Snuggles and Tears Chapter 28
Date Published: October 1, 2008, 7:39pm
Written By: BabyButt
Hi Folks,
This one is short, but we haven’t really adressed how Billy’s daddy sees things since the surgery. This makes it pretty clear how he feels about all of this.
Hope you like it,
Enjoy!
BabyButt
Chapter 28
Rick opened his eyes, not realizing where he was for a moment. When the reason he was on a cot in a hospital room came into focus, he got out of bed and made his way toward Billy’s room. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he saw it was eleven thirty. He quietly moved into the room and stood at the foot of Sharon’s bed. She lay sleeping, Billy snuggled close.
Each had made the other so much happier over the last couple of days. As unusual as it was, he was glad Sharon had decided to nurse Billy, the expression on her face when he was nursing at her breast said volumes about how much she enjoyed being that close to him.
Rick’s nose told him Billy needed a diaper change. Moving to the side of the bed, he noticed that someone had placed electrode pads on the boy’s chest and tummy. They were connected to a small box laying next to him. Looking up to the corner of the room, he saw a monitor displaying numbers and several line graphs in green on a black background.
Supporting his bottom with one hand, his head and shoulders with the other, he gently lifted Billy, box and all from the bed, taking great pains not to wake him up. Taking two steps to the crib, Rick placed him on his back on the mattress, Billy’s feet closest to him. Pulling a fresh Pamper and the wipes from a nearby shelf, he lay them in the crib and preceded to unfasten the little boy’s messy diaper.
As Rick was wiping his bottom clean, Billy opened his eyes. “Hi stinker butt.” he whispered softly with a smile. The stimulation of the wipes on his bottom caused the boy to squirm a bit. Rick noticed the movements of Billy’s arms and legs were spastic and repetitive. “He moves like an infant.” he thought to himself. This was further emphasized when Billy pushed half his balled up fist into his open mouth, attempting to suck on it.
Getting the clean diaper fastened securely in place, he turned, and with his long arms managed to hold Billy in place with one hand and reach his pacifier on the bed with the other. Gently removing the boy’s hand from his mouth, he gave Billy the nipple, saying “Here’s your binky, Baby.”. Billy began to suck rhythmically as Rick picked him up, cradled him, and sat down in the rocker.
Glancing to see that Sharon was fast asleep, he turned back to his little boy and told him softly “All clean, yep, you’re all clean now baby boy.” in that voice fathers use with babies only when they think no one’s around to hear them. “You’re such a cute little boy, yes you are,” he said with a smile. “yes you are.” he repeated, watching as Billy responded with an infantile grin at the high pitched voice and his daddy’s smile. “Daddy loves taking care of you, even changing you’re stinker butt, but don’t tell mommy that, we’ll keep that just between us, OK?” Rick said in that sing-song voice. Hearing more of Daddy’s voice made Billy smile bigger and giggle slightly.
Rick chuckled softly. He had to admit, he missed this. Seeing Billy’s innocent smile, and watching it reach his big, brown eyes, filled Rick with warmth.
Terry had watched Rick head to Billy’s room. She took it upon herself to go and get a bottle for the boy, and brought it in just as Rick was laughing. Handing the bottle to Rick, she watched as Rick offered it to him saying “I though you might need this.” with a smile.
“Thank you.” he said with an appreciative smile. When Rick pulled the binky out, Billy started kicking his legs out straight and then pulling them back up toward his tummy. Once he had the nipple, nursing on it, Billy calmed his kicking.
Reaching out, Terry took billy’s right foot in her hand. Pulling a plastic, pencil shaped object from her pocket, she ran the point along the middle of the sole, going the length of the foot. His big toe pulled up and the others fanned out as his leg reflexively pulled against her grip.
“What’s that? A reflex?” Rick asked softly.
“Yes, it called the Babinski. It’s normal in an infant. Normally in children after two, his toes would all curl downward. His didn’t. It indicates there is a problem with the nerve signals between the spinal chord and the brain.” Terry explained.
Releasing the right foot, she repeated the process with the left, getting the same result. “I suspect that if someone had done this a year ago, the results would’ve been the same.” she told him.
“Wouldn’t they have done this at his physical?” Rick questioned.
“No, not unless there was some indication of neurological damage. Some GP’s do it, but it’s not the norm.” she replied. “I need to see another patient. If you need anything, let me know.” she said with a smile.
“Thank you.”.
“No problem.” she responded as she left the room.
Rick had to wonder if it would have been better if they’d found the cyst a year ago. It would have been very different, he knew. The way things happened, at least they had had time to get used to the idea of caring for Billy like a baby. He didn’t know how he would have reacted if he hadn’t had the chance to see Billy so happy to be cuddled and cared for as a toddler. Knowing that this is what Billy wanted made it much easier to care for him this way.
He chuckled to himself as he thought that most parents would dread the idea of diapering, feeding and bathing a nine year old, even if he was the size of a four or five year old. They would look upon it with dread, and concentrate on the loss of who he’d been, where he saw it as a second opportunity to cement the bond between parent and child.
While he wanted Billy to reach his every potential and be successful in life, he was quite content to wait for him to do it at his own pace.
He had balked when the doctors had stressed that they should take Billy’s binky away to help push him along. They had said his height would cause enough problems, and helping him become more mature would make it easier to deal with. It was difficult, but he had gone along with it. That pushing may have been the reason for the desire Billy expressed in his prayer. Perhaps they pushed him a little too hard, he didn’t know. What he did know though, as strange as it sounds, he was glad for the regression. It would give Billy an opportunity to get what he evidently missed.
“Everything happens for a reason.” Rachael was fond of saying. Rick believed it in this case.
Rick’s thoughts turned to an area he didn’t want to think about. What if the regression didn’t stop? He would lose this beautiful little boy. Rick was seldom afraid of anything in his life, but what he was afraid of always seemed to have to do with those he cared about, and this thought made his gut clench.
He had no idea how Peter got through it. He wasn’t sure he could survive the loss of a child. It would rip a gaping wound so big in his heart he couldn’t imagine it ever healing.
Locking his eyes with Billy’s, looking into that wondrous gaze, he was certain it would test him to his limits. “Please God, don’t take him.” he whispered. “He’s given us so much, even as a baby, and I couldn’t bear to lose him. If you have to, leave him as he is, just don’t take him from me.” he said and leaned down to gently kiss Billy’s cheek.