Matching Mary - the Epilogue -- (Author) babyann

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Jul 28, 2021 at 12:02 PM
Content: Epilogue

So Mommy invited Elsa and Daan around for a meal last night. This had a multiple purpose. Mostly it was to thank them for giving me a lift all the way from Jo’burg to Cape Town, which was really, really sweet of them. Another reason is because they are really good old friends of Mommy’s. Mommy went to nursing college with Elsa, and Daan was the junior doctor that Elsa ran off with. They worked together for many years in number of different wards, and different hospitals. But there was also the “right amount of humiliation, that I deserved” according to Mommy. In the story ‘Matching Mary’ some people had asked for me to include more up to date stories about my life now with Mommy, but Mommy remains quite a private person, but She felt that if I were to record this evening, then readers to that story would be able to see that I am in a good place now, in a place where I am loved and cared for. This was done with full permission from everyone involved.

“Mommy! I promise I will be good, please don’t make me wear this”. I stomped my foot in frustration.

“Well, let us see if you can behave yourself between now, and when our guests arrive, shall we? If you can prove to me that you have been good, then I will change you, but otherwise, you stay in that cute little number” Mommy said smiling as She flicked the hem of my dress up further exposing my thickly nappied bottom underneath, “but stamping your feet at me is not likely to gain you any favours young lady,” she warned, trying to look stern over her glasses. She looked away, but then immediately back, hoping to catch me sticking my tongue out. I might have been about to that, but managed to contort my face into a puckered kiss, and i dramatically blew a kiss at My Mommy. Mommy could do little but laugh at the performance.

“Lay the table rather than playing about, as I am too busy in the kitchen,” ordered Mommy, leaving me faced with a long empty table, as She turned and dashed into the kitchen Her beautiful long hair and apron strings tailing behind Her.

I stood pouting at the table for a moment or two, until i caught my reflection in the patio window. The little dress i was wearing was even shorter than i realised…. I thought my nappy might be visible from behind, but it was clearly visible from the front too! I stood sideways on to the patio, and determined that my reflection looked really cute, and i wiggled my bottom as i watched the reflection show even more of the frilly plastic panties over my nappy. On a ‘normal’ day, i would have been delighted to be dressed like this, with just me and My Mommy in the house. But today Mommy had invited Elsa and Daan over as a thank you for giving me a lift.

“Mommy,” I shouted, “who shall I put where, and how many courses are we having, and do I put wine glasses on the table?” No answer, so I padded through into the kitchen next door, exasperated that Mommy couldn’t hear me from so close.

“Ann, you really are not helping yourself here, are you?” Mommy sternly said looking at me over the top of her glasses in one of ‘those’ looks, which made me immediately alter my pose taking my hands off my hips and standing demurely. “You know full well that I never answer questions shouted rudely at me from another room, don’t you? As for seating plans” she continued, “and courses, well normally you should alternate boy, girl, boy, girl, but we only have the one boy, but then normally we would sit opposite one another placing our guests to either side of us, but I think, given your present attitude, that you ought to lay your place next to mine, so I can keep an eye on you, through the meal. And you know what we are planning to eat, as you helped me decide the meal. Really? Maybe I shouldn’t let you spend the whole weekend in my bed as you were so tired from your journey, and from writing your stories, as your brain does not seem to have properly woken up, perhaps I get you to lay your place with your baby eating utensils?”

“Well…maybe you shouldn’t drug me to keep me in your bed!” I chirped back as Mommy had later admitted that She gave me one of Her sleeping pills, to help me sleep. I screamed as She chased me out of the kitchen, with a spatula aimed for my nappied behind! Over a longer distance, Mommy’s long legs would easily outpace my little wobbly legs, but darting around the dining table, I thought I was in with a good chance of getting away. That was until the doggies joined in the chase, and they got tangled up around my legs on purpose. We were all giggling uncontrollably as Mommy swatted my padded butt with her weapon. Somehow all that ended up with Her landing a huge kiss on me, before sending me back to my chores.

I laid all the table, even adding some candles and some flowers to the table. Mommy did ask me to take the candles off, as it wasn’t supposed to be a romantic date, just a catch up between friends. She explained She had known Elsa and Daan for all of Her adult life. They weren’t players in her BDSM lifestyle, but just really good old friends. Mommy went on to suggest that She viewed Elsa as a sister from another mother, and so Daan was her brother-in-law. She was delighted that they would be based in Cape Town for a while, so they could catch up.

Fortunately (for me, and my attire), we got everything finished in plenty of time, and so Mommy had loads of time to choose our dresses, and to put some makeup on us both. The dress that Mommy chose for me was a bit longer than the previous one, but I would still have to be careful how I moved all evening, especially as She had also put one of the recent frilly diaper covers that I have made for myself on top of the cloth diaper, plastic panties and white pantyhose. My hair was braided into 2 plaits with ribbons attached, so I still looked quite infantile, but I didn’t mind, as in Mommy’s company it is almost impossible for me not to regress. I also get a special thrill whenever Mommy dresses me, or braids my hair, or puts my makeup on. She says it is just because I am an attention hog, but it really goes much deeper than that. I also love being a voyeur (as I always feel) watching Mommy undress from Her everyday clothing, and slide into more formal wear. Mommy often puts my pacifier in my mouth to “stop me drooling”.

We were both ready, and had walked around the dining area and kitchen several times checking that we had everything in order when we heard their huge RV pulling into Mommy’s short driveway. I had to wear my face mask, as I was the only person who had not received a vaccination, and as Elsa and Daan would be working in a vaccination Centre, they had to be cautious. Mommy didn’t have to, as She has had her vaccination already. We greeted them at the door, and Mommy fixed her and Elsa drinks, while I fixed 2 rock shandies for Daan and me. Daan explained he was driving, so would not be drinking, and I don’t drink alcohol. They were being put up in a local hotel, and not having to sleep in their vehicle.

We all sat on Mommy’s large balcony, watching the sun dip beneath the horizon. I kept mostly out of the conversation as they caught up on old times and laughed and reminisced together. I didn’t feel left out at all, as I was sat next to my Mommy, and when I wasn’t nipping into the kitchen to make sure nothing was boiling over, or burning, Mommy would rub my back or stroke my arm, so I was the happiest girl alive. It wasn’t until we moved to the dining table that Elsa began to describe the journey, from her and Daan’s point of view. Sadly, for me, to eat the meal I had to remove my face mask, so then everyone could see me blushing.

“When Rebecca initially asked me if we could give one of her friends a lift I was a bit skeptical,” Elsa admitted, “as we have to try to keep ourselves slightly distanced from unvaccinated people given our jobs, plus I have known some of Rebecca’s ‘friends’ from her alternative lifestyle, and well, you have to admit that some of them were real weirdos?”

Mommy agreed, but went on to explain, “yes, but I also explained that Ann was only a little bit weird, didn’t I?” I blushed at this, as this was all new information to me.

“Oh you certainly did, Rebecca! You made it very clear that this was a particularly special friend of yours and quite unlike any of your previous lifestyle choices. Ann,” she aimed the comment at me, “I have known Rebecca, your Mommy, for ever, and while I don’t share her interest in her alternative lifestyles, we have met some of the other people that your Mommy has played with in the past. We once had a man here, dressed as a maid, serving us our food and wine throughout the meal. And, Daan do you remember that time, when she had that boy on a leash at her feet all evening?”

Daan laughed, “yes, I wasn’t sure whether to pat him or whether I should ignore him like you are supposed to do with a working guide dog!”

Elsa continued, “but I had never heard of Adult Babies before, so your Mommy had to explain what that was all about. But, she also said that you were unlike any other play partner from the past, you were ‘special’. No need to feel embarrassed, everyone here has worked a few years in busy accident and emergency wards, where we have seen everything. On more than one occasion I have even had to telephone your Mommy for advice as we have had patients with different things attached to different parts of their bodies. We get men involved in car accidents who are wearing a business suit, but once we take that layer off we have been greeted with all manner of ladies lingerie. And every A & E ward will have a collection of items retrieved from different orifices, that people have somehow ‘lost’ or ‘sat upon’. We have seen it all!”

Nevertheless I was blushing now, and looking down at the table, so Mommy slid her hand across and gave my hand a squeeze.

Elsa continued, “so you had warned me that Ann was a bit younger than you, and you had even told me her age, as a reason why she had not been able to get vaccinated yet, but I was quite shocked when we pulled up outside her flat. Remember we hardly saw her face, for the whole trip, as Ann was very good and kept her face mask on all the time, so we could only really judge her age by her size and her eyes. So when this tiny, slight figure came staggering out of her flat, weighed down with her bags, we couldn’t really guess her age. All we could see was these big blue eyes blinking at us! I even asked Daan to guess Ann’s age, once Ann had got comfortable in the back of our RV.”

“I think I guessed you were a teenager” explained Daan to me.

“No,” corrected Elsa, “you actually said it was difficult to guess, but you said Ann could be anything between 14 and 24! Which means, Professor, that you are out by more than two decades! Ann, I am sorry, but you were the centre of most of our conversations on the way down. We both commented on how you sit, like you are now, you tend to sit right on the front edge of any seat or chair, as though you are ready to stand up, with your back very straight, whereas the rest of here have awful postures, as we are all slumped back in our chairs. The other thing we both noticed was how it was difficult to engage you in direct conversation, as you are very quiet, but as long as we were not directly looking at you, you would appear to be happy chatting away. We both enjoyed chatting with you as each one of us drove and you were sat in the front passenger seat. And we must thank you for the special star gazing that you arranged for us.”

I thought I needed to say something, if only to prove I wasn’t so shy I couldn’t speak directly to them “it seemed a great opportunity as we stopped in the middle of the Karoo and there would be no artificial lights around us.” I explained.

“Oh it was a wonderful opportunity,” agreed Elsa, “did she tell you Rebecca?”

Mommy replied, “no, all she could report about was how ‘cool‘ you two both are and how ‘incredible’ your motorhome is”

Elsa responded, “oh, and that was so sweet too, when Ann called you on Skype and brought her phone through so we could talk to you, that was when I really first saw your ‘little’ girl, as she was so happy to be talking to you. Anyway, the stargazing was fabulous, we had pulled off the N1 and driven a short way down a gravel road so we couldn’t be seen from the highway, the plan was to grab something to eat, and have a sleep before setting off again. But your little girl suggested we should go and lie down on the side of the road! We pulled some old blankets and things out of the vehicle as it was well below freezing there already, and we laI’d some on the ground first and then pulled the others over the three of us, with just our faces exposed. Daan and I have been travelling and camping for years, but we have never had someone so knowledgeable or passionate about stars, like you Ann. Honestly, if you really are looking for a new career then you could do worse than being an astronomer, explaining the stars to ignorant people like us. I think again, because it is not face to face, you are inspiring to listen to, as you pointed out different stars and constellations to us. Did you know that you can even see satellites track across the sky, Rebecca?”

“Yes,” Mommy replied, “she often makes me lie out in the freezing cold so she can quiz me about the stars, in fact we have even watched the space station track across the sky, which is quite impressive. But then I am sure she makes up names of some of them…did she show you the one she calls Beetle Juice?”

“Mommy, i don’t make the names up,” I whined, “and it is Betelgeuse anyway”. Mommy smiled back at me, but Elsa piped up before anything else could be said

“Yes! She did, I remember that because once you look at it is a red colour isn’t it, but it is some incredible distance away from us, right?”

“Yes,” I said, warming to my favourite subject, about my favourite star “it is a Red Supergiant, over 500 light years away from us. That is the one that might have exploded into a giant supernova already. If that happens in our lifetime, then it will make the night sky seem almost as bright as daylight. It is really exciting.”

“You make it exciting Ann,” Elsa said warmly, “we really enjoyed our star lesson, and wish it could have gone on for longer, but it was so cold out there, that eventually we all had to move back into the RV, to warm up. You will have to excuse me, Ann, but that was when I found out that you were nappied. Rebecca had informed me that you would be, but neither Daan or I could tell, so when I gave you a hug as you were completely frozen, I did feel the extra padding under your skirt. But you were frozen! Of course, your Mommy made it clear that you were diapered when we dropped you off, as almost the first thing she did was to lift up your skirt to see if you needed changing, and then she was so awful to you by asking us if you had left any damp patches in our vehicle, didn’t she? Actually, you were such a polite, nice passenger for the whole trip, and it was so endearing to watch you get increasingly excited the closer we got to Cape Town. You were literally quivering with excitement, which is why I suggested to Rebecca that she needed to quickly get you inside before you exploded. You even did this sweet thing by going to bite your nails, but forgetting you were wearing a face mask. At one stage, you actually put your finger underneath your face mask so you could bite your nail, I don’t think you even realised, did you?”

I was blushing quite badly by now, but Mommy reassured me that we were all friends around the table. The other time when I felt uncomfortable was when I caught Elsa looking at my arms. All the clothing I have ever bought myself have long sleeves, but Mommy prefers to dress me in sleeveless or short sleeved dresses. The problem with this is that my arms have lots of scars on them, scars from the operations on my wrists, scars from self harming, and scars from self administered drug injections. These would all be instantly recognizable to someone who had worked in Accident and Emergency, as Mommy had previously told me that they are trained to look for tell-tales like that in patients arriving in their wards. She smiled sweetly at me as I attempted to hide the scars by holding my arms against my body.

Finally the meal was over and we all sat around the fire to keep warm. Of course I had to sit next to my Mommy and Daan and Elsa cuddled up on the other sofa to keep warm. I realised I was doing exactly what they had noticed by sitting on the front of the seat, while Mommy rubbed my back, so I consciously moved back and snuggled into Mommy’s warm body. A while later, Mommy whispered in my ear to go to fetch my bottle, I looked at her to check whether she really wanted to feed me my bottle in front of her friends, but she just nodded, and mouthed “it will be all right”. So I quietly got up and went into the kitchen to warm up some milk. At least this would mean it didn’t have to be formula, I reasoned with myself.

I walked back to the fire and handed Mommy my bottle before sitting back next to her and laying over across Her lap so She could cradle me and feed me my bottle. I actually didn’t mind, or can remember being embarrassed at all, but I guess I was regressed completely at that stage. All my focus would have been on Mommy and my bottle. I think I must have fallen asleep in Mommy’s arms, and She did tell me that I had slept for quite some time while She chatted with Daan and Elsa, both catching up on old times with them, but also explaining our own plans together. She also assured me that neither Daan not Elsa would have minded me being fed my bottle or being so rude, by falling asleep in their company. Mommy explained that they just accepted me as Her baby, and so it was completely natural for me to fall asleep in Her arms. They were invited along to the big celebration that we are hoping to have (pandemic allowing) later in the year.

I did wake up when our guests left much later, but not properly. I stood with my arms around my Mommy as they left, waving at them as they reversed their huge vehicle out of our drive.

Mommy then led me back to Her bedroom, where She undressed me for bed, putting a fresh nappy on me. I lay in bed warming it up while I watched Her undress, and slide Her beautiful body into her own nightie. She slid under the covers next to me, then kissed, and I could taste the brandy that She had been drinking. I was soon asleep in Her arms, breathing in Her powerful perfume. I slept knowing I was exactly where I needed to be, with exactly the one person I needed to be with. I imagine I slept with a happy smile on my face.

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Jul 28, 2021 at 1:51 PM
Content: Thank you Chris, I really enjoyed writing this one. I know the ending is happy!!

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Jul 29, 2021 at 7:54 AM
Content:

kerry said:

This is so totally lovely, Ann. I think that the sincerity and the emotion you put into all of your writing is what truly makes it work. Some people do not take their time to describe and develop, but you do. Beautiful.

[End of quote]

Thank you (as ever!) @kerry this one was nice to write. Mommy had suggested that it would be a good way of explaining to any reader that I am in a good, safe space now. It also means that there may be a couple of new people looking on the site here, as I also had to explain to our guests what was going on. I want to write up some of my fantasies, but I will keep it PG (to be honest, quite a few are PG anyway…but it may be interesting to see how people react to them…I mean, I am beginning to suspect that I am not as unique as I had feared I was!).

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Jul 30, 2021 at 8:40 AM
Content:

dwayne said:

so happy to hear that you are safe and with someone that will keep you safe do not know what epilogue means and looking it up on computer dont dumb it down much please do not make fun of me but guessing that word means this is true and what is real story of what happen

[End of quote]

Epilogue: (noun) a section or speech at the end of a book or play that serves as a comment on or a conclusion to what has happened.
"the meaning of the book's title is revealed in the epilogue".

I do think that I tried to meet the meaning of the word. This is separate to the main story, because it has happened years after the last chapter of Matching Mary. The last chapter was horrid, and left people thinking that I was still in a bad place. Especially because of all the sweet, supportive messages that I had been so fortunate to receive, from complete strangers (who I now view as friends, due to the special atmosphere that exists on this website), I felt a responsibility towards those kind people in case they were concerned for my safety. I did visit the very bottom of life after that experience, which very nearly finished my own life. So i wanted to place this quite separate, as in some ways it is not directly connected to where I left it…. There have been a lot of intervening years. I have actually been on this planet for 46 years (although I still am only 2 and a bit!). But in so many ways I am still matching Mary. I am now the recipient of the same unquestioning, undying, absolute love that Mary lived her short life receiving. The bond that existed between Suzanne and Mary is matched by the bond that now exists between Mommy and Me. So in that sense the meaning of the title is revealed in the epilogue. My life now is so like Mary’s; my Mommy is not expecting, nor wanting, me to ever grow up. There is also some more exciting news which I want to share with you all, but I can’t just yet.

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Jul 30, 2021 at 9:43 AM
Content: I am bursting inside to tell everyone, but I am not allowed to yet. Once I am allowed I will tell you all…

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Sep 28, 2021 at 8:47 AM
Content:

EpicOne1997 said:

Yeah I just read it as well. Very nicely written. I also felt immersed and could imagine being there. I appologize by not knowing.. is this fiction or your own personal experiences written out?

[End of quote]

This (and the main story, Matching Mary) are my personal experiences. i have always kept diaries and the main story was written from them. i was going to add some of my fantasies which stemmed from all that time too, but i wanted to keep the record as true as i possibly could, as a mark of respect for the other people in the story. Their own stories and history would have been lost, and something inside of me didn’t want that to happen, so i felt i needed to have a public record of their time on this planet. Also my fantasies are a bit too racy really for this site! i guess i have a filthy mind! This particular bit, this epilogue, was to reassure some nice people that i ‘met’ here, that i am in a good place now, in fact i have another bit to add to this too shortly.

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Sep 28, 2021 at 8:55 AM
Content:

RainbowConnection said:

I know I'm late (again), but holy crow this was beautiful to read. I'm not sure what words to say, except that I am so happy that you are in a good, safe place now, Ann. You and your Mommy have something very special, more special than most will ever know. Thank you for sharing; I mean it. Your words hold so much power in them, in ways I can't quite explain right now. Please take care, internet neighbor!

[End of quote]

Thank you. It is really uplifting to receive such praise for my writing attempts. i am in a wonderful, safe, happy place now, and i know i am incredibly fortunate to have Mommy in my life. Maybe that was another reason to write it…to let people, who might not be in a good place, that the bad times don’t have to define your life, as i was allowing mine to. i would not talk to anyone about the good times, but many people around me knew of at least some of the bad times, and i had allowed those bad events to be the only history that people knew. This process began by me reading bits of my diaries to my Mommy as i needed Her to know, to understand, what had shaped me. i became really sad, as i realised that the world would never know of the beauty and uniqueness of those two extinguished lives, unless i somehow managed to describe them.

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Sep 28, 2021 at 9:24 AM
Content: A bit more to add to this epilogue. Normally, Mommy is very protective about Her privacy, but She agreed to let me post this update, as it was significant to our story and it is sort of a continuation.

I wish I could bottle this happiness.

Mommy is very protective over Her privacy, but She did give me permission to post this update, as it has meant so much to me. i do understand that many people on this site are not necessarily in such a happy place; goodness knows i haven’t often experienced this before, but i wanted to share this positive story, in the hope that it might just bring a smile or two to people’s faces, and to share this incredible experience that i have been so fortunate to have. Hopefully too, it can show people that good things can happen. Sometimes i cannot believe my luck, only a few years ago i was desperately unhappy, to the extent i was suicidal. i felt, at that time, like i had nothing to live for, and no route out of the black hole that my life had become. Hang in there! Amazing things can, and do, happen, and there are some wonderful people in the World.

This last weekend was a long weekend in South Africa, as Friday was a public holiday, it was Heritage day, where the country is encouraged to come together and celebrate our diverse heritage. For us, it was the first time that all of Mommy’s immediate family had been able to get together since the start of the pandemic, and it ended up being a very special time, for all of us.

Mommy had invited her family to come and join us for the weekend, and fortunately both her son and daughter and their significant others were able to come any stay with us for the weekend. i was also sent to collect her mother from the old age home where she lives to spend the day with all of us. She didn’t stay overnight, as she sadly does suffer with a bit of dementia, and so it is easier on her if we keep to her routines. But she did recognise everyone, and clearly had a wonderful day. She was so talkative in the car on the trip back to her house, and her face was positively glowing. We had actually had a busy week, as we had been on the yacht at the beginning of the week, and so it felt like we had been trying to catch up those “lost” days all week. Mommy was particularly busy at work, so much of the preparation for the weekend fell to me. i was determined that we would have a good weekend, and tried to plan everything down to the finest detail, so each bedroom was made up with flowers in them, and i picked the flowers depending on the couple occupying the room. We planned for a typical South African braai or barbecue on the Saturday evening, and i tried to include a favourite dish for each person as far as i knew. We were also planning to be outside for much of the time in the garden, so i also wanted the garden to be looking good too…. My own biological family never really had any family get togethers like this, so i really tried hard to make it perfect for all Mommy’s family. Other than the doggies finding the garlic bread that i had made and feasting on that (don’t leave anything edible within the reach of doggies, if you plan on eating it yourself!), most of my planning paid off.

We had a wonderful mix of people. We had different genders, skin colours, nationalities, mother tongues, belief systems, and ages! Everyone was so happy to be able to see one another again, rather than relying on Skype conversations. The music was playing and everyone was eating, drinking, laughing and chatting. i felt i was rushing around like a dervish bringing out the different dishes that i had prepared, and making sure that everyone’s drink glass was never empty. i really get my pleasure at events like this in making sure that everyone else is happy. i don’t mean that as i sacrifice my own pleasure for the sake of theirs, but i don’t drink alcohol anymore, and i love cooking for people, (that and i am not too good at sitting still!) means i love jumping up and down getting food and drinks sorted out for everyone.

Mommy, as hostess, decided that She would make a speech, and thanked everyone for making time to travel to stay with us for the weekend, and to the newer members of her family, the significant others, who were willing to endure her slightly mad family! She was so thankful that we have all managed to make it through the pandemic this far relatively unscathed. At times it has been a real test for us all. She pointed out how scared She had been for my safety and also for her biological daughter as we both had been living quite close to some of the worst hit areas when there had been mass rioting. She had hoped that bringing me down to the Cape would have ensured my safety, but then i managed to get mugged in this neighbourhood, almost to prove that nowhere was really safe these days, and we all had to remain alert to our surroundings at all times. She told the family how we had spent a couple of days on a wonderful yacht, and described our dream of one day having our own boat, which might become our mobile home, but She would ensure that any boat would be big enough so we could continue to have family get togethers on board! She then went on to thank little me for doing all the work for the weekend, as She had been tied up at work. She went on to explain that She had found the person, in me, that She wants to grow old and grey with…laughing that She was not expecting to be a Mommy again at Her age! All Her family know about our relationship, and they have all individually accepted me into their family without any hesitation. That is really profound to me, as i have basically been disowned by my own biological family, but i also knew that y biological could never be as welcoming as my new, wonderful family. She explained that we have made a long term commitment to one another, and there is a planned celebration which has had to be postponed as we want to be properly clear of the pandemic and all the issues before that event. i don’t think this came as any real surprise to anyone there, as Mommy and i have been in this relationship for some time now, but this was the first time we had admitted to making it official. Of course, everyone raised their glasses to us, but then after stealing a kiss from Mommy, they all asked me to make a speech too, which was completely unexpected (and unwanted to be honest). To say i was lost for words would be an understatement! I don’t really like standing up in front of any group of people and speaking, but this was also so emotional for me. I stood and slowly made eye contact with each person around the fire, before admitting i didn’t know what to say, other than to thank them for welcoming me into their wonderful, special family…and that i loved Mommy dearly…and promptly burst into (happy) tears to their shouts of congratulations and laughter. Given our situation, we don’t believe in marriage per se, but, we do believe that there is something in making an public statement about a long term commitment to another person. Yes, it is an open relationship, but that really does not mean that we are not committed to the other person, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, the whole gambit. In fact, in my experience, for a polyamorous relationship to work there needs to be more trust and respect between individuals. For me, i firmly want to spend the rest of my days, growing old, disgracefully with this gorgeous, amazing, intelligent, lady. i wish i could have said that to my new family, that evening, but i do think they already know!

A bit later on in the evening Mommy saw that i was actually quite tired (as i get really tired, my CP becomes a bit more evident, and I get a bit clumsy and my balance goes off a bit), and so She asked me to stop spoiling Her children and i could let them get their own food and drinks for a bit. i grabbed a blanket and spread it over Mommy’s shoulders, before snuggling up under it next to Her. She asked me if i was wet, and needed changing, and i told i was only a little bit damp and i could last a bit longer. With that, She arranged the blanket over me so i was completely covered as i curled up with my head on Her lap, She then slid her hand up under my top to rub my back and to lightly drag Her nails across my skin. That is a very intimate action for me, as my back has many ugly operation scars, so few people have ever even seen it let alone rubbed their hands across the scars. But the operations have left some odd sensations as there are patches of skin that have no sensation at all, and other patches with reduced sensation, which makes the areas with normal sensation feel super sensitive, but Mommy is aware of that and the way She caresses my back is wonderful for me. i really was in a state of bliss…with a family who genuinely loved me, for who i am, warts, scars and all. They all know i am Mommy’s baby, and they all don’t just accept me, but love me, as i am able to make their mother happy and fulfilled. In return, i adore each one of them. i didn’t want to be anywhere else, with anyone else, i really entered a heightened state of happiness…it is hard to describe. i wasn’t asleep, but i also wasn’t fully awake, it was a bit like being on a good drug trip, but the ‘drug’ in my blood supply was love.

Eventually i sensed someone else sitting on the Hollywood seat, on the other side of Mommy; it was Her (biological) daughter. She asked where i had gone, and Mommy lifted the blanket slightly to show her where i was curled up. She explained that i was worn out, as we had had a busy week, and i had been doing so much preparation for this weekend, and that i was still recovering from the double whammy of being mugged and then getting COVID. They then each professed their love for me, and somehow my happiness went up even further. i didn’t want to respond or even move, for fear of breaking this spell, this magical feeling, but i just contentedly nuzzled on my pacifier and breathed in the warm perfumed air from Mommy’s body, listening to these two special people saying such sweet things about me. i must have eventually actually drifted off, as the next thing i remember was being gently lifted up, i began to move, not wanting Mommy to strain Herself trying to carry me, but instead i heard Her son’s voice, gently telling mouse (his name for me) not to worry, he was taking mouse to Mommy’s room.

i did manage to rouse myself once i had been left still wrapped in the blanket on Mommy’s bed, and a blearily made my way to clean my teeth. Mommy came into Her bathroom Herself, getting ready for bed, and commented on my soaked nappy hanging low between my legs, so She then followed me back into the bedroom with fresh nappies to change me. i still wasn’t fully awake but was happy just to lie back and let Mommy remove my wet nappy, and clean me up before putting a nice, soft, dry new nappy on me. i am always in a state of happiness when Mommy changes me, but i did admit that i hadn’t been asleep when She and Her daughter had been talking about me, earlier on the Hollywood seat. Mommy replied by telling me that she knew, as Mommy’s know everything. She kissed away more (happy) tears while asking me what had produced the tears this time. There was so much i wanted to explain to Her, about my undying love for her, my happiness at being accepted by Her family, my gratitude to Her for making sure i am safe and well…but, for the second time that night, i didn’t have the words, so i just whispered, “i love You, Mommy”.

i wish i could bottle this happiness. i wish i could share this feeling with so many people who have never had this feeling. It is the answer to world peace, to true enlightenment, and absolute contentment. i think it is the whole point of life itself. i never thought i would be in this situation…i am the luckiest person on this planet.

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Sep 28, 2021 at 4:59 PM
Content:

RainbowConnection said:

I haven't the words to confess how beautiful this is. In a way, you have bottled it and shared it with us, Ann. You've found what perhaps all humans ultimately search for in their short lives; you've found Home. And I can think of no other person who can articulate what that means as well as you can. I am only 19, I have not lived yet. I often find myself wishing I was nothing, because then nothing would matter. It wouldn't matter if I didn't have anybody. I'd just be free. But Home... I'm going to think about this today.

[End of quote]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Maybe it was you that i was writing this for? You are so right, at 19, you have so many Possibilities ahead of you. i do know the feelings of worthlessness and wanting to end my life, indeed i had two attempts to do so. Mommy came into my life with no announcement or warning. i felt at that time that i didn’t want anyone else in my life, and She knew nothing at all about AB’s at all. Her kinks were firmly in the BDSM area, which held no interest for me at that time. In fact, until quite recently, i really could not understand how any sort of pain could be associated with sexual desire or satisfaction. Mommy and i fit together so perfectly, in fact there are times when She knows me better than i know myself. If She says “try this, I think you might enjoy it”, then i am about to have my mind blown!! But then just simple things; we went for a walk with the doggies this afternoon, and just the simple act of walking hand-in-hand makes me feel so special, so fortunate. She makes me feel like such a happy, contented, baby in Her presence. Don’t ever give up hope; i do believe there is a home for everyone.

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Oct 21, 2021 at 3:22 PM
Content:

RainbowConnection said:

There is a saying, I think. It goes, "sometimes the person you really need is the one you think you didn't want." Maybe in this case, it's closer to "the person you need most is the one you can't even imagine." I can imagine giving up so easily. I keep trying to wager with the ocean, a trade, I say, but of course the ocean doesn't make any deals, not conditionally.

"No announcement or warning"... That's wonderful and very scary. We have so little control over life, really. The waves push back and forth, senselessly, on and on, casting you about without sight of dry land. Finding it seems so impossible. Like it's out of the realm of anything real.

But you know, stories like yours make me want to try. It might be fleeting, but it's there. Ah, if only I knew what I was doing. I'm told to take it one day at a time... that's difficult. "Home" is a tricky word, as is "hope." How interesting, that they are only one letter off from one another.

[End of quote]

It is odd that you use oceans and sailing in your own analogy. Because of our long term plans, i am learning how to sail, and have been out recently on some quite large racing yachts. Well, i say large, but they only really feel big in port, once out off shore, they can feel quite small and fragile in open water. But, whereas in the past i would have just bobbed up and down in the waves, being pushed this way and that by external forces, the wind and the tides, i am (slowly) learning that you can steer a course. Yes, the waves and the wind and the current are all still there, and you can’t change them, but you can use them, and aim for a destination. There is still much to do; i am still unemployed, Covid is ever present across the world, and particularly South Africa. There are many nasty people in the world who will never accept any measure of alternative lifestyle. Steer clear of those people.