Our Little Secret, Okay?
OUR LITTLE SECRET, OKAY?
The way that this began is...a bit confusing. First off all, hello. The names J. Nice eyes by the way. I had to work up a lot of courage to even think of doing this, but I have to bite my tongue at some point, right? This is the story of how I am... who I am today.
When I was a kid, since I was born rather, I had an absolutely lovely life. And I still do. My parents made sure I had everything and anything, despite that we are not the richest family. Again, we still aren't.
I am the middle child in my family, with a twin five minutes older than me and a little brother. My mom, being a middle child herself, always tried to show me as much love as possible.
I made it a bit hard on her with the fact that I never spoke much and never asked for anything, but I always found some way to show her that I loved her. Much better at showing it now, I grew a lot since then, and my life is perfect. If people can't see into my head.
I have a slight reputation of being the "achiever child." More of the quiet kid, but whatever. I care a lot about my studies, help in classes and talk to teachers, do volunteering whenever I can, stuff like that.
I write a lot as well; poetry, short stories, boot-leg versions of plays, I have many outlets for whatever my mind throws at me, as well as drawing. That may show me as incredibly boring, but I'm chill.
I put my friends and family before anyone else, and since it's pretty easy to be my friend, that's pretty much anyone. I'm always down to talk, love memes and video games, have an offensive sense of humor but have a heart as big as me (and I'm big, trust me.)
I hope to go into the medical field one day; already majoring in Medical Science and have an application to volunteer at our local hospital. I always saw my purpose on Earth was to take care of people, to the best of my ability.
Did I mention I'm 15? I probably should. Sorry about that.
To put it short my life is pretty much perfect. I'm progressing well, pushing myself every day to do good. The only problem is? I never told anyone that one little thing about me that could completely change how I'm seen. And I most likely never will, because I'm too afraid to risk it all. Anonymity is the best policy. I am an TB/DL. And have no way to express it. But I've had my opportunities. Or so I call it.
When I was six or seven years old, my baby brother was only three years old at that point, and still in diapers. There was one day when I was in his room and just saw him running around in a diaper laughing his ass off. I know I was a kid, but if that happened today, it would feel a lot like taunting. And I didn't even feel that way about diapers then!
That same day, I walked straight up to my mother, and asked her in the most innocent way, "Can I put on a diaper?" Sure as ****, she said a straight up no. Still have no idea why I did that. Later in life, that stuck. My baby brother just running around, playing, and being happy wearing what looked like a cloud around his waist. It looked so comfortable, and my desire for one only swelled.
A couple years later, I began to look up videos. People wearing these thick white diapers, either using them or just wearing them. Because they could. And that's when I knew.
Those days manifested into experiments that I tried to replicate the feeling. I would take the blankets from my bunk bed, bunch them up and stuff them in my pants. It felt very nice at times, sometimes even go on them, but I knew it couldn't possibly be the same.
I made a fatal mistake one day to try and hide the sheets in the cabinet under our sink. What was I supposed to do? I was eleven for god sake. My mom found it, and got so mad at me that she made me clean all of it up and swore that if she ever saw that again I would be beat (my mother has never put her hands on me, in fact she always says I'm her best behaved because I listen). Anyway, from then, I got crafty.
But, then again, there was nothing to get crafty with, there still isn't. By this time, I had outgrown trying to replicate the feeling of a nice, think diaper around my legs to use until it leaked. To have a pacifier in my mouth and play with baby blocks and Lego's and wear onesies and drink from baby bottles and- I'm losing myself, my bad.
Because I was going to try a new approach that is still in affect: patience. Wait until I get a job, and buy them myself. Online of course. In public I would probably have the most mental of breakdown's it would have to be put on live television.
Being a freshman now, I have had feelings of being a baby with all the fixes since the first day. And I am much more skilled at hiding it. Online and in real life. I am aware of DDLG and MDLB (I'm actually a Mommy dom, so, shout out to my special little munchkin!).
But I still imagine being the cutest and cuddliest baby I could possibly be. And I have learned so much about the community, about the people, and the heaven like life I would live as an AB. All I have to do is wait for my chance. To put it all into action.
Until then, I am the hardworking, quiet kid. With a very, very well kept secret. Who knows, maybe there will be a part two?...
Written By: J
E-mail: j26gamer@gmail.com