Rewind -- (Author) Kyler

[llsadmin]

############################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################
Author: Kyler
Timestamp: Jun 4, 2014 at 10:35 PM
Content: Hello! There may be a few of you who recognize the opening chapter of this story. That is because it is the first chapter of another story that I started on almost a year ago called "The Other Side of Youth". Shortly after starting that story, a few real world issues came up which canceled my visits to this site for quite some time. After returning, I realized that i had no idea what my original plan was for that story. So, rereading the opening chapter, I thought of a new story I could tell with it, and that is what I am bringing out now. I hope you enjoy the read and, as always, feedback and criticism is greatly appreciated!


Chapter One

“Cianán! It’s time for dinner. Get down here!”

Cian sighed and called back, “yeah, mom.” He wasn’t interested in dinner, in face he wasn’t hungry at all. But, refusing to come to the table wasn’t an option.

The black screen of his computer stared back at him as he continued to sit in front of it lost in thought. Light poured through his window and glinted off the monitor on which his own reflection looked on. I’m an old man now.

The thought came to him unwillingly and he knew it was preposterous. The look of youth still lingered fresh on his cheeks, skin pulled tight and tan. As much as he realized that he was no more closer to being old than he was to being a millionaire, the thought still haunted him. It had done so as long as he could remember, manifesting itself in small was at first back when he was younger. A simple longing here or an urge there at the sit of his baby brother. Then, it hadn’t bothered him. After all he was till practically a toddler himself, right? He was just jealous was all. But as he got older, rather than abating, the feeling grew and the thought bothered him more.

“Cian!” Came the woman’s voice up the stairwell again as he jumped at the bite in it s tone. “If I have to call you one more time mister, you’re going to be sad when I hand out desert.”

Loosing desert didn’t bother him much, after all it wasn’t like his mother actually meant it. However, making his mother angry was one thing that he wished to avoid. With a last glance at the monitor, Cian rose from his chair and headed downstairs.

Waiting for him was his brother, mother, and father all looking at him expectantly as he took his place at the table. He smiled weakly at his dad who just shook his head, a small almost undetectable hit of mirth tugging at the corners of his lips. It had long since been a rule at his house that the last one to arrive at the dinner table was the one to clean the kitchen and by the looks of tonight’s dinner, that would be quite a task.

As he helped himself to a piece of roasted chicken, the thoughts that had occupied him before still stick in his mind, echoing off the inside of his head in a ceaseless stream.

Cian glanced around the table, taking a hard look at his family. Could he really go through with it? He wanted to, with all his being he wanted nothing more. But a small part of himself cringed as h took in everyone’s faces. Was it a selfish act?

CIan took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak, but as he tried to speak, he choked on the words. He wasn’t ready. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his brother giving a curious look. It seemed he was the only one that noticed. Cian shook his head gently and continued to eat.

___________

A soft knocking penetrated the darkened room. Groggily, Cian opened his eyes and fumbled for his glasses. With effort, he rolled out of bed and walked to the door and opened it soundlessly.

“Noah?” He asked, stifling a yawn. “ What are you doing up?”

The boy didn’t answer and instead slipped inside the room. He walked over to Cian’s computer desk and sat down in the chair.

Cian looked at him for a moment and shook his head as he closed the door. Finding his way in the dark room dimly lit by the moon outside, he sat on the edge of his bed directly across from Noah.

“What’s going on in your head?”

Cian looked away and closed his eyes. His suspicion had been right, Noah had seen his hesitation at dinner. Unlucky for him, Noah wasn’t his little brother anymore. He was headed into high school and Cain couldn’t pull the wool over his eyes like he could in years past. But there was no way he could tell him the truth. Not yet. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Noah gave Cian a look of exasperation and folded his arms across his chest as if to say bullshit. “Come on. I’ve known you long enough to see through your charade. You wanted to say something tonight but you freaked out. You’ve been unusually quiet for three weeks now, hiding up here in your room. What is it, man? You’re not scared about leaving for college next month, are you?”

There it was, a way out and it was handed to him on a silver platter. “Yeah…” he said. “Yeah it’s going to be strange without you guys. I won’t have someone to correct ever few seconds.”

Noah laughed quietly and kicked out at Cian’s shins. “What yourself. I’m nearly as big as you are now.”

“And it thinks it knows all my tricks.” Cian retorted.

Noah shrugged. “Yeah, and more. With a teacher as bad as you I had to learn some stuff on my own.”

It was Cian’s turn to kick out this time and his foot connected with something solid. However, it wasn’t Noah’s shin like he expected but rather the edge of the rolling chair. His toe smarted. He looked up to see the chair turning from the kick. Noah shook in mirth as he twisted away from Cian. A second later a blinding light pierced the dark of the room as though a lighthouse had just turned its beam on his room, throwing everything in sharp contrast and searing his retinas.

Cian covered his face against the blinding onslaught and he fell back on the bed. After a moment, he risked squinting into the light. Noah too was recovering from the shock and was no peering into the light apparently trying to read what was on the screen.

Adrenaline rushed through Cian’s veins and he bolted up as he realized that it was the bump of the chair that had woken up his computer. Ice ran through his veins as he remembered the last site that had been opened and he buried his face in his hands. It was too late now to stop Noah from reading it and if he did it would just make it worse.

He waited what seemed like hours for Noah to finally speak and when his brother’s hushed voice filled the room once more, he realized he wasn’t ready.

“So…this is it.” Noah whispered, his back still towards Cian.

Cian couldn’t move. Every fiber of his being screamed that he deny the accusation that he get up and do something about the situation, but he couldn’t. Shock kept its tight grip on his muscles and his face remained buried in his hands. More seconds passed, each on feeling like an eternity. When he felt a warm touch on his shoulder, he jumped. He uncovered his face and looked up at Noah. His brother squeezed his shoulder.

After a moment, Noah let his hand fall back to his lap. He looked at Cian with concern. “It’s not the biggest surprise, you know.” He said

A look of bewilderment must have given Cian’s thoughts away because Noah continued on without pausing.

“Come on, Cian. We know each other better than anyone else knows us. I’ve noticed how even now your favourite stuffed animal is still on your shelf and how it seems to change how it sits every few days. And let’s face it, you’re not the greatest and hiding your footsteps on your computer.”

“There has been a few times that I happened across some sites you had visited - not that I was trying to.” Noah added. “We were always great friends growing up but I could tell your were jealous about something. I just couldn’t figure out why. But it makes sense now…”

A tear rolled down Cian’s face, not of sadness but of shame. He hadn’t realized that he’d been so obvious over the years and the thought that other people may know his secret gave him trouble.

“Look,” Noah began, his voice as gentle as he could make it. “ I don’t care, Cian. I’ve had my suspicions for years and this isn’t anything more than confirmation for me. This might not be the way you wanted me to find out but that doesn’t mean it was the wrong way.”

Noah reached out for Cian and hugged him. “You’re my brother and you’ve stuck beside me through more than on tough spot before and I’m not going to turn away from that.”

The emotion that flooded through him was overwhelming and all he could do was nod his head. Noah didn’t hate him even after he knew what Cian’s plan was and that was more than he could have ever asked for. “Thank you, Noah.” He finally said, quelling the sea of emotions that washed over him.

Noah let out a small chuckle as he released Cian from his embrace. “But you’re going to have to get a pair if your going to tell mom.”

____________________
Author's Note: A helpful guide to pronunciation.

As this novel is set in a fictional futuristic Ireland, many of the names encountered will be of Irish origin. Included below is a shortlist of key names and their pronunciation. more to be added as the need arises

Cian - PRONOUNCED: KEE-an, (Cianán - A diminutive (or pet name) of a given name is a short and/or affectionate form. Often they are only used by friends and relatives.)

More names will be added when the need arises.

- - - Updated - - -

Now, it wont be normal that i post two chapters at a time. However I didn't just want to put up a revised chapter that I'd already released one time before. So, as a bonus, here's chapter 2!

Chapter 2

Cian barely seemed to be able to focus on anything the next day. As he pushed the lawn mower across their small yard, he often had to retrace his steps to cut a patch of grass that he had missed during one of the many times he zoned out.

Noah had given him much to think about and the questions seemed to cloud his mind like angry storm clouds.

His brother had already proved to him that even though he planned on leaving them, at least someone in his family would forgive him, wouldn’t be angry at him. But, was one person enough?

“Watch it!”

Cian stopped short, coming to from yet another momentary lapse of attention. The lawn mower was just inches away from his mother’s flower garden and she was looking up at him with a look of relief in her eyes.

“Sorry, mom” Cian said, turning the lawn mower around to face what little yard was left to cut.

“You will be.” she retorted, playfully rapping his leg.

Cian laughed and walked forward, the mower’s blade slicing at the grass once again.

When he was finished and the mower was put away, Cian headed towards the house. Once inside, he felt relief from the heat of summer and took a moment to take it in, standing under a vent.

He walked down the hall into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. He grabbed a fizzy drink and walked to the living room where Noah was watching the television.

The clash of steel upon steel filled the room with the sound of war. Angry voices added to the fray as people shouted to one another on the display. An old show depicting vikings was on.

Cian took a sip of his drink and let the sound fall over him. It was nice to have something that could overcome the sound of war that rang in his own head and he welcomed the few moments of blissful silence it gave.

The din faded out and a commercial began to play. Cian only gave it half of his attention. The news about the upcoming football match was already a topic he knew about. However, what came next almost made him choke on his drink.

“Old age is something that everyone from childhood knows will happen eventually. There is no way to get around it, it is just thee way of the world. Until now. We here at<> Institute of Medicine think we have discovered the key to the future. For more information please visit our website.”

He had heard the commercial before. It was what had prompted his visit to their site in the first place. But with Noah listing after last night…he shifted nervously in his seat.

Noah must have sensed his unease and stood up. “Come on,” he said, motioning towards the door, “let’s go for a ride.”

Cian finished his drink in a few chugs and followed Noah outside. They grabbed their bikes and took off down the road.

Overhead, the sky had turned a familiar grey. Rain was coming in this evening and was expected to stay for the rest of the week.

Turning off the main road, the two peddled up a hill that banked around to the left. At the top was a small park nestled in their quaint neighborhood and they stopped for a rest.

Cian kicked the kickstand down on his bike and walked over to a covered bench. He hoped that the rain would hold off until they got back.

“Why do you want to do this.” Noah asked once they got their breath back. “It’s just, I think you might find it easier to tell them if you can explain it to yourself first.”

Cian thought for a while. Noah was right, having an explanation would make it easier for him but he could barely explain it to himself as it was.

I don’t know Noah, he wanted to say. That was the truth. But if he didn’t know why, then how could he possibly go through with it? No, he thought, he did know why he wanted to do this, he just didn’t want to admit to it.

“I don’t know if you can understand,” he began, “but ever since we were little, I always wanted to trade places with you. I wanted the be the little brother. At first, I thought it was just because I was jealous because you were taking the attention that I used to have all to myself, but as I got older I realized that wasn’t why.”

“When I look at myself, I don’t see the reflection that I feel like I should. Instead, I see…” He hesitated, a knot forming in his throat.

“You see someone who isn’t a kid.” Noah finished for him.

Cian nodded. The truth, not the lie that he told himself. The reason he wanted to do this was because the person he felt like he was, didn’t match what he saw.

The same feelings of doubt washed over him as he came to this realization. Made even more potent as he realized the root cause. “Am I being…selfish?” He asked, turning away from Noah and looking out over the gentle grassed slope of the park.

The answer came back quicker than he expected.

“Yes.” Noah replied. “But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do this. Sometimes it’s not a bad thing for a person to do something selfish.”

“No?”

“Wait a second.” Noah said, Cian turning to face him. “How come I sound like the older brother here? Aren’t you supposed to have all the wisdom?”

Cian laughed. It was the the first real happiness he’d felt in days. “Am I?” He retorted.

Noah punched him in the shoulder. “Right now you are. At least for a little while.”

With that proclamation, a silence fell between them as they both realized the implications that the events to unfold would have.

“This is going to change everything.” Cian said.

Noah leaned his head on Cian. “I wont see you for a while, will I.” It was more a statement than a question because they both already knew the answer.

It began to rain. It began as a mist that spread across the grass until it became so thick that it started to obscure their surroundings. After a few moments, it became thicker - distinct droplets of rain now splashing at their feet.

“Can you tell them?”

“If I have some help.”

They arrived home, soaked from head to toe. After drying off, Cian headed down stairs to the living room intending to watch the tele. However, Noah stopped him in the hallway, catching him by the arm. “Ready?”

Cian’s heart skipped a beat. No, he wasn’t ready, he needed more time. This was too quick.

“You’ve got to get it done.” Noah said, feeling Cian go rigid. He began to lead Cian into the living room where his parents were sitting.

Cian felt their eyes on him the moment they entered the room for Noah had lead them straight in front of the couch.

“Do it.” Noah whispered in his ear.

Taking a deep breath, Cian tried his best to calm his nerves. “Mom…Dad, I need to tell you something.”

____________________
Author's Note: A helpful guide to pronunciation.

As this novel is set in a fictional futuristic Ireland, many of the names encountered will be of Irish origin. Included below is a shortlist of key names and their pronunciation. more to be added as the need arises

Cian - PRONOUNCED: KEE-an, (Cianán - A diminutive (or pet name) of a given name is a short and/or affectionate form. Often they are only used by friends and relatives.)

More names will be added when the need arises.

############################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################
Author: Kyler
Timestamp: Jun 24, 2014 at 3:16 AM
Content: Just an update. Still working on this project. It's going to be slow going as I am running a summer camp this summer and it eats up all of my day and leaves me quite exhausted for the effort. However, it has not slipped my mind I assure you!

############################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################
Author: Kyler
Timestamp: Dec 30, 2014 at 9:36 AM
Content: Chapter 3

The early morning drizzle streaked across the windows of the bus, blurring the world outside the warm interior. Gray clouds promised to linger as they normally tended to do and the weather had taken a cold turn. It was a day to match his mood, Cian felt. He leaned his head back against the hard headrest behind him and closed his eyes. He’d had a long night with little sleep and it was beginning to catch up to him.

He knew telling his parents his intentions would be hard, but reality hadn’t even come close to what he had imagined. The image of his mother’s red, angry face flashed through his mind and his breath caught in his throat. Accusations began to replay in his head. He didn’t love them. He was ungrateful. He was a freak. Each one hit him like a lash from a whip. Noah had tried his best to help. As Cian had become too emotional to speak, Noah stepped up and started to defend him.

“Of course he’s being selfish. But he’s being selfish about something that means the world to him.” Noah had implored to their mother, a stubborn look of defiance in his face that Cian couldn’t remember ever seeing before. “What if it was you that was conflicted about who you were? Wouldn’t you do anything to stop that confusion? If anything you’re the one who is being the most selfish. Cian told you his biggest secret and all you can do is push him around?”

In the end it hadn’t mattered. As he sat on the bus headed into town, Cian wasn’t sure that Noah was right. I am conflicted, he reasoned, I have too many different people living inside me. But, I am deserting the people who raised me, who have loved me unconditionally, said a nasty voice in his head. And perhaps his parents were right. But Noah still loves you. That was true, his brother had helped him again this morning getting ready to go before daybreak. It was only him that saw him out and only him that had said goodbye.

Outside, tall buildings rushed by as the bus turned down a major city road. People were hurrying between workplaces and shops; some huddled beneath umbrellas and others carrying the newspaper over their heads. Cian watched them. If he went through with it, he wouldn’t have to worry about a job, or school, or anything grown-up again. At least not for a while. The thought gave him solace. He would miss his mother, his father, and most of all Noah, but he would finally get to be the person he saw himself as.

___

His clothes were drenched and his shoes squeaked and squelched against the linoleum floor as he walked up to the front desk. Around him, the lobby rose up with two floors of balcony surrounding the central area. It was an impressive building. The lady at the desk kept typing on her keyboard until he reached her. She smiled at him.

“Can I help you, sir?” She asked.

“My name is, Cian.” He said.

He saw her type on the keyboard in front of her and watched as she consulted the monitor. Finally she looked up. “Ah, you’re a bit early. We weren’t expecting you until later this afternoon.”

Cian blushed. “I would have had problems getting here if I didn’t leave early.” He said, hoping that his answer was enough to satisfy her without going into the details.

The lady nodded and turned her attention back to the monitor. “Well, let me see if I can get you back sooner. They wont be able to see you until this afternoon, but you’ll be more comfortable back there.” She motioned to a bench near one of the large glass windows. “If you want to have a seat, I’ll be with you in a few minutes.”

Cian left the desk and walked to the bench. The building was a great example of sleek design. Its silver structure contrasted with the almost electric blue tint of the windows. Light came from inlaid bulbs and provided a soft white glow that had no discernible source. The middle of the lobby consisted of an indoor courtyard; a few trees and bushes as well as a fountain. The bench itself was a sleek, curved design that, much to his delight, turned out not to be completely metal. The seat was actually a foam material.

True to her word, the lady motioned for him to return after only a few minutes. She pointed him through a set of double doors and told him the room number in which he could wait.

His footsteps echoed in the immaculate hallway as he made his way deeper into the building. Cian began to wonder if there was anyone in the building as he saw no one else on the way to the room. When he reached the door, he reached out to open it only to have the door slide open on its own accord. He stepped into the room.

As was the case with the lobby, the inside of this room was lit with a soft white glow. Cian walked over to one of the chairs and sat in it. Once he ha settled in,the air in front of him shimmered. Then, a screen came into life, advertising an assortment of activities while he waited. Cian selected ‘television’ from the list and chose a channel. He didn’t particularly care what he was watching as long as it offered some distraction.

The door chimed. Cian woke with a start and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He couldn’t remember when he had nodded off but he was glad for it. The fog that had clouded his brain earlier had gone. The door swung open.

“Cian. My name is Ayla. I will be the doctor overseeing your stay here.”

A red-headed woman had entered the room. She wore a brilliant white lab coat and a pen poked out of its front pocket. Cian stood, passing through the still active screen. He held out his hand.

“Nice to meet you.” He said.

She motioned for him to have a seat again. He sat. “I have to say, Cian, I am surprised that you’ve volunteered. Happy, just surprised. We need people of all ages to test.”

Cian shifted uneasily in his seat.

Ayla pressed on. “In a few minutes a few more people will be joining us and you’ll be able to meet the other people who have volunteered. After that, we’ll start preparations for the test. If all goes well we’ll have our results by the end of the week. But,” she said in a sudden serious tone, “before we go through with this I have to make sure you understand the implications.” She took a moment to compose her thoughts and in those few seconds, Cian’s heart began to race. “After this test is done, your life wont be the same. I’m not just talking about the physical changes, Cian. A procedure like this means that everyone you’ve known will no longer know you as they used to. With some people that can be too much.”

His eyes stung. “You’re saying that I might not be accepted by the people I used to know.” He felt a tear roll down his cheek. Noah, Mom, Dad, all gone from his life. Forever. The thought had come to him before, but it felt so real now that he was here.

Ayla reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “I can’t promise you either way. When the testing is over, we’ll let you contact your parents. I don’t know what circumstances have lead you here but if there is a chance that you can go back to your loved ones, we’ll let you make the effort.”

“What if,” Cian started to ask, but his question caught in his throat.

“They don’t take you back?” Ayla supplied.

Cian nodded.

“If that’s the case, we will find you a new home. You wont be on your own, Cian.” Ayla stood from her chair. “You’re very brave.” She said, smiling at him. “Not just because you are part of the first group of people to undergo this procedure, but because…” her voice trailed off as the door slid open again.

“Ah, Ayla you’re here. Very good.”

This time a short, stout man came through the door. He was followed by a troop of other people all whom looked nervous. As they all filed in, Cian noted that, of the younger people, most of them seemed somehow diminished and many of them were without hair. One by one, they all found a chair in the room at sat down. Next to him, a boy about his age found a seat. This boy in particular seemed to be the only one who didn’t look sickly out of the entire group.

“Yes. Now that we are all together, let me introduce myself.” The stout man continued from the front of the room. “ My name is Doctor Mckinney. I am the head of this project and have been here since its conception many years ago.” He made a broad gesture. “Welcome.”

Cian listened intently as Mckinney lectured on the origins of the project and the many phases of testing it had gone through all ready. By the time he was through, Cian felt ready. He felt he could trust the team and that everything would go smoothly. The only thing that made him uneasy was the look the boy next to him was giving him.