?”
Truthfully, that was just about thelastthing Geneva wanted to do. But itwaswhy they had come, and it washeridea to come, so she nodded.
“Pick a dress,” Naomi said.
Geneva’s eyes found themselves drawn to a pink dress patterned with flowers and festooned with lace.
“Good choice,” Naomi said, picking it up. “Let’s see, you’ll need a pair of pink ankle socks to match and a pair of Mary Janes—I think we’re the same size there; my feet are small—and a diaper and panties—”
“Whoa!” Geneva said. “I’m not wearing a diaper.” Her friend looked at her with a confused expression. “I mean, I’m not…ready…for that.”
“It’s just the two of us, Genny. Safest situation in the world. And we need to see how much I need to take up the hem. The only way to do that is with a diaper on.”
It made sense.Damn it. Geneva had thought she could spare herself that, at least, but it made sense. “OK, then. Whatever.”
Naomi smiled. “It’ll all be fine. You’ll see.”
“I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t agreed to this,” said Geneva, pulling off her clothing. In no time at all she was down to panties and a bra; the AA bra was hardly even needed, but she wore it because it would hurt too much to accept that fact. If she were really completely honest, she could get away with a training bra, but there wasno way.
“OK,” Naomi said. “Lie down.”
“What?”
“Lie down.”
“Where and why?”
“Whereis right there on the floor, andwhyis so I can put your diaper on.”
Geneva looked to the floor where her friend was pointing and realized that Naomi had set out a large white changing pad there. “Um, Nay? I can probably do this myself, don’t you think?”
“Actually, no,” Naomi said. “It isn’t really intuitive to diaper yourself; it takes a bit of practice. And all of my diapers are premiums, so they aren’t cheap. I don’t want to waste any because you screwed up the taping.”
Again, something that made sense. It seemed to Geneva that the more humiliating the experience she had to go through here, the morelogicalNaomi was making it sound. She nodded and laid herself down onto the changing pad.
“Good girl,” said Naomi.
“Cute.”
“OK, now, I need you to lift your legs for me.”
Geneva did as she was instructed, and she felt her friend slipping her panties off. “Isthatabsolutely necessary?”
There was a brief pause. “I suppose not,” said Naomi. “But you might as well get the full experience.”
Her legs still in the air, she felt Naomi suddenly grab her ankles to lift them higher and a diaper slide underneath her raised bottom. Then she was lowered back down.
“OK, now just lie there, but spread your legs apart a little.”
Again she did as she was told, and was surprised to find Naomi showering her nether region with a spray of cool white talcum powder.
“Where did that come from?” she asked.
“My diaper bag,” Naomi said. “It’s right here.” She pointed to a small backpack that was leaning against the bed. “Now I’m going to finish up, OK?
“Fine by me.”
In a practiced, swift motion, Naomi raised the diaper between her friend’s legs and secured all four tapes expertly. “All done,” she said. “You can stand up now.”
“What about the plastic panties?” Geneva said sarcastically.
“I decided it would be more fun this time just to let you see the diaper. Besides, I used a really adorable one.”
Geneva stood and caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her first thought was that she looked ridiculous standing there in a bra and an oversized diaper. But as she looked closer she noticed that Naomi was right: the diaper was undeniably cute. It had teddy bears and bunnies and balloons and butterflies and flowers and all sorts of colorful characters on it. She was entranced.
“It’s called a Bellissimo,” Naomi said. “It’s one of my favorites.”
Not wanting to sound too enthusiastic, Geneva just said, “It is pretty cute.”
Naomi smiled. “Let’s get the rest of this on you then.”
It didn’t take long for Geneva to find herself wearing the pink dress, the ankle socks, and the shoes. Naomi even sat her down and brushed her hair, parting it into very childish pigtails and adding a bow. Then she stood her up and let her see the full effect in the mirror. Even with the too-long dress, it was impressive: Geneva did not see herself at all; she saw an overgrown toddler. If the dress were shorter and the diaper visible, then…
This could actually work.
She had another thought. “Nay?”
“Yeah?”
“You know those girls who dress like anime characters?”
“Yeah.”
“What do you think about making my face and hair anime-style? I mean a neon wig and huge eyes, the whole bit?”
Her friend smiled. “I’m sure there are tutorials for the makeup. And lighting helps. And our regular baby becomes an anime baby just like that! Cos play as well as AB play! And that woulddefinitelyhide your identity. This just keeps getting better!”
“I’m going to need a name.”
“Little Genny?”
“Too close to my real name.”
“Princess Asaka?”
“Where did that come from?”
“I don’t know. Just made it up. Sounded vaguely Japanese.”
Geneva rolled her eyes. “I’m not trying to be Japanese. I’m trying to be me, but littler. How about just something like Baby G?”
“Baby G,” Naomi repeated. “Yeah. That could work. It’s tight.”
Geneva smiled.
Naomi looked at her. “What?”
“I think Baby G needs to write some new songs.”


Re: Internet Star updated 5/1
5. Is that how everything works?
The light above Geneva’s bed was one that had always struck her as wonderfully symbolic. Instead of some generic bowl covering light bulbs, she had a fixture her parents told her they’d found at an art fair when she was just a baby. It was one of those things that looked a whole lot more complicated than it really was: the artist had used steel and crystals to create the effect of stars reflecting off of mirrors. When the light was on full, it was a beautiful ceiling lamp delivering bright light; its real power, though, came when she dimmed it and simply stared at it shimmering above her. She had always looked at the fixture and seen her future: she wanted to be a star.
As she looked at it tonight, though, she saw it a bit differently, though certainly still symbolically. She had learned, somewhere along the line, that the entire glorious apparatus was actually lit by two completely normal light bulbs that the artist had hidden within it. The light came from something you could find anywhere; what it was encased in was what was unusual and amazing.
Is that how everything works?she thought. Did everything really need a gimmick to succeed? The more time she spent thinking about the Baby G concept—which for every possible reason was almost all of her time at present—the more her thoughts boiled down to two main conclusions: 1) it could definitely work; and 2) she was not at all sure she had the guts to do it.
Naomi’s secret had thrown her for a loop. It was one thing to have a bit of fun pretending to be a little girl because your size dictated that you were often mistaken for one, but why on earth would someone who was tall enough to be a normal teen ever want to do something like that? And the diaper thing was way beyond comprehension. Of course she had looked it up online. Typing “teen baby” into google really hadn’t helped much; it had mostly yielded information about teen pregnancies. But the couple of relevant sites she found also mentioned “adult babies,” and that, she had discovered, was a gold mine. She’d already spent over two hours reading and looking at photos and videos. It was a weird world. Old people her parents’ age dressed as babies were sort of creepy to look at. But she hadn’t thought thatshe’dlooked creepy at all at Nay’s house. Nay was right: she’d looked kind of…adorable.
As she continued to watch videos, she came across some of kids not much older than she was. They talked about why they enjoyed “being a baby” and showed themselves sitting in cribs, wearing diapers and baby clothes, playing with toys. The whole thing seemed to be, as Naomi said, about escaping ugly realities for awhile.Nothing wrong withthat, anyway,she thought. But she wondered how they could put these videos online: they were so clearly recognizable!Don’t they care that all of their friends will know? What about employers?
She clicked to another of her own videos. 512 likes. How could she be a star if she could only muster such a tiny following?Following.She checked her page’s followers total. 224.Shit.Almost a whole year now and only 224 followers. It was beyond depressing.
Staring blankly at the screen, her eyes happened to fall on the Suggested Videos column on the right. Of course there were a few of her own at the top, but then, as usual, the suggestions veered off. And right there, in the middle of the list, was a name that stunned her: Lara Miranda.She has her own videos?That initial thought was instantly replaced with a realization:Of course she does. The bitch.With trepidation, Geneva slid her finger across the trackpad until the cursor landed on her enemy’s video and clicked.
The video was called “Fireworks” and was a cover of the song by Katie Perry. Lara, all 5’9”, model-slim, flowing brunette hair, I-look-28-even-though-I’m-only-18 bit of her, had obviously spent some money on it: the thing was very well produced. It featured her on location in Chicago’s Millennium Park, in summer, and used the Chicago 4th of July celebration to strong effect. Lara’s mature looks and her sultry voice made the song into something quite different and rather sexier than Katie Perry’s version. Geneva wasn’t really sure that was the appropriate interpretive read for that song, but apparently it didn’t matter: the video had 12,414 likes.
12,414.
Immediately, she skyped Naomi. As soon as she answered, her friend could see that she was agitated.
“What’s wrong?
Geneva looked at her, upset. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about Lara’s video?”
“Which one?” Naomi replied.
“She has—of courseshe has more than one. Fuck.”
Naomi suddenly understood what this was about. “You didn’t know she hadanyvideos.”
Geneva shook her head. “I just found “Fireworks.”
“That’s an older one,” Naomi said. “She made it a couple of summers ago.”
“Great,” Geneva said. “She looked more grown up two years ago than I do today. Or probably ever will.”
“Oh my God, Genny. What’s going on in your head?”
Geneva didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure herself. Finally, she answered, “She has over 12,000 likes.”
“So?
“What do you mean, ‘So?’ She has 12,000 likes. I have 300. That’s a big deal!”
Naomi shook her head as if trying to get something through to a young child. “No, Genny. It’s not.”
Geneva was shouting now. “Why the hell not?”
“Because,” Naomi said, her voice maintaining its outward calm, “ in the grand scheme of things, 12,000 doesn’t mean much. Yes, 300 sucks, and 12,000 is clearly a lot better, but it isn’t anywhere near YouTube stardom. That’s in the millions. She doesn’t have it, Genny, and she isn’t going to get it.”
For a moment, Geneva was silent. “How do you know?”
Naomi smiled. “Because she doesn’t think she needs to take risks, and you’re practically required to take risks to succeed on YouTube. Maybe she could be a Broadway star, I don’t know. But not on YouTube.”
“You make it sound as if it’s somehow a better thing to make a career out of dressing up as a baby.”
“Better? I don’t know if I can judge that. But I know what I can judge.”
Geneva studied her friend. “What?”
“Fame and fortune. And both come much easier on YouTube than on Broadway, whether that’s fair or not.”
“Shit,” said Geneva. “If that’s true it’sterriblyunfair.”
“I never said it wasn’t. But it’s true nonetheless. Broadway doesn’t make millionaires. YouTube does. And it makes thema lot.”
“But what about fame? Broadway makes stars; Lin-Manuel Miranda, Audra McDonald, Phillipa Soo—”
Naomi cut her off. “Yes, it does. And for every one of them there are ten thousand others who labor in the background unknown. And for every one of them there are a hundred thousand others who never evenmakea show, even off off off Broadway. On YouTube, the first ratio may well be the same, but as for the second? Everyone can post, so everyone technically has the chance to become a star.”
“But—”
“But nothing. For a handful of Stars with a capital S, Broadway really is the Great White Way. But YouTube’s star-making power isn’t limited by the number of available theatres of parts in plays or Big Names available. It’s about being timely and having some luck on your side.”
Geneva considered this. “But…if Baby G became a star, Geneva Whitmore still would be unknown.”
Naomi smiled. “If Baby G becomes a star, Geneva Whitmore can write her own ticket.”
Geneva paused. “Why are you pushing this? Does it have to do with your—”
“No. Not at all. I was extremely hesitant even to suggest any of this because I knew I’d have to tell you about that and then…well…that would be a natural conclusion to draw. I admit it’s convenient as hell that I have the costuming, but that’s about it as far as connections go. I’d never ever want to force my thing on a friend.”
Geneva nodded. “OK. I was just… A part of me was wondering… I mean I told you about how I enjoyed pretending I was younger and stuff, and…”
Naomi finished the thought. “…you thought I thought I might have found a kindred spirit?”
Geneva nodded again.
“It crossed my mind,” Naomi admitted. “But most of all, when you told me that it scared me.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew who I was, and I had to wonder if somehow in some unconscious way I had rubbed off on you.”
Geneva laughed. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Maybe. But it was my first thought.”
“Well, it’s ridiculous.”
“OK, OK. It’s ridiculous,” Naomi agreed.
“Yes, it is,” said Geneva.
“Totally,” said Naomi.
“Without a doubt,” said Geneva.
“Absolutely,” said Naomi.
“Indubitably,” said Geneva, and they both started laughing.
“God,” Geneva said, “we are both really silly people.”
“No shit. Have you written anything yet?”
“For English?”
“Nooooo,” Naomi, said, dragging out the word. “Songs.”
“Oh. Right. Those.”
“Have you?”
“Not as such.”
“Which means,” Naomi interpreted, “you haven’t started.”
Geneva smiled. “Something like that.”
“Well I’ll let you get to it then.”
“I haven’t the foggiest notion of what to write about.”
“Whatever’s on your mind, I guess,” Naomi said. “See you later.”
After her friend had signed off, Geneva sat for a long time, staring at the screen. Finally, she crossed the room and picked up her guitar. Strumming a couple of chords, she found the combination she was hearing in her head and fingered a little lead-in.
The girl spent a lifetime in dance and ballet
She picked up piano and voice on the way
Her dream was to fly on the stages someday
And she knew it was what she would do
The goal never strayed very far from her heart
She worked day and night at perfecting her art
Then off to New York, she could finally start
What she’d be when she finally was free
But the city is unforgiving
And some dreams aren’t for the living
When the world leaves you beaten and broken and scared
While some moron is now a YouTube millionaire
And there’s nothing for you anymore anywhere
And you stand on the bridge and look down at the brine
And the water looks fine
Geneva stopped and examined the notepad she’d been scribbling on.Damn, this thing took a dark turn. She really liked the musical progressions, but she wasn’t sure about the lyrics. Re-reading them, she decided that the two stanzas were really pretty sappy and probably stupid, but there was something about the chorus that was working for her, and that was a bit frightening. She’d never written anything that dark before, didn’t even know she had it in her. Generally, she wrote love songs or songs about making choices or things like that, things that she and every other teen girl could relate to. This one was coming from some new place she had never accessed before.
Teen angst?she wondered.Could be.She’d never really suffered from that affliction; maybe this was what it looked like. She’d need to be careful in fleshing the song out that it doesn’t go there; teen angst was too easily dismissable as a source of real world pain, and the pain her lyrics were finding didn’t want to be dismissed. She played the last part again:
And you stand on the bridge and look down at the brine
And the water looks fine.
It made her shiver. And then, suddenly, she saw the whole spectacle: Baby G, in full regalia, singing this dark, depressive song in Geneva’s beautiful, trained mezzo soprano voice. The picture was so absurd it made her laugh out loud.At least my voice isn’t one of those operatic ones; that would be even more bizarre.Her voice teachers through the years had often pushed her in that direction, but Geneva, with her diminutive frame, had no desire to cultivate a diva’s vocal patterns. Very few Broadway actresses sang in that style, Audra McDonald being a notable exception. She could do it, of course: you couldn’t learn and progress as a singer without those lessons. But it wasn’t for her. Neither her tastes nor her body suggested operatic soprano or that such parts lay in her future. She was more pop and ingenue.
And, apparently, dark and twisted emo girl.
In baby clothes.
Geneva started laughing again at that idea, and this time she laughed so hard that she couldn’t stop until she buried her face in a pillow.OK, Lara,she thought. Do your thing. It’s not going totouchmine. In the end, we’ll see what high school leads are worth.


Re: Internet Star updated 5/1
I enjoyed Geneva reflecting on the differences between Naomi’s parents and hers, and herself and her brother. I’m looking forward to how Baby G’s debut goes. My expectation is that she’ll be met with initial success, but that fame will somehow backfire on her personal life.
The darkness of the lyrics seems to contradict Geneva’s personality, but maybe I’m missing something.
This section is mostly dialogue, which is fine. Sometimes it feels a bit monotonous to have N and G pingponging back on each other. I feel the dialogue could use more paragraphs for detail, backstory, and reflection at natural turning points in the conversation. For example:
“What do you mean, ‘So?’ She has 12,000 likes. I have 300. That’s a big deal!”
Geneva would kill for 12,000 likes. She couldn’t understand how Naomi could brush such a figure off. That was more people than there were in her high school! Once when she was just publishing her first videos… (etc)


Re: Internet Star updated 5/23
I think this is my favorite chapter yet…
6. “We’ll co-produce it”
Some days, Geneva was especially glad her mom was an Amazon Prime member, and today was one of them. When she saw the thick envelope with her name on it, she knew immediately what it was; she scooped it up and whisked it into her room before anyone else even knew it was there. Slicing the plastic (why are these envelopes always so hard to open?), she withdrew her prize: a bright teal-colored wig, so shiny it actually shimmered. In her mirror, she quickly put her hair up and pulled it on.
“Perfect!” she said aloud. And it was, as she knew it would be: the unnatural color, the pigtailed style,everything. She’d been so fortunate to come across it, and now two days later here it was. She studied her reflection: even with just the wig it was already so different. She was sure that, with make-up added, she’d be virtually unrecognizable.
Well,prettysure, anyway.
The first song, she thought, had turned out very well despite the fact that she couldn’t use her normal writing group.No,Naomi had told her, if you use them, then they’ll know the Baby G song is yours.Which was right, of course; she just hadn’t thought about it. So Nay had become her “writing group” for the time being, which was weird but she thought it had worked out pretty well even though Nay was more science girl than writing girl. If she leaned toward the Humanities at all, it would be history. Still, her advice was good and anyway she had a lot riding on this thing too: they had decided to put up half the money each to make the video.
We’ll co-produce it,Naomi said.
Is it really going to be so expensive?Geneva asked.
Well, it won’t cost a million dollars, but we need a professional recording, and we need a video shoot and editing and other stuff. It does cost money.
Geneva replied,Can’t we use school facilities and some of our friends?
Sure,said Naomi,if you want to erode that wall between Baby G and Geneva Whitmore, but I thought you really didn’t want to do that.
Silence.
Right,said Geneva.We’ll co-produce it.
The trick to the Baby G gimmick, they had decided, was going to be the set. Naomi had all sorts of adult sized baby clothing thanks to her weird kink, but what they needed was someplace for their creation tobewhile she was singing. They couldn’t very easily do these shoots out in public, for obvious reasons. Nor could they do things involving extras. No, this thing was going to live or die on Baby G alone: the videos were going to be her, on her own, singing her songs. But that left a huge problem: how to maintain interest from one video to the next.
Fortunately for Geneva and Naomi, the solution found them.
Geneva was working on her English homework when her phone buzzed. A message from Naomi.
NaynayOMG guess what I’ve found!
GennyWToo tired to guess
NaynayOh come on!
GennyWFine. Um…new boots
NaynayNO! About the vids!
GennyWOh. You should at least give a category
NaynayWhat have we been talking about nonstop for like two weeks?
GennyWPoint
NaynayAnd since when do I care about boots?
GennyWAnother point. So what about the vids?
NaynayI found a location!
GennyWREALLY?
NaynayYes indeedy. And it’s all approved and everything!
GennyWI could kiss you!
NaynayDid something happen and you forgot to tell me?
GennyWNooooooo! It’s a figure of speech and you know it
NaynayHey a girl can dream
GennyWLOL So where’s the place?
NaynayEver hear of Neverland?
GennyWLike in Peter Pan?
NaynayThat’s the one
GennyWObs, what about it?
NaynayDid you know there’s a store called Wonderland in town?
GennyWUm…no
NaynayKaaaayyyy…guess what they sell
GennyWNay!
NaynayJust one more I swear!
GennyWArrgh. Pirate ships?
NaynayNope
GennyWMermaids?
NaynayYou’re not even trying. What does Peter Pan want?
GennyWA mother.
NaynayWhy?
GennyWBecause he’s always going to stay a child, so…wait…NO!!
NaynayYes!
GennyWRight in town?
NaynayThey just opened a few weeks ago. I found them through a mention on one of my sites. An actualstore!Where you can walk in and not just click. But the best thing isn’t the clothes. It’s something else.
GennyWWhat?
NaynayThe store itself: They have part of it decorated as anursery…for big babies!
GennyWYou’re kidding
NaynayCrib, playpen, toys, stuffies, all sorts of things, and alladult sized
GennyWSo…
NaynaySo I told them about Baby G and asked if we could film vids there and they said yes as long as we credited the store on screen!
GennyWWow…this is really happening, isn’t it?
NaynayYes, little girl, it is. My Aunt Margie already agreed to let us use her vocal studio, which is pretty much professional level. I’m surprised she’s letting us. And I’mshockedthat she said she doesn’t need to supervise. So we’re totally golden!
GennyWOMG!
NaynayI believe if you scroll back to the top you’ll find I already said that.
It took several hours and about three million takes—or at least it seemed that way to Geneva— to get a recording of “The Water Looks Fine” that both she and Naomi agreed was about as close to perfect as they could get. Aunt Maggie had taken a long time just talking with the girls and teaching them the ropes of her sound board—Naomi was familiar with sound boards in general from tech at school but not with this one—and then, true to her word, she had left.
“Got a little shopping to do,” she said. “I’ll be back in the late afternoon if you’re still here.”
At that point they had smiled.No waywould they still be there that long. But it was after 4:00 now, so she actually could return any time.
The problem, it had turned out, wasn’t making a quality recording. They’d done that on about Take 2. The problem was making one that captured just the right feeling for the character they were creating. First, they had to find the right version of Geneva’s singing voice for “Baby G.” It couldn’t be Geneva’s straightforward voice; that much they’d agreed on: it would be too recognizable. But what would she do? She tried to “Do You Want To Build a Snowman?” it, swallowing its roundness so that it would sound younger as Kristen Bell had done in “Frozen,” but neither of them was satisfied with the result. It was good, but they thought it soundedtoo muchlike Bell. They didn’t want Baby G to be some kind ofimitation. She tried making it softer, but that had the unexpected result of making itsultrier,which was pretty much the opposite of what she was going for. In the end, after trying many variations, she ended up using a slightly nasal head voice that, to her, sounded all sorts of wrong, but somehow, when she played it back, she found that Naomi’s reaction had been right: it was indeed Baby G.
The struggle wasn’t over, though. They needed to figure out the production of the song. First they recorded a base version with just Geneva and her guitar, both at once.
“That’s it raw,” Naomi said. “Now let’s try some shit.”
Since Geneva also played keyboard, and keyboards can make the sound of pretty much any instrument you want, the two girls had a blast adding instrumentation to the song. The first thing they added was a drum track, knowing they’d get someone to record it for real if they decided to keep it; keyboard drumsalwayssounded awful. Geneva added some bass and another guitar for depth, and when Naomi suggested it, used the keyboard as a keyboard, letting some mean piano riffs into the piece. Eventually, they finished that version and listened to it, and realized exactly what they had: a terribly overproduced piece of musical amateurism. Fun to create, but justtoo much.
“We’re doing this all wrong,” Geneva said. “Think about what the videos are going to show: Baby G in her nursery, playing or whatever, right?”
Naomi nodded.
“So where do all of those other instruments come from anyway?”
Naomi smiled. “You need to get back in there and lay down just the guitar track so it’s perfect.”
It took awhile, but they did that, and Geneva even laid down a couple of extra guitar tracks that they decided they might overdub for depth without much of a problem. Then they tackled the vocals: singing to her guitar track, it only took two takes for Naomi to pronounce the track “golden.” For a while after that, they played with the overdubbing and decided to use one extra guitar on the chorus, and Geneva went back in and recorded a harmonizing vocal as well. When they put it all together, it sounded simply wonderful.
Baby G had her first Master Recording.
The message was all wrong.
After all of the work, all of the focus, all of the extra hours she’d put in; after the endless diets and purges, the pure hell of standing in front of mirrors, the way a single contrary voice could destroy all of the applause; after the voice lessons and the dance lessons, the summers in arts camps, the self-denial, the recognition that she was seen as a prima donna by just about everyone,this was not the message she was supposed to get.
Dear Miss Miranda,
We regret to inform you that New York University will not be able to offer…
Lara Miranda stared at her screen, not comprehending. Everything had been leading to this moment, when she would get into NYU, early admission, and then just roll through the rest of her senior year, an already-accepted college student with a future all mapped out. But the message on the screen stubbornly persisted in beingwrong.
“I don’t get it,” she said aloud, though no one else was there. “I have good grades. I have all the leads. I have great videos. My resumé kicks ass.Why?”
“Must just beyou,” said a voice behind her, and she spun her chair to see her freshman sister Jaymee standing at her door. “What happened?” she asked. Then she noticed the screen. “Is that NYU?”
Lara reached behind herself and, with a motion she had perfected in years of hiding screens from her mother, buried the current screen using the mouse. “None of your business, Shrimp.”
Lara never missed an opportunity to make fun of her sister’s lack of height. While Lara herself had been blessed with their father’s height, Jaymee was stuck much closer to the ground thanks to their mom’s tiny stature. Though she was only a freshman, andtechnicallyshe could still have some kind of growth spurt, no one expected her to. For a long time, Jaymee had countered by calling her “Stick,” but in the last two years she had at last filled out her figure and finally felt like a woman instead of a really tall pre-teen, so “Stick” basically no longer applied. For her part, Jaymee knew better than to react to the “Shrimp” monicker; it would only make things worse.
“It was, wasn’t it? You didn’t get in.”
They’re gonna find out anyway.“Well,” Lara said with a shrug, “they aren’t the only school in the world.”
Jaymee smiled. “Ooo…nowthat’sacting! If they could see that, they’d let you in. But I guess that would be some kind of paradox, wouldn’t it?”
“Geek!” Lara said, just wanting her sister to disappear.
“Drama queen!” Jaymee countered.
“Micro-nerd!” Lara shouted.
“Non-Violet!” Jaymee called, reaching for a devastating blow using the name of NYU’s sports teams, a name Lara, who had said it so often, would now not be a part of. Hearing this, Lara, who had been poised to continue the insult contest, simply stopped. Jaymee was right: she would never be a Violet, and she hadreallywanted to be. She felt tears welling in her eyes.
“Lara?” Jaymee was standing there, awaiting the next blow, and now realizing it wasn’t coming. She studied her sister and saw the change in demeanor: the slump of the shoulders especially was not a thing she associated with Lara. Then she saw a tear slide down her cheek. Immediately she was at her sister’s side, her arms around her.
“Lara, I’m sorry,” she said. “I wouldn’t have made fun if I’d—”
“It’s not you,” Lara said, her tears coming stronger now, her voice beginning to catch. “Anyway you’re probably right. They just didn’t wantme.”
Jaymee smiled a small, rueful smile. “Well, youarea bit of an acquired taste.”
Her sister chuckled through her tears. “Sometimes, I guess. Am I that bad?”
Jaymee paused, then went with it. “Sometimes, I guess. But you’re my sister and I love you no matter what. And now you have a clear job to do.”
“What?”
“Get out and kick so much ass that NYU will know they blew it big time!”
Lara gave her sister a long, hard hug. “I know I’m rough on you, Jaymee. I tease you a lot. But for what it’s worth, even though I’ll probably go back to normal tomorrow, I hope you know that I do realize how special you are.”
Jaymee stood up and shrugged. “Oh, I know that. And anyway I’m keeping a list of all of the mean things.”
Lara was puzzled. “Why?”
“If you become a star, I’ll use it to get you to let me into your entourage. And ifIbecome some world class scientist, I’ll use it to remind you why youdon’tget to ride on mine.”
“Creep,” Lara said, and they both laughed as Jaymee left the room.
Outside, in the hall, she bent down to pick up the small potted plant she had left there and walked down to the living room where her mom was reading.
“What was all that?” her mom asked.
“Lara didn’t get into NYU,” she replied.
Her mom put down her book. “Oh no!” she said. “Is she OK?”
Jaymee nodded. “I think she will be, Mom. But can you do me a favor?”
“What?”
“Take this to work or something? I was going to give it to her, but it’s kind of not appropriate any more.”
Her mother smiled and accepted the plant from her daughter, kissing her as she did so. “You really are a sweet child, Jaymee, especially with the way she treats you.”
“She’s OK.”
“Well, I’ll take care of this for you.”
As her daughter left, Adele Miranda slowly ran her fingers through the soft leaves and violet petals of the plant.Yes, I got really lucky with my children.


Re: Internet Star updated 5/23
Interesting. I didn’t expect to see anything from Lara’s POV.