Arans Abrogation (Babyfur 54000 words) -- (Author) Vexxus

[llsadmin]

############################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################
Author: Vexxus
Timestamp: Jul 3, 2014 at 12:30 AM
Content: Aran's Abrogation
A story by Vexxus Urowf

Thanks to Niniju and WolvineDragon of SoFurry for proofreading the main story
Thanks to Draugr for the final proofreading
Special thanks to Kit Cameron for writing “Restart, Inc.”
Very special thanks to Luna Kiva of SoFurry for drawing all the illustrations

Note: the illustrations will not be posted here. A few of them are available through my SoFurry page, but most are reserved for the e-book. Send me a personal message if you're interested in buying it; it costs only $11, of which 20% will go to Luna. Oh, and I only voted in the poll so I can immediately see the results.

I. Chasing shadows

Aran. A young wolf, thrown into a world of grown-up people, while he was not fully grown up himself. He liked to think of himself as a strong, independent young adult, but never considered the possibility that he might have left a part of himself at home when he moved out of his parents’ house.
He was rudely woken up on that special Thursday by the sound of his ringing phone. Without bothering to open his eyes or sit up, he blindly grabbed his phone from his nightstand and answered the call.
“You’ve got Aran, who’s this?” he initiated, still only half awake.
“Bro, it’s me,” a familiar ruffian voice sounded, “I’m in trouble.”
“Mike? What happened?” the wolf replied agitated.
Now fully awake, he sat up straight, eager to find out what the bear had gotten himself into.
“You know that job I did last week with Chris?”
“Of course, you’ve been bragging for the entire day after about how you got away clean,” Aran scoffed.
“Well, apparently, we didn’t. Last night, the cops got Chris and they cut him a deal.”
'Chris, obviously. Call me a racist, but his species portrayed his personality,' Aran thought.
“Let me guess, decreased punishment if he gave up his accomplice?”
“Swing and hit, bro.”
“So he betrayed you? I know the guy’s a weasel, but now he’s a rat as well?”
“Can’t be helped, Aran.”
“Wait, speaking of deals, you were going to buy-” Aran started, but his friend cut him off.
“Shut it, bro. Don’t get me into more trouble than I’m already in. I’ll be off the streets for at least a couple of months. Go there yourself if you really need to.”
Before the wolf could respond, Mike ended the conversation. With his phone still his hand, he idly sat on his bed for a while, trying to make sense of the conversation he had just had. His best friend was in jail, betrayed by one of their associates, and he had to make a deal with someone only Mike knew.
Still, he had little choice. He was not addicted to the stuff, but he did not want to live without his daily dose of ursaurine. A synthetic drug, an enjoyable combination hallucinating relaxation on short terms, with a side effect comparable to the main use of light steroids.
Not that Aran was the bodybuilding type, but with his five-foot-something frame, he was a bit of an underdog. Some considered him a runt, since he was a both small and black. Black wolves are a fairly rare subspecies, only born from two wolves that both carry a recessive gene.
So in all this, to compensate for his small frame and the general prejudices that came with it, he used ursaurine. Not only did he greatly enjoy the near-immediate effect that caused a hallucinating trance, he also noticed that it took him much less effort to train his muscles.

Aran halted his train of thought and got up from his bed. Mike and he both kept a small notebook in a hollow under one of the floor planks of our small house for cases of emergency. The notebooks contained information about people to contact, places to flee to and people to avoid should certain things happen.
It also contained a few pre-scripted testimonies they would recite to the police in case any of them was caught and confronted about some crime they had committed. Flipping through the little book, the wolf looked for the page that contained phone numbers and names in an encrypted notation. Mike had developed that notation during high school and although it was fairly easy to decode, one needed the key to crack it as there were a few different ways to translate the words.
Some of it rested on inside jokes between the two buddies, which were the result of six years of friendship. Although, friendship, it was more about breaking rules and covering up for each other. Supposedly, every friendship is based on a unique principle.
Soon he found the name and the phone number of the person he needed to contact. The wolf grabbed his phone from his bed and dialed the number. It took a while, but eventually, someone answered the call.
“Mason. What do you want?” a somewhat rude voice asked.
“I want what you are going to sell to Mike tonight,” Aran answered, trying not to let his slight anxiety seep through.
“Where’d you get this number?”
“I’m a friend of Mike’s, but he got himself caught by the cops.”
A short silence followed.
“All right. Meet me behind Dixon’s Diner at eleven. Come alone, come unarmed.”

Before the wolf could respond, ‘Mason’ cut the connection. All he could do was wait for the evening to come, so he wasted his daytime like he usually did. Eventually, the time had come for Aran to leave. He put on his sturdy boots and his long, dark grey coat. The benefit of the coat was not only its color and the warmth it supplied, but also that it mostly concealed Aran’s tail and therefore masked an important part of his body language.
He reached the alley behind Dixon’s a good ten minutes before the deal. Mike had taught him that it is best to scout the place where you are going to meet with someone, in case something goes bad. That way, one knows where the escape routes are and where one could possibly hide.
In the dark area between two streetlights, he waited for Mason to show up. As if it was a scripted scene from a movie, two tigers dressed in dark coats appeared from around the corner. A nearby tower bell boomed its message: eleven o’clock.
“You Aran?” the taller one asked with a rough voice.
“Depends,” the wolf bit back, “Are you Mason?”
“That depends on whether you can pay me,” he answered.
They were now in front of the wolf, only a few feet away.
“Search him,” Mason commanded his partner.
Aran put his hands up and let the tiger search him for weapons.
“You alone?”
He nodded.
“You got what I want?” Aran asked, not wanting to be there any longer than necessary.
“Maybe, maybe not. You see, I don’t know you, and I don’t like you. One day, my buyer is arrested and the next day, some weirdo I have never even heard of shows up, claiming to be a friend of my buyer. Don’t you think that’s at least a little fishy?”
“As long as you get your money, do you even care?” the wolf countered.
Mason got close to Aran, his muzzle right in front of the wolf’s, staring in his eyes.
“I think I know what’s going on here. Mike got himself caught and now he’s being a rat to wiggle out of whatever trouble he’s in. How can you prove you’re not some undercover cop?”
“I can’t,” Aran stated bluntly.
Mason looked at his partner.
“We figured as much. Get lost,” Mason spat at the wolf, then turned around to leave.
“You can’t do this, man! I need that stuff!”
“Listen, punk,” the other tiger said, “Mason is the kind of guy that does whatever he damn well pleases. Now get lost.”
“What’s the problem? Why don’t you want to deal?”
“There is no deal, blackie,” Mason said, “I don’t deal with people I don’t trust.”
“And since you have such a hard time understanding that, we’ll make sure that you will,” his partner added.
Before the wolf could even grasp half of the meaning of that comment, Mason landed his fist on the side of Aran’s muzzle. He wanted to run, but Mason’s his partner kicked him in the knee and prevented his escape. Aran’s body hit the hard cobblestone surface of the pavement, but that was not enough for the tigers.
On the contrary. They moved in and repeatedly kicked the small wolf in the chest and back, until Aran stopped moving. Mason finished it off with one more stomp against the wolf’s head, leaving their victim battered and dazed as they disappeared in the darkness of the night into the direction from which they had appeared.
The wolf tried to get back on his paws, or at least to sit up, but his body refused. The tigers had dealt some serious pain, turning Aran into a sad little heap of whimpering wolf. From the other side, a stranger appeared and approached the wolf. Although it was quite dark, Aran could make up that the figure was a canine, probably some kind of dog.
“Need some help?” the stranger asked.
“Yeah… I guess I do,” Aran replied with a weak voice, “You’re not one of Mason’s guys, are you?”
The stranger did not respond, but extended his right arm instead. Aran accepted the invitation and took hold of the hand as firmly as he could. As soon as the stranger had pulled him up, the wolf felt a small prick in his upper arm.
He blinked in an attempt to focus his vision and saw that the dog had stuck a pen with a needle in his arm.
“Night-night,” the stranger whispered.
Somewhat baffled by the unusual comment, Aran tried to discern what the dog meant. He never reached the answer, as his brain agreed with his body that it was time to close his eyes and drift off to sleep.

II. Conversation All-Stars

When Aran woke up again, he felt mangled. His chest hurt all over and his head was pounding slightly. It took a while before he regained his senses, only to conclude that he was wearing a light blue nylon five-point harness, strapped to the chair he was sitting on. Looking down, he also noticed that the chair was bolted to the floor, so even though he could freely move his arms, Aran could not get off the chair. In addition, his coat was nowhere to be found, just like his shoes.
The chair was located next to a table, facing another chair that had been placed straight across. Not counting the aforementioned furniture, the room was empty, save for the single fluorescent light straight above the table. It was a room one would typically see in a movie or a television series about detectives.
Most of his body felt numb, except for those places where he had been hit by tiger paws somewhere in the recent past. As the wolf was trying to get his head straight, he heard a door open and close behind him, followed by a few pawsteps.
A Doberman in his late thirties had entered the room and sat down on the empty chair, throwing down a file on the table as he turned the chair around so the back was facing the table. The dog opened the file and took the first page out, along with some items he had taken from Aran’s wallet. He was wearing a black leather jacket over a khaki shirt and dark green cargo pants, but his clothes did not manage to fully conceal his muscular body. Aran knew better than to be intimidated merely by someone’s looks, though.
“Well, well, what have we here,” the dog broke the somewhat awkward silence.
“You’re… the guy from yesterday...” Aran muttered.
“I see, you’re the observant type.”
“Who are you? What do you want from me?”
The dog leaned over to Aran.
“Those two questions are probably the most clichéd to ask in a situation like this. Ironically, the answers to either of them won’t get you anywhere.”
“I think you’re wrong. From my point of view, you could be one of Mason’s guys, or you could be a cop that’s working on some lead Chris has given you in order to catch me for anything you’d like. But guess what? I’ve got the right to remain silent!”
“Pipe down, Ahran,” the dog tried, but Aran interfered.
“Whoever you are, try to get my name right for starters. It’s ‘Aran’, as in long ‘ah’, rolling ‘r’, short ‘an’, with emphasis on the first ‘a’. It’s not that hard, is it?”
The dog leaned back and waited for a few seconds.
“Are you done?”
Aran did not respond.
“Listen, this is how we’re going to do this. I’m going to ask you some questions and you’re going to answer them. I know your head might be a little foggy, but that’s because of the painkiller we gave you. I want you to answer my questions in honesty and I expect you to refrain from trying to be the smart guy. As you have probably noticed, I can walk out anytime I like, while you look like you’re going to be strapped to a chair for some time. That is, unless you be good and cooperate, got it?”
The wolf nodded.
“So your name is Aran. To make sure we’ve got the right person, state your age and species.”
“I turned twenty last week and I’m a black wolf – wait, you can see that, can’t you?”
“I can, but the microphone recording this conversation cannot. And remember what I said about trying to be smart? Not to mention about who’s asking the questions.”
“I do,” the wolf replied with a tone of defeat, staring at his paws.
“Look at me, when I’m talking to you, Aran,” the Doberman demanded.
Aran complied reluctantly, subconsciously tucking his tail between his legs.
“For the past three years or so, you have been living with a certain Mike, a brown bear with which you’ve committed various crimes. These crimes are for example, but not limited to, car theft, breaking and entering, and burglary, is that correct?”
“Wait, what is this about?”
“Answer the question, Aran,” the dog demanded.
“Not until you explain why you’re doing this. I want to know who I’m talking to,” Aran replied resolute.
“You’ve got quite the attitude there, don’t you think? Fine then, my name is Kaiser. I’m asking these questions to check whether my information is correct. For some time, I’ve been thoroughly investigating you. You probably wonder how long I have shadowed you and I can tell you the answer: longer than you’d like me to admit. See how the answers to those questions got you virtually nowhere?”
Aran gulped.
“Anyway, I’m not working for some kind of secret government agency and I’m not here to put you in jail. If I were, you would have been properly arrested and I can assure you that I know enough about your small crimes to have you put away for quite a few months. But, as I noted earlier, that is not the goal of this conversation. Are you content?”
“Somewhat,” Aran responded after a few seconds.
“Good. Continuing where we left off: have you lived with a bear named Mike and committed various crimes with him?”
The wolf looked down again.
“Yes…”
“Eyes, Aran, they’re up here,” the Doberman injected.
Not wanting to cause unnecessary trouble, Aran raised his head.
“Your parents divorced when you were fifteen years old and you moved out at age seventeen, correct?”
Aran nodded.
“Please answer my question with an actual statement. Microphones cannot record gestures,” the Doberman commented plainly.
“Sorry. Yes, that’s correct.”
The wolf was starting to feel uncomfortable. Not only did he lack any clue of the true underlying intention of the conversation, he also felt like the pain in his chest and back was returning. He groaned, partly because of the pain, but mostly because he suspected that the increasing pain meant that the painkiller was wearing off.
“Contrary to what you’re probably thinking right now, I’m not going to hurt you. If I wanted to, I would not have given you a painkiller, would I?”
“Probably not,” the wolf replied, slightly confused, his tail still between his legs.
“Rhetorical question. Anyway, you’d better be ready for the harder questions. Are you content with your present life?”
“I am.”
“Really? I mean, obviously not counting your current situation, I recall very clearly that your best friend is in jail, betrayed by his partner. They could turn on you as well and, worst of all, your drug deal didn’t quite turn out the way you liked, correct?”
The wolf wanted to nod again, but quickly remembered the microphone and responded with another plain ‘yes’.
“So, let me rephrase: are you currently happy?”
Aran was now certain that the painkiller was wearing off. His head had started to pound again, which was not only uncomfortable, but also greatly distracting his already somewhat confused mind.
“I’ve had far worse, so yeah, I’ve managed to get what I want. Aside from the drugs, that is.”
Kaiser paused for a short while.
“Interesting. According to your mother, you were anything but happy when you moved out. Judging by the friends you’ve made, the crimes you committed and the drugs you take, I think you’re lying. Note that I don’t even take your time in middle school in consideration, as that is a story of its own. So is your behavior on your high school, for that matter,” the dog remarked with a sharp tone.
“B-but…” the wolf stammered, trying to find words to throw back at the Doberman.
A short silence followed.
“What’s the matter, Aran? Lost your voice?”
“No! What do you want?” The wolf suddenly bit back.
Kaiser grinned.
“You still haven’t caught up with the fact that I’m the one that asks the questions. My goodness, you’re going to be a piece of work.”
“Work?”
“See what you just did? Anyway, work, yes. Believe it or not, I got you out of that alley because I want to help you.”
“Help me? But I don’t need any help!” Aran said firmly, trying to physically emphasize what he said, but being held back by the harness. The nylon straps of the garment did not stretch whatsoever, causing the wolf to cringe from the pain he now fully felt again. Kaiser just sat there, looking at the bruised wolf with a blank expression, waiting for Aran to recover.
“Just let me go! I don’t need your help! I’ll be fine!”
“I don’t think so, Aran. By the way, I can clearly recall you admitting to needing help,” the Doberman commented with a grin.
“But when? I only met you yesterday and we said nothing!”
“Really?” Kaiser replied calmly, producing a voice recorder from the inside pocket of his jacket, “That’s not how I recall it.”
The dog put the device on the table, close enough to Aran to touch it.
“Go on, press the ‘play’ button,” Kaiser invited.
The wolf reached out to the voice recorder, letting out a groan. His shoulder hurt, but that was of lesser concern. He had to know what Kaiser had recorded. Did they have a conversation earlier which Aran could not remember?
Curiosity eventually won over hesitancy and Aran pressed the button. It took a few seconds before he heard anything, but he was startled by Kaiser’s voice.

“Need some help?”
“Yeah… I guess I do… You’re not one of Mason’s guys, are you?”

Kaiser hit the ‘stop’ button and put the voice recorder back in his pocket.
“As you heard, you admitted to needing help.”
“But that was yesterday! I needed help getting back on my paws!”
“Believe me, getting on your paws is not the only thing you need help with.”
“I don’t need your help!” the wolf insisted.
The Doberman shook his head.
“I’ve observed enough in this conversation alone to say that you clearly could use our help. Besides, you admitted to needing help when I personally asked if you needed any,” he said, putting the paper and the other items back in the file. “Legally, this is a consensual agreement, although I’m fairly sure you’ll disagree.”
“You bet I do!” the wolf bit back, not caring about the pain the harness caused him anymore.
“Too bad for you. I’ve got all the answers I want, so that concludes today’s meeting. By the way, Aran? It says ‘gullible’ on the ceiling,” Kaiser said, pointing upwards with his index finger.
The wolf looked up. Instead of reading the word ‘gullible’, he looked straight into the fluorescent light. With his eyes slightly blinded and his mind wandering to find the meaning behind the strange comment, he did not notice that Kaiser had stuck a needle in him again. Given, the Doberman had targeted his neck instead of his arm this time, but the effect was generally the same.
“Night-night, Aran,” Kaiser said with a chuckle.
‘This is getting repetitive,’ was the last thing on Aran’s mind.

III. With eyes wide open

Aran awoke groggily on what he estimated to be the next morning, although he felt tired, like he had not slept at all. His chest still felt sensitive, but did not hurt as much as before. Additionally, he noticed that he was no longer wearing the nylon harness. Instead, his body appeared to be fully covered by a piece of fleece clothing. Even his hands and paws were encased in the soft fabric. The only limbs that were left out were his head and tail.
As the black wolf tried to pull his mind out of the world of the sleeping, he noticed that it was pitch-black around him. No, wait, it was not dark, he was blindfolded! Furthermore, there was something in his mouth, something rubbery that connected to the small yet hard surface which gently pressed against his muzzle.
He tried to spit it out, but the object refused to budge. With a little effort, Aran explored the strange item that did not appear to show any interest in moving out of his mouth, only to conclude that it was… a pacifier? Why was there a pacifier in his mouth? And why was he blindfolded?
Further fumbling around showed that the pacifier was held in his muzzle by a small harness that probably closed at the back of his head. Removing either the harness or the blindfold proved to be impossible, as the fabric around Aran’s hands was too thick and did not supply any grip at all.
The wolf groped around, trying to find anything that could tell him where he was. To his left, he found a series of sturdy bars that were far enough apart to put his hands through, yet too close to one another to allow his entire body to pass. Bars? Did Kaiser put him in a cage?
On the other side, his hands struck something soft and… furry? At first thought, Aran expected it to be another person, so he held his breath. Observing nothing but complete silence, he touched the soft object again and felt around. It definitely had the shape of a dog, although it was probably feral. The dog did not move and neither did it emit body heat.
With both of his hands, Aran tried to lift the object, concluding that it was rather light. He then decided to sniff around, only to conclude that the dog was not really a dog, but rather… a toy? What was going on here? First a blindfold and a pacifier, now a stuffed dog? What did Kaiser do to him? Why did the Doberman keep him captive? Why him, of all people?
Aran sniffed the air once again. There were not many scents to discover, but he did pick up the trace of another person, most certainly canine and possibly female. He failed to identify any of the other minor scents he could smell, but moreover, Kaiser’s scent was not among them.
Feeling stiff from lying on his back, Aran turned to his side towards the stuffed dog. During this shifting, the wolf noticed something that threw him off balance even more. There was something unusual touching the base of his tail.
As well as he might, Aran fumbled around his tail, but yet again, his fingers could not find any grip. However, his suspicion was raised as he held his breath in suspense. Still groping his waist, he suddenly heard a soft crinkly sound, after which he discovered that there was a relatively thick layer of clothing around his waist.
He summed up the deviations once more: blindfold, pacifier, stuffed dog, bars, thick clothing. ‘No, not clothing’, the wolf thought. The blindfold did not make sense, but the bars did. Whether they belonged to a cage or a crib did not matter. Kaiser obviously wanted him to stay where he was. The thick clothing was not underwear, but rather a diaper.
Was Kaiser a psychopath? There had to be a reason why he was clothed this way. No person in his right mind would dress a twenty-year-old like he was… a cub? ‘When Mike asked me what I wanted for my twentieth birthday, this was not what I had in mind’, Aran thought.
More and more questions tried to hijack the wolf’s train of thought, and unfortunately, with success. The questions followed each other rapidly, but the answers held off and as far as there were any, they were only fragments. Aran was falling into an anxiety attack, but since he had never experienced anything like that before, he had no clue of what was happening to him.
Little did he know that anxiety attacks were actually a common symptom of withdrawal from ursaurine. He had used the drug for only a couple of weeks, but for the effect to last, one had to administer a dose at least once every forty-eight hours. It had been close to three days since the last time Aran had ingested his last pill.
With his tail between his legs and ears folded against the back of his head, Aran instinctively curled up, trying to make himself as small as possible. In his mind, it made perfect sense that he could evade or escape from whatever scared him, but it obviously did not. He whimpered, terrified of something threatening that was not actually there.
Since the wolf was blindfolded, he did not know that there was a baby monitor in the room, connected to a portable receiver. Said receiver was carried by a female Border Collie, whom immediately responded to the scared wolf’s whimpering. After all, this was an indication that the wolf was awake.
The black wolf was too far gone to hear the pawsteps on the stairs, produced by the collie hurrying towards him. Neither did he pick up the sound of a door being opened and closed again. The collie quickly turned the baby monitor off, not wanting to hear herself in stereo.
She then turned to the wolf in his crib, whom looked like he could start thrashing any moment. The collie unlocked the side of the crib and lowered it, so she could pet Aran on his head.
“There, there,” she said with a warm voice, gently ruffling the wolf’s headfur.
The sudden input of sound caught Aran’s attention, although it did not calm his anxiety.
“Kathfew?” he managed to get past the pacifier, attempting to call out Kaiser’s name.
“Don’t be afraid, Aran,” the collie replied, ignoring the wolf’s question, “I’m right here for you.”

IV. Breaking and entering

Seeing that the wolf was still terrified, the Collie grabbed him under his arms and knees, lifted him from the mattress and cradled him like one would carry an infant. She walked a few steps and then sat down, with the wolf laying on her lap.
“It’s okay, little one. I know it must be scary, waking up in a new environment, unable to see anything,” the Collie said.
Aran nodded, not knowing whether that would make a difference. He was starting to calm down now as the female kept petting his head.
“Don’t worry, your eyes will open soon enough,” the big dog said, only further puzzling Aran.
“You must have a lot of questions, but I cannot answer them. Not right now, that is.”
‘Yeah, as if I can even ask them with this thing in my muzzle’, Aran thought.
“Eventually, all will be revealed, but for now, try to relax. Everything will be easier if you just go with the flow. It’s okay to be afraid, I understand that, but you can trust me, okay?”
Instinctively, Aran nodded, although he very much distrusted the female. Was she with Kaiser? What were his intentions and what was her role in this? As the questions rose again, the wolf grew restless. The collie picked up on that and sat Aran up to embrace him.
“No, no, there’s no reason for all that, little one. I’ll take good care of you, don’t worry. Let it go, pup,” she cooed.
Aran took a deep breath, as much as the pacifier allowed him, and told himself to calm down again. Panicking never solved any problem, so he tried to stay at ease. He did not trust the female at all, but for the sake of his own sanity, he estimated ‘staying calm’ to be essential.
“Are you thirsty, Aran?” the female asked when she let him go.
The wolf nodded and felt how the dog picked him up again.
“I’ll go get you something to drink,” she said, putting the wolf back on his mattress, “but I can’t leave you out of your crib. Since your eyes are still closed, you might hurt yourself.”
‘My eyes aren’t closed, moron. You blindfolded me,’ Aran thought as he heard the side of the crib slide up again, followed by the sounds of the female leaving the room.
A little while later, she re-entered the room and the wolf was taken out of his crib again. The collie carried him to approximately the same spot and let him lay on her lap again. She supported his upper body with one arm, while she unlocked the pacifier harness with the other.
Before Aran could say anything, the gag was taken out and swapped for a somewhat smaller nipple. It did not take the wolf long to understand that the latter nipple was in fact connected to a bottle. He tried to spit the nipple out, but the female applied some pressure on the bottle, rendering Aran’s attempts useless.
“Don’t fuss, pup. It’s good for you. Come on, have a taste.”
Figuring that there was no other viable option, the wolf hesitantly started sucking the nipple. The lukewarm milk-like liquid flowed out and touched Aran’s tongue. In contrast to his expectation, whatever it was tasted not that bad at all. The taste had something of actual milk, but it appeared to sweeter.
Being thirstier than he estimated, Aran continued drinking from the bottle in a steady pace. Before he knew, the bottle was empty and he was no longer drawing in any milk. The female swapped the bottle back for the pacifier and strapped it at the back of his head again.
“Good boy, you drank it all,” the female complemented.
The wolf yawned.
“You’re still sleepy, aren’t you?”
Aran nodded with a sheepish smile. The milk had taken his thirst and with it some of the worries about his future on the short term. The collie got on her paws and carried Aran back to the crib. Another caress over his head and the side of the crib was raised and locked again.
“Have a nice nap, Aran. Don’t be too shy to cuddle with the nice plush husky. He’s right next to you, if you hadn’t noticed yet.”
She switched the baby monitor back on.
“Now be good and sleep some more. If you need me, just call out and I’ll be there, okay?”
‘Call out? How am I going to call out to you with this oversized pacifier in my muzzle? Besides, I don’t even know who you are!’ Aran thought.
Not waiting for an answer, the collie had slipped out of the room, closing the door behind her. Whether Aran was still tired or there was something in the milk, he could not figure it out. On the other hand, it did not matter either. His mind soon fell back into a deep sleep.

Aran’s peace was, however, rudely interrupted by a rather serious case of digestion. Still half asleep, he felt slight cramps in his bowels as they rumbled. Part of him knew what event would soon occur, while another part tried to deny it.
As the pressure increased, so did Aran’s discomfort. It got to a point where it became actually painful to hold back whatever was about to leave his body through the back door. The wolf whimpered, not just because his intestines hurt, but mainly because he knew that he was going to mess his diaper.
In a desperate attempt to gain at least a little comfort, Aran grabbed the fluffy plush husky that had been waiting for him to do just that. Embracing the plushie with both hands, Aran laid on his side, curled up, trying his best to hold back the inevitable.
Just before the strain became unbearable and the wolf finally gave in, the collie had entered the room again. She had, of course, picked up Aran’s whimpering through the baby monitor and went to check on her charge.
Like popping a cork from a bottle of champagne, the wolf surrendered to the force of nature. The soft, warm mess left his bowels and found its way into the seat of his diaper. To Aran’s great surprise, his bladder thought it would be a good idea to chime in and empty itself as well.
When he appeared to be done, the wolf heard the side of the crib being unlocked again.
“There, there. Is my poor little puppy a little stinky?”
Realizing that the female had been there and witnessed everything was the last drop for Aran. The embarrassment was too much for him and he burst out in tears, clutching the stuffed husky as if the toy could relieve his suffering.

V. Wash away what I've done

Not waiting for Aran to calm down, the collie unlocked the side of the crib and lifted the wolf from the mattress. She carried him out of the room and into to the hallway, then through another open door into a hollow-sounding room. There, she put him down on a changing pad. The room felt warmer than the one with the crib in it.
“Aran?”
His ears perked up, still sobbing.
“I’m going to clean you up, but I need you to be brave and let go of your plushie. Can you do that for me?”
Suddenly, the wolf snapped back to reality. He was a twenty years old canine, seeking comfort in a plushie after soiling the diaper someone put him in. He did not need any of this, and yet it was forced upon him. Aran released his grip on the stuffed husky, causing it to fall out of his hands and land on the floor. His tail moved away from between his legs, where it had been tucked until then.
The female unzipped Aran’s sleeper and took it off him. However, during this process, the wolf was moved around quite a bit. Since he laid on his back, this consequently squished the content of his diaper, making the wolf feel even filthier.
He no longer cried, not even when the female took his diaper off and wiped his bottom clean. In retrospect, Aran suspected that he just shut the outside world away, like he did when he was bullied.
“There, that’s better. I assume you didn’t like any of that, did you?” the female asked with a gentle voice.
Aran shook his head.
“How about a nice bath? It’ll help you feel better.”
Not waiting for an answer, the female walked over to the other side of the room and turned a water tap on.
“This will only take a minute or two, but don’t worry, I’ll put you in so you won’t get as cold.”
Again, completely ignoring any input the wolf might or might not provide, the female lifted Aran from the changing pad and put him in the bathtub. The water level was still rather low, but the wolf experienced its warmth as savory.
“I think your pacifier is a bit redundant now. I’ll take it out, but only if you promise to keep your muzzle shut. Can you do that for me?”
The wolf hesitated for a few seconds, but then nodded. The female unbuckled the pacifier harness and took the nipple from Aran’s muzzle. He decided to keep his promise and remained silent, despite all his questions. With the grotesque rubber nipple gone, Aran finally had the freedom to move his tongue again.
“I’m actually surprised that you’re so docile,” the collie said, “Kaiser said that you put up quite the verbal resistance in your first interview.”
Aran turned his head to the female with a sharp move. She knew about Kaiser! Wait, ‘first interview’? Did that mean there would be more where that came from? The wolf shook his head. No, no more. He did not want to talk to the Doberman again, at least not if that meant being tied to a chair again.
“That’s an observation, not an invitation, by the way,” she continued as she shut the water off.
The wolf then felt her hands move through his fur. ‘Shampoo’, he thought. The collie continued to lather Aran, humming a playful tune in the meantime.
“Aran? I’m going to remove your blindfold, but I want you to keep your eyes closed so the soap won’t sting, okay? I’ll let you know when you can open them again.”
He nodded and the collie fumbled at the back of his head, undoing the blindfold. Underneath, Aran obediently kept his eyes closed and allowed the female to lather his head. When she was done, the collie used a showerhead to rinse the shampoo out of Aran’s fur.
She subsequently turned the water back off again and pulled the plug. As the water drained, the wolf wondered what would happen next. He did not get very long to think about that, as his train of thought was derailed by the feeling of a fluffy towel being wrapped around his upper body.
Now almost all of the water was drained and the female lifted Aran and put him back on the changing pad again. She sat him on the edge of the pad, his feet dangling down. The wolf waited in anticipation as the female took both of his hands in hers.
“I hope that you understand that I’m not going to bathe you every time you mess yourself. I’ll always clean you up, tough. You can open your eyes now, by the way.”
The wolf did as he was asked and blinked a few times. In front of him was a six foot tall robust looking female border collie, probably in her early thirties. She wore a brown apron over an emerald green skirt that reached to just below her knees.
“Welcome to your new life, Aran. My name is Jennifer, and I’ll take care of you. You can call me ‘mommy’ if you like, but it’s okay if you address me by my first name.”
Aran tilted his head. “Mommy? Why should I call you that? I already have a mother and I don’t feel the slightest need for one.”
Jennifer smiled.
“That’s not what you said when you moved out, was it?”

“Aran, what has gotten into you?” the timber wolf asked.
“Me? I’m not the cause of the problem here!” the black wolf shouted back to the other end of the hall, “You’re the one that disowned me! You let me down every time I needed you! You said you stopped loving me, so you would care less whenever that bastard beat the living hell out of me! I owe you nothing!”
The timber wolf was visibly taken aback.
“Young man, that’s not how you talk to your mother!” she said, recollecting herself.
The black wolf inhaled sharply through his nose, swinging the large duffel bag over his shoulder.
“I have no mother,” he said, turning his back on the timber wolf.
He slammed the front door behind him as he left the house, never to return again.

It was as if the slamming door in Aran’s flashback shook him up and brought him back to the present.
“How would you know?” he countered.
“Pup, I know much more about you than you could imagine,” she smiled.
“Pup? I’m not your puppy! First of all, young wolves are cubs and second, what is all this? Why are you treating me like this? I’m twenty years old, I can take care of myself!”
Aran hoped to intimidate the collie, in an attempt to make her answer some of his questions. However, all he got in return was a stern look.
“Listen, little one, this is how it works: for starters, I don’t want you to raise your voice to me again. If you do so anyway, I will have to reprimand you. I don’t like to do that, but I won’t hesitate to do so if you require correction.”
The wolf remained silent, thrown off balance by Jennifer’s unimpressed attitude.
“Furthermore, there is literally no valid reason why you should doubt me. I’m here to act as your caregiver because you clearly need one, and I’m not referring merely to physical need.”
“But I don’t-” Aran started, but the collie cut him off by putting her index finger on his muzzle.
“Hush, puppy. You forget that, despite how tough you might consider yourself to have been in you old life, I'm not the one that's sitting naked on a changing pad.”
This comment threw the wolf even further off balance. The collie did not appear to be easy to play.
“So, are you going to allow me to redress you, or are you going to fuss?”


############################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################
Author: Vexxus
Timestamp: Jul 5, 2014 at 8:43 PM
Content: Since some people appear to be interested, I will post the rest of the story here. I'll also put the third installment of my MonoChronicles series on this forum. FYI, the first part is "True Colors" and the second one is "Milo's Midwinter". You can find the links to those stories in my signature.

starpup said:

Im loving this story I definitely want to continue reading this!
As for your e-book where is it available? I would enjoy it more with the illustrations! ^.^

[End of quote]

Please send me a personal message, we'll take it from there. For everyone else, the e-book contains 18 hand-drawn images by my mommy Luna, as well as a 6000-word epilogue that'll give closure on some questions the main story leaves open.

- - - END OF COMMENT - - -

VI. That's the question

Aran sighed, realizing that he could not win the argument. On the other paw, there were different shades of losing.
“I won’t fuss, but please answer one question,” he said resolutely.
“Alright, but I’ll dress you first,” she negotiated.
‘Darn, she got me again,’ the wolf thought, laying down on his back.
“Now show me a happy little wolfie again, okay?” she said as she started tickling Aran.
It did not take long for the wolf to burst out in laughter, no matter how hard he tried to resist. Suddenly, Jennifer stopped tickling, allowing Aran to catch his breath.
“I probably shouldn’t do this while you’re not wearing a diaper. You might wet yourself!” she thought aloud.
Before Aran could protest, the collie surprised him by grabbing his ankles. He tried to squirm, but her grip was too tight. Jennifer pulled his ankles, raising his bottom, and put a fresh diaper under his bottom.
After threading his tail through the hole, it took only a few swift moves to tape the diaper up. It was not until his caregiver was finished that Aran noticed the childish prints on his infantile garment. Aran opened his mouth to ask why she put him in this kind of diaper, but shut it again a split second later.
He realized that asking such a question would waste his opportunity, so instead, he waited as patiently as he could for Jennifer to finish dressing him. Making himself believe that it would reduce the embarrassment, he closed his eyes and let the collie dress him up.
When she declared they were done, Aran blinked and looked at his new attire. Jennifer had dressed him in a navy blue pair of shorts and a red t-shirt. The latter had an image of a black Labrador puppy on it, with the letters “KODY” printed below in capitals. Furthermore, the t-shirt was too short to hide the waistband of Aran’s diaper.
“Now, I believe you wanted to ask me something?” Jennifer invited as she helped him sit up.
“Yush. What are you and Kaiser doing to me?”
“I’ll try to answer your question as much as I’m allowed to tell. Kaiser and I are here to help you, even though the Doberman might seem intimidating to you at first. There are more people in on this, but they’re irrelevant to you for now. You’ll mainly get to spend time with me, since I’m your caregiver.”
“Well, that is what I meant to ask. How is being my caregiver going to help me?”
“For starters, you’ll be suffering from withdrawal symptoms from the steroids for the next few days. Kaiser told me that you’ve only used them for a couple of weeks, so it won’t take very long, but it won’t be pretty. That is, if you were on your own.”
“So this is some kind of rehab?”
“Detoxification is only a part of your treatment. Think of it as the cherry on the cake, rather than the icing.”
“But why treat me like I’m your puppy?” Aran blurted out in ever growing confusion.
“Like I said, your drug addiction is only a minor problem, one that will be solved relatively easily. You need help with greater problems and I’m here to guide you through that struggle.”
“Why me? I can’t remember signing up for this, not considering the trick Kaiser pulled on me.”
Jennifer smiled again.
“It wasn’t your choice, Aran.”
“I know that, but whose was it?” he asked, slightly agitated.
“Calm down, little one. That’s an altogether different question.”
“But-” he started, only to get interrupted.
“No, we agreed on one question to be answered, and you have already overdrawn that request. Furthermore, you’re not ready to know the answer to your latter question.”
Aran crossed his arms and looked away from the collie.
“Don’t pout, wolfie. Let things sort themselves out and you might discover that some of your questions are answered along the way. Some you didn’t even know how to ask, maybe. Remember, go with the flow. We’re not even considering letting you go before you accept these basic things.”
The wolf looked down and sighed, with his eyes closed.
“Do I need to tickle you to see a happy pup again?” Jennifer said, playfully threatening.
Aran opened his eyes and saw that the collie had picked up his stuffed husky from the floor. She handed it to him and he, partly instinctively, accepted it with both hands.
“Don’t be afraid, little one,” she reassured, petting Aran’s head, “we’re here to heal you, not to hurt you. We’ve had plenty of chances to hurt or even molest you, but we didn’t. Kaiser could have beaten you all he wanted, but he gave you a painkiller. You see? We’re not bad people.”
“But you touched… when you changed me, and…” the wolf started, but he could not get his head straight. He wanted to hate the collie, pounce her and maul her body, but something ultimately held him back.
“So did your mother when you were an actual puppy. You’re not blaming a mother for cleaning up her child, are you?”
“You’re not my mother,” Aran stated matter-of-factly.
“I know, but according to you, nobody else is either.”
‘I got to stop letting her score so easily,’ the wolf thought.
“Like I said earlier, I’m not asking to address me as your mother. You can, if you prefer to, but you don’t have to. I understand if you don’t want to relate me to someone you feel has let you down.”
Although it was probably not Jennifer’s intention, her words hurt the wolf as they hit his mind. He shivered, cramping up a little, unintentionally ending up clutching the husky tighter to his body. Jennifer smiled.
“I’m sorry, perhaps I should have chosen different words to say that.”
“It’s okay, I’ll get over it,” Aran replied plainly.
“Come, I bet you want to know what this place looks like.”
The sudden change of topic surprised the wolf in a positive manner. On Jennifer’s invitation, he hopped off the changing table onto the tiled bathroom floor, with bare paws. The tiles felt a little cold, but not uncomfortably so.
“I see you like your husky,” Jennifer commented with a smile.
Aran realized it was hard to deny her observation, since he was holding it like a child would carry their prized plushy.
“Maybe a little,” he replied, mentally scolding himself for giving in.
“It’s yours to keep.”
The wolf looked at Jennifer in disbelief.
“Really, it’s yours now. I handpicked it specially for you. Now you don’t need to thank me, but if you still feel like doing so, be a dear and think of a name for your plushie.”
“A name? It’s a toy…” the wolf replied with a puzzled expression.
“Plushies like it when you name them. It’s okay, take your time. For now, let’s go downstairs,” Jennifer said, offering her hand to lead the wolf.

VII. Stairway to highchair

“Are you hungry, little one?” Jennifer asked as she led the wolf out of the bathroom.
“It’s been a while since I last ate, I think,” Aran replied, but he was distracted by his surroundings.
The hallway was fairly spacious, with five doors and a staircase. When they slowly descended the first steps of the stairs, one at a time, the wolf noticed that there was a wooden fence at the very top of the stairs. The fence looked like it could be shut, preventing people from descending the stairs.
Aran wanted to walk down faster, but the collie was in his way, only allowing him to descend to the next step when he had both paws on the same step. Holding his stuffed husky with one hand and Jennifer’s hand with the other, he eventually reached the bottom of the staircase.
The staircase was not connected to a hallway, but to the living room instead, which was in turn connected to an open kitchen. The kitchen itself was shaped like a U, with one arm dividing the large room and separating the kitchen from the living room.
Next to the kitchen was a heavy-looking varnished wooden table with two chairs on each long side and one on either of the shorter sides. One of those chairs, however, looked different from the others. Its seat was significantly higher and it had armrests.
Jennifer took the wolf to this odd-looking chair and motioned him to sit down. The chair was not only higher than usual, it also appeared to be more spacious, as if it was meant to make whoever was seated in it feel small.
Just as Aran was pondering this, the collie surprised him by putting a wooden tray over the armrests. There was a long wooden pin connected to the tray that fell into its place like a piece of a puzzle. With this missing piece filled in, the wolf now recognized the strange piece of furniture Jennifer had allocated him: it was a highchair. For a second, Aran thought about climbing out of the chair, but his way out was cut off when he heard something behind the chair click in place. Looking down, he realized that the collie had fastened some kind of restraint to keep him in place.
Since the black wolf was already somewhat small, his feet dangled. He was unable to touch the floor, let alone put a full paw down. His paws eventually found support on a footrest, but the wolf still could not find a comfortable way to sit. After all, he was not used to wearing a diaper and the unfamiliar cushiony feeling it bestowed upon his bottom. Besides, the wooden pin did not allow the wolf to keep his legs together and the restraint limited his movement as well.
Meanwhile, Jennifer was preparing something in the kitchen, but the wolf could not see what she was doing since she was not facing him, and her body was in Aran’s line of sight. When she turned back to him, he saw that she carried a colorful plastic spoon, and quite a few glass jars of what appeared to be… baby food? He estimated the jars to be larger than those sized for actual puppies, though.
Jennifer put the jars on the table, in Aran’s plain sight, but out of his arms’ reach. To make things worse, the collie produced a piece of cloth fabric from one of the kitchen drawers – one with a shape Aran recognized as well. The cloth had a bone-shaped appliqué with the word “puppy” sewn on it.
“Now you’re probably going to tell me that you don’t need this,” Jennifer said as she tied the bib around her pup’s neck, “but I’ve just bathed you and I don’t want your clothes to get messy already, alright?”
“I think I’m well able to keep myself clean.”
The collie smiled.
“I’ve heard that twice before, and with both of my charges, the bib was no luxury when I fed them for the first time,” she explained.
‘Wait, she fed them? Darn, she’s actually going to feed me with a spoon or whatever,’ Aran thought.
“By the way, you’ll have to put your husky aside for a while. You can be cleaned in a bathtub, but the plushie, well, not so much, I’m afraid.”
With a laid-back move, Aran offered the plushie to his caretaker. She put it on the other end of the table, its muzzle facing the wolf, as if it was patiently waiting for its new owner to be released from the big chair.
“Are you sitting comfortably?” Jennifer asked.
“Not really. Can’t I just sit on a normal chair?”
She shook her head.
“Puppies sit in a highchair during a meal and I’m not letting you out before you have eaten.”
Aran looked at the jars of food on the table and tried to count them.
“Don’t worry, you won’t need to eat all of them. I don’t know how large your appetite is, but I guess we’ll find out soon!”
“Do I really need to eat that?”
“Yes, you do. Aran, you should stop questioning me. I’m your caregiver and I know what’s best for you. It’s part of my job, so there’s no need for you to doubt if I know what I’m doing.”
The wolf stared down, looking at the wooden tray of the highchair.
“Oh I get it, you think it’ll taste bad because it’s baby food, right?”
Aran nodded.
“Why judge it if you haven’t tried it yet?” she asked cheerfully.
The wolf looked back up. “How much time do you have?”
Jennifer chuckled and took the cap off one of the jars.
“Good, we’re going to start off with something almost everybody likes, so you can get accustomed to this, okay?”
“Fine…” Aran mumbled.
She took the spoon and scooped up some of the yellow-orange mushy stuff. Even though the wolf wanted to resist this treatment with every fiber in his body, he knew that it was inevitable. Jennifer said she was not going to let him eat anything else, and neither was she going to let him out of the chair before he was done eating.
‘Let’s get this over with,’ the wolf thought.
Jennifer offered a spoonful of baby food and he leaned forward a little, with his muzzle opened to accept the spoon. The mush touched Aran’s tongue and to his surprise, it actually did not taste that bad. Since the mush did not require actual chewing, Aran could swallow it immediately.
There were hints of oranges and probably other citrus fruits, leaving a pleasant aftertaste after he did so. Trying his best to not look too eager, he opened his muzzle for the next spoonful. His stomach had caught on that it was mealtime and as the Jennifer emptied the bottle, the wolf grew hungry for more.
The second jar contained something along the lines of apples and red cabbage. It was not altogether bad, although Aran liked the first blend better. His enthusiasm was curbed by the taste of the third jar, however. It contained a mixture of green vegetables like green beans, broccoli and peas. The wolf did not know the ingredients of the green mush, however, so he did not resist the first spoonful Jennifer served him.
This changed after he swallowed said serving, though, and he put up a facial expression of disgust. The collie tried to feed him another spoonful of the vegetable blend, but Aran twisted and turned all he could to prevent the foul tasting mush from entering his mouth.

VIII. Fast food

“Come on, little one, it’s good for you,” Jennifer instigated.
“But it tastes bad!” the wolf exclaimed.
“If you finish this one like a good puppy, I’ll give you something yummy for dessert, deal?”
Aran sighed. “I suppose I don’t have a choice?”
“In short, you don’t, so open up that cute black muzzle of yours and let me put the spoon in,” she encouraged once more.
The wolf wanted to continue the argument, but realized too late that opening his muzzle to talk would also allow Jennifer to shove the spoon in. Since the mouth is practically a one-way gate, it proved impossible to get words out and food in at the same time. Some of the food managed to stay where the collie wanted it to go, but most of it turned back and ended up on the bib.
“And you told me you could eat without making a mess of yourself,” Jennifer mocked playfully, shaking her head, “You need that bib after all, don’t you?”
Aran wanted to protest again, but he had learned from the recent past and firmly shut his muzzle.
“Oh no, none of that now,” the collie responded, trying to push another spoonful of vegetable mush in his mouth.
“Pup, listen to me,” she said sternly, “either you eat this like a good puppy, or I’m going to make you eat it. Believe me, I know seven, maybe eight ways to get this food in your tummy, but you won’t like any of them. Do we understand each other?”
The wolf whimpered, then slowly opened this muzzle, allowing Jennifer to continue feeding him. He stared at her, his eyes begging for mercy, but to no avail. The entire contents of the jar was shoved down his throat, quite literally. Aran shivered, trying to get the horrid taste from his tongue. He was relieved when the jar was finally empty. For the first time, he was glad that he did not have to chew on the food. Anything that would delay the act of swallowing the mush would prolong the torture of his tongue.
“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“It was. Still tasted awful. Please don’t give me any more of where that came from,” he replied, crossing his arms.
“Oh? So you’re not hungry anymore? Guess I’ll put this back then,” Jennifer teased, showing him a carton of strawberry yogurt she had taken from the fridge.
“No, no, please! I was talking about the veggies!”
“You said you didn’t want any more just yet,” she teased.
“B-but you promised something tasty…”
Jennifer smiled and gave in, opened the carton and scooped up a spoonful. Just to tease her charge some more, she held the spoon in front of the wolf, but not close enough for him to reach it. All he could do was sniff at it and smell the sweet scent of his dessert.
Aran wanted to lean forward some more, but the tray and the tether of the highchair prevented any further movement. He then came to his senses and understood that he was giving the collie what she wanted.
He was behaving like a hungry toddler, begging for his caregiver to feed him more non-chewable food. Aran decided to trick the collie by leaning back, in the hopes that she would close in as well. Jennifer did like he suspected, which granted the wolf enough space to suddenly lunge forward and snap at the spoon.
“Why do they always do that?” Jennifer queried aloud.
“Whaddya mean?” Aran replied after he swallowed the tasty yogurt.
“I promised you something yummy, didn’t I?”
The wolf nodded.
“Then why do you act like I wouldn’t keep said promise?”
He did not get the opportunity to react immediately, since his mouth was once again occupied by the plastic spoon. The wolf decided to let the question slip and enjoy his dessert instead. He accepted the servings of yogurt with such zeal that it might give a new definition to the term ‘to wolf something down’. But then again, he was a wolf after all, so why not act on it?
In stark contrast to the previous dish, Aran was actually disappointed when the carton of yogurt was empty. On the other paw, his stomach told him that he was satiated, so even if he wanted to, there probably was no room for more food.
“Did my puppy like that?”
“The last one, yush,” Aran confessed.
“It’s not complicated, little one. I know what’s good for you. All I ask is that you trust me. Now this example was simple, but I hope you’ve learned from it.”
The wolf looked down with his ears drooping down, an expression that hinted towards guilt. In his head, two voices were fighting. One of them was shouting, telling the wolf to resist all this idiocy and to get out as soon as there was an opportunity. The other voice, however, was soft and gentle, and told him that Jennifer was right. Her intentions were good, but he treated her like she was crazy.
But was she crazy? Surely, treating a twenty-year-old like a toddler was far from commonplace, but she had to have a reason for all that, had she not? After all, everything he had seen and experienced so far had written ‘this place is for big cubs’ all over it. Something told him that the collie was not insane, but she certainly was not an average person with an average plan.
Furthermore, the collie even said that Aran was her third charge, so his predicament was not randomly chosen. However, the wolf had troubles putting the pieces of the puzzle together in such a way that Kaiser fit in. Jennifer then disturbed his pondering by wiping his muzzle with a piece of damp cloth, after which she untied the bib and put the latter in a bin. The bin looked like it had the function of a hamper, but it could be closed off so the smells of whatever was in there would not reach the rest of the room.
“Have you come up with a name for your husky yet, dear?”
Aran shook his head.
“What’s the matter? Can’t think of anything that suits it?”
He shrugged.
“Come on, you can’t cuddle with a plushie that doesn’t have a name.”
“Why not? It’s a toy, why should I name it?”
“It’s not just a toy, little one. Your plushie is a companion. I can’t be around you all the time, but your plushie can, even when you sleep.”
“Fine. But how do I pick a name? I’ve never had a stuffed animal before, and even if I did, I can’t remember naming it.”
“My first charge named his plushie after someone that had meant a lot to him, but he had lost this person when he was young. Maybe that’ll help you?”
The wolf pondered, digging in his memory for anyone to fit that description. To his surprise, someone quickly came to mind.
“I… I used to have a good friend when I was in elementary school. He moved to another city when we were in the fourth grade. I haven’t heard from him since.”
“Oh, I’m sorry for you, dear. What was his name?”
“Damian,” the wolf replied plainly, “He was a jackal rather than a husky, but still…”
“I think it fits him. Do you agree?”
“I guess.”
“Here,” Jennifer said, handing the plushie back to her charge, “I think he’d like a hug now.”
Aran accepted the husky with both hands and pulled it to his chest, not really sure what to do with it.
“Um… are you going to let me out of this chair anytime soon? It’s getting kinda uncomfortable.”
“Of course, dear. Give me a moment.”
The collie released the restraint of the highchair, then unlatched the tray and removed it. Aran wanted to get out of the chair by himself, but Jennifer held him back. Instead, she grabbed him under his knees and one of his armpits. The wolf knew what was coming.
With a fluid move, the collie lifted her charge from the chair and put him down on the floor.

IX. Just play along

It felt good to have his paws touch the floor again. Additionally, the wolf now had the opportunity to look around a bit more. The highchair was situated at one of the short ends of the table, but it faced the kitchen and he his back was turned to the living room the entire time.
At first sight, the living room did not feature anything out of the ordinary. A comfortable chair or two, a couch that was placed against a wall. There was a brightly colored clock above said couch and all of it more or less faced towards the mantel and the fireplace.
As the wolf looked closer, he noticed that there was a door in the side of the living room, close to the back wall. Next to the door, a part of the wall was omitted and replaced by a sturdy glass pane. However, there was about a foot of open space near the ceiling.
“Are you curious about what’s behind that door?” Jennifer asked.
“How can you tell?”
She smiled, offering her hand. “I’ve been a caregiver long enough read the body language of a puppy.”
“I’m not a puppy,” he denied.
“Besides the fact that you look like one, part of you sure acts like one, don’t you think?”
Another point for Jennifer. The wolf decided that it would be better for his self-esteem to not keep count. He took the hand of his caregiver and she led him to the door at the other end of the living room.
“This is our playroom,” Jennifer said, after she opened the door. “You can play with anything in there, but I expect to you tidy up any toy you pick up, all right?”
Aran looked around and saw a bright red cabinet and various lidless toy boxes that contained different kinds of toys. Some of them were clearly for boys, while others seemed to be more suitable for girls. He wondered why there were toys for girls, since both he and Jennifer’s first charge were boys.
“Wait, you expect me to actually…” he started, but he had troubles finishing his sentence.
“Play with toys? Of course, dear, that’s what they’re here for.”
“No, I mean, these toys, they’re for little kids, and-” he started, but with the same result as before.
“Aran, look at me. A playroom is to play in, and toys are to play with. Can you do the math?”
He sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the voice of rebellion was shouting so loud that it overruled all other thoughts.
“Oh, for crying out loud! I already dealt with wearing a diaper, being bathed and being fed with a spoon! Aren’t you asking a bit too much of me?”
“How is playing with toys worse than any of the other things you mentioned?” Jennifer dodged.
“You don’t understand! You’re treating me as if I’m a toddler, but I’m twenty years old! Just tell me what you want from me and skip this nonsense.”
He wanted to walk off, but the collie still held his hand and she showed no intentions of loosening her grip.
“Little one, between the two of us, you are the one that does not understand. I get that you’re confused, maybe even angry, but I’m not doing this to embarrass you.”
“Then what is this all about?”
“I’m not allowed to say, not yet.”
“Right, we’re going to play that card again. Why can’t you just tell me what you want from me, so I can give it to you and we can be done with this whole ‘treatment’ thing of yours,” he said with ever growing annoyance.
“Aran, it doesn’t work that way. If I would do that, you’d play pretend and do whatever I ask just to please me. No, you’ll have to go through all of this, so you’ll give us what we want to see out of free will.”
“Free will? Whatever can I give you in this situation that fits my idea of free will?”
“Change,” the collie replied matter-of-factly.
“A change in what?”
“I already said too much. Now be good and go have some fun. Don’t worry, you can take Damian with you and if you need anything, just call me.”
The collie nudged her charge into the playroom shut the door behind him. Aran heard the sound of something being shoved or latched and turned around to the door. He then noticed that it could not be opened from the inside. With his shoulders against the painted wood, he applied pressure in a vain attempt to open the door, but it would not budge.
‘Great,’ he thought. ‘Now I’m stuck in some playroom with toys I’m at least fifteen years too old for.’
Aran sat down on the padded foam floor and tried to think. The door would not give way and there was no workable method to open it. The only other way out was through the gap between ceiling and the top of the glass pane, but that would be impossible to reach. Besides, even if he would manage to reach it, there was no way he could return to the floor without hurting himself – or alarming Jennifer, for that matter.
The wolf sighed. His situation was both familiar and contradictory at the same time. On the one hand, he had stared at the door of his own bedroom many times. However, instead of waiting for someone to let him out, he had watched the door in order to be ready to defend himself.
When he was younger, Aran had tried a lot of different things to keep his father out of his room. Usually, it meant trouble when that silver-grey wolf would bash into the only few square feet of private space Aran had. Now that he thought about it, even his own bedroom could not provide privacy.
Oh, how he wished to have had a lock on his bedroom door. It would have solved a lot of problems. On the other paw, his father could still beat him up in anywhere else in the house. Aran shook his head in an attempt to shake off the bad memories. He was a strong, independent wolf, and his father would be the last person he ever needed for anything.
Still, nothing of this changed his current situation. He was in a place that was obviously designed for children, with no power outlets, hard surfaces or sharp corners to be found. Jennifer had said that he was her third charge, which meant that two other people had preceded him. How had they spent their time in there?
Aran finally gave up on devising an exit strategy. Since he was going to be stuck in the playroom until Jennifer would release him, he decided to make the most of it. The first thing he noticed when he inspected the room was that it lacked a clock, or any other concrete indication of time, for that matter.
Additionally, the glass pane allowed him to see into the living room, but the clock was on the same wall as the glass pane, so there was no way he could keep track of time. He figured that this was intentional, to make the charges forget about time and focus on playing instead.
The playroom did have windows on two walls, but none of them could be opened. Furthermore, they started at the ceiling and reached down to five, maybe six feet above the floor. Even when standing on his toes, Aran could not look outside.
He then turned to the cabinet. However, to his surprise, it had no drawers and only two front doors, but they were locked. This left him with the toy boxes. One of the boxes would certainly never draw his attention, let alone never would he play with its contents.
It contained dolls, dress-up clothes and pony plushies in various colors ranging from purple to pink. The word “girly” would be an understatement to describe it in one term. Aran shook his head; he would not even play with such things if people paid him for it.
The second box was a bit smaller and contained toys he figured were gender neutral. There were coloring books, crayons, wooden puzzles with fairly large pieces and other toys one could find in a room for a child of either gender.
The last box sparked something inside Aran when he waded through the contents. It contained pieces for a wooden modeled railway, some train wagons to go with it and a couple of cars. Additionally, he found figurines of dinosaurs and other animals.
Even though the rebellious voice had verbally lashed at Jennifer only minutes ago, Aran’s calm side appeared to resurface and take control of the wheel again. The modeled railway reminded him of a simpler time, when he and Damian were still friends. Together, they had spent many hours playing with the jackal’s railway, making up all kinds of stories and events as they did.
Still, that was more than ten years ago. The wolf still felt too old to relive such memories, but from experience, he knew that building a railway model from scratch could take hours. Aran did not know whether that was to blame on the perfectionism of their infantile minds or they just lacked the ability to oversee the possibilities, but neither did he care.
He dug up every part of wooden rail he could find and started putting them together in a fairly random way. After all, he had no idea what he was going to do just yet, but hoped that he would find that out on the fly.
Even better, not having a plan would ultimately result in rebuilding the railway, which would only take more time. Estimating that Jennifer could keep him in the playroom until dark, anything that would prolong his self-made plan would speed up his sense of time.

X. Dinner mash-up

Contrary to what the wolf had anticipated and expected, his plan worked. With Damian watching the spectacle from the sidelines, Aran was fully immersed in building the modeled railway. Somewhere along the lines, Jennifer brought him a bottle of lemonade, but the wolf did not even notice her until he heard the door being closed again.
He would have protested in other occasions, but instead, he picked up the bottle. Idly drinking from it, he continued planning and building the railway. The wolf was just pondering where to put the bridge when Jennifer came in again, quite some time later.
“I see that you’re enjoying yourself after all, little one?”
He put down the bridge piece.
“There’s no way you’re going to let me talk myself out of this, right?” he queried.
“Not really, no,” she laughed.
“I used to play with a similar set when I was little.”
“Well, I guess being little again hasn’t changed that, has it now?”
Aran shook his head.
“Did Damien enjoy himself too?”
“Whuh-whatnow?”
“Your husky, did he have fun?”
“I dunno. He’s a plushie,” Aran replied in confusion.
“You didn’t keep all the fun for yourself, did you? It’s not nice if you don’t share.”
“Maybe, but he didn’t complain and he’s still smiling,” the wolf countered as he picked up his plushie.
Jennifer remained silent for a few seconds, standing with her hands in her sides.
“I’ve got to admit that I didn’t see that one coming, Aran.”
The wolf showed a proud expression on his muzzle.
“Do you know what time it is, dear?”
“Nope. Even if there is a clock in here, it has managed to hide itself pretty well.”
She smiled.
“It’s time for dinner, come,” she said, offering her hand.
“Really? Did I spend that long in here?” he replied, accepting her offer.
“Believe it or not, but the small handle is pointing at the six already.”
Since Aran had no clue what time it was when he entered the playroom, he did not have a concrete idea on how long he actually played with the railway. However, at the mentioning of food, his tummy rumbled to emphasize that it was indeed mealtime.
The collie led him to the highchair again and even though the wolf hated being locked up in there, he realized that his caregiver would not let him sit on an ordinary chair. It was either being fed dinner whilst sitting on a highchair, or having no dinner at all. His stomach made that decision for him fairly quickly.
Aran reluctantly let his caregiver lift him onto the seat of the highchair, then she placed the tray back where it belonged. The tether soon followed suit, leaving the wolf in anticipation of what Jennifer would feed him for dinner. He had forgotten about the bib already, though.
The collie, however, had not. She tied a bib around Aran’s neck, one similar to the piece of clothing he had worn during his previous feeding. Trading a bib for a plushie did not seem like a fair trade to the wolf, but he knew that the stuffed dog would be in the way during his feeding.
To prevent any unnecessary predicaments, he handed the plushie over to his caregiver, who put it on the table just like she had during the previous feeding. Jennifer then turned to one of the kitchen cabinets and searched for some jars of food. She took out three of them and shut the door again.
Instead of serving the food like she had done previously, the collie turned to the microwave, opened the first jar and put it inside. Within a minute, the machine produced its well-known ‘ding’-sound to announce that the food was ready to be served.
Jennifer retrieved the heated jar from the microwave and returned to her charge. With the now familiar colorful plastic spoon in the other hand, she scooped up some of the contents and let Aran taste it. He hesitated at first, but as soon as he tasted hints of chicken and curry rice, the deal was sealed. The food still did not require any chewing, but its taste reminded him more of actual food than the feared vegetable blend.
The first jar was soon empty and Jennifer popped a second one in the microwave. Aran had declared that he liked the dish and his caregiver took that as a hint that he wanted more of the same. After the second portion, however, his enthusiasm was dampened. Just as he had gotten his hopes up that there would be no vegetables at dinner, Jennifer put a jar of green mush in the microwave.
“Oh no, that’s not more of the green veggie stuff, is it?”
“Not exactly,” the collie replied. “This is a different mixture. You might like this one better.”
“Hate it less,” Aran corrected.
“Pup, we don’t ‘hate’ food. Other people have nothing to eat, so be grateful that you can fill your tummy.”
This sudden stern comment shattered a good part Aran’s confidence.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered.
“That’s okay,” Jennifer reassured. “Now open up, the vegetable train has arrived, bringing healthy food for good puppies!”
Aran sighed in defeat and opened his muzzle. He tried to swallow the mush as soon as it touched his tongue, so he would not have to taste it very long. The mixture indeed had a somewhat different taste, but it was still far from delicious. In order to be done with it as soon as possible, the wolf did his best to continue as fast as he could.
“Good puppy,” the collie praised when all of the vegetable blend was gone. “Do you have some more room in your tummy for a dessert?”
“I guess. Can I have more of that strawberry yogurt?”
“You can, but not until I hear the magic word.”
‘Magic word?’ The wolf thought. ‘Oh wait, sure.’
“Um, may I have some more strawberry yogurt, please?”
“Of course, dear,” the collie replied and she walked to the fridge to retrieve a carton. “See how much easier it is to just go with the flow?”
“Maybe, but I still don’t understand any of this.”
“You don’t have to. Keep yourself occupied with this delicious yogurt instead,” she joked.
Although Aran ate the yogurt with a little more restraint than last time – or a less lack thereof – he still managed to make all of the fruity dairy product disappear into his stomach within the blink of an eye. As he caught his breath afterwards, his tummy told him that it had had enough for the moment.
“That’s what I thought,” Jennifer commented when she had ran out of yogurt. “It looks like your bib was no luxury this time either.”
The wolf looked at his chest and concluded that his caregiver was not joking. His ears drooped and his stared at the wooden tray in embarrassment.
“Don’t be sad, little one. It’s okay for puppies like you to make a bit of a mess when they’re eating.”
“But I’m not-” he started, but decided that it would be useless to protest. “I guess so.”
She wiped his muzzle clean and took the bib off, then returned Damian to his owner. After removing the tray and relieving Aran of the restraint, she lifted him out of the highchair and put him down on the ground again.
“Little one, I’d like you to go back to the playroom and tidy up the toys you played with, can you do that for me?”
Aran wanted to protest, as he was nearly finished building the railway and now his caregiver asked him to put everything away. He decided not to fall into the behavior she wanted him to show, and just confirmed that he would do as she asked.
As the wolf took the railway apart and put the wooden pieces back where they belonged, he was struggling with a sense of discord. One half of him was glad that he did not have to play with children’s toys anymore, while the other half was genuinely disappointed about the project disappearing in the toy box.
His mental disagreement was silenced by a totally different problem, though. He had not noticed it very much during dinner, but his body had processed the liquids from the bottle he drank earlier. What comes in must go out, and Aran felt the pressure on his bladder increase.
When he was done tidying up the toys, he was still left with the question whether he was going to use his diaper or wait. Eventually, he would have to let go, but the independent young adult inside the wolf strongly urged him to hold his bladder.
A few minutes later, the pressure became annoying. Aran sat down and considered his options. Jennifer referred to him as a puppy and treated him like one in many aspects. She probably would not let him use a toilet, else she would surely have encouraged him to do so earlier.
That left him with the choice of going immediately or going later. Even though his adult mind tried its best to convince him otherwise, the wolf knew deep down that he was only delaying the inevitable. He got back on his paws and placed his palms against the door. With his eyes closed, he took a deep breath and concentrated on his bladder.
It took some effort, but he eventually managed to void the organ of its content. The wolf let out a sigh of relief and reached for the door handle to leave the playroom, but his hand only caught air. He then remembered that the door could not be opened from the inside.

XI. You're gonna have a bedtime

Aran knocked on the door with the bottom of his fist to catch the attention of his caregiver.
“Jennifer? Can you open the door?” he called out.
He looked through the glass pane and saw the collie coming towards the playroom.
“I can, but there is this special word I didn’t hear.”
‘Oh come on,’ the wolf thought, ‘I asked nicely, didn’t I?’
“Can you let me out, please?” he rephrased.
The collie answered by opening the playroom door.
“Thanks, I guess.”
“I see you put everything back where it belongs,” she observed.
The wolf nodded.
“Good boy,” the collie praised, ruffling Aran’s headfur. “You can play here again tomorrow, but it’s time for a certain little black wolfie to go to sleep now.”
“Seriously? What time is it?”
“Your bedtime, for now.”
“But I’m not sleepy. Like, not at all,” Aran reclaimed.
“Are you coming with me, or do I need to carry you upstairs?” the collie asked, ignoring Aran’s objections.
“I’ll walk,” he replied with a tone of defeat.
While climbing the stairs, the wolf noticed that his wet diaper forced his legs apart somewhat, making it harder to walk properly. This was no real problem, since his caregiver still did not allow him to climb the stairs like he normally would.
Once upstairs, Jennifer led him to the bathroom first. Aran had not paid attention when she had bathed him and he had been blindfolded most of the time, so the bathroom was new to him. He saw a changing table, a bathtub and a walk-in shower, all large enough to fit even a seven foot tall charge.
Next to the changing table was a washing stand with a round mirror above it, mounted on the wall. The shelf displayed a couple of plastic cups, all in a different color, with a tub of toothpaste and one toothbrush in each cup. Jennifer took one of the brushes and put some toothpaste on it. She grabbed Aran’s wrist again and looked at him with a serious expression.
“I guess you know what’s going to happen now?”
“I’m going to brush my teeth?” the wolf replied, extending his arm to take the toothbrush.
“Not quite. I’m going to brush your teeth, so open up that muzzle for me.”
“I can do it myself, you know.”
“Where did I hear that before?” the collie teased. “Come on, this’ll be over before you know. Just open your muzzle and let me do the hard work.”
Aran reluctantly gave in and let his caregiver brush his teeth. When the collie was satisfied, she let him rinse his mouth while she cleaned the toothbrush.
“See? That wasn’t too complicated, was it?”
He shook his head.
“Come,” Jennifer invited, “I bet my puppy could use a clean diaper.”
The wolf whimpered in embarrassment, realizing that his caregiver had caught up on his ‘accident’. With drooping ears and his tail tucked between his legs, he followed the collie inside the nursery. Jennifer opened the door and Aran saw ‘his’ room for the first time. Of course, he had been there before, but the blindfold had prevented any visual input.
There was a spacious wooden crib in the far corner of the room, supposedly large enough to fit two ‘puppies’ inside. The mattress was covered with a light blue blanket, adorned with yellow stars and moons. Above the crib hung a mobile with matching figures. Right across from the crib was another changing table, on which Jennifer put him down for his diaper change. She took off his shirt and Aran looked away from his waist. He did not like to see the result of his earlier wetting.
Instead, he looked around the nursery some more. Next to the crib was a wooden chair, which was probably where Jennifer had fed him the bottle of milk when he first woke up. Only one wall had windows in it, but they were rather small and it did not look like they could be opened. Lastly, there was a large wardrobe in the nursery.
Aran had some suspicions concerning what the wardrobe contained, but did not dare to fantasize about it. Chances were that Jennifer could dress him in clothes even more childish than the outfit he had worn that day.
“There we are, all better,” she said, snapping Aran back to reality.
The collie wrapped the used diaper up and threw it in a diaper pail next to the changing table. Not taking his diaper into account, the wolf was stark naked as he laid on the foamy plastic surface of the changing pad.
“Let’s put you in your sleeper and then you’ll be good to go,” Jennifer mused, retrieving a blue footed sleeper from the wardrobe. To Aran’s dismay, the garment came with mittens, just like the one he had worn when he woke up.
“Are you going to put the pacifier with the harness in my mouth again?” the wolf queried, somewhat afraid of the possible impending doom.
“You’ve been a good puppy most of the time, so I don’t see why that would be necessary.”
Jennifer put the sleeper down on the end of the changing table. She then lifted Aran up and helped him back on his paws, so he could step into the sleeper. To Aran’s surprise, the garment zipped up in the back, rather than in the front. He assumed that this was to prevent him taking the sleeper off - or his diaper, for that matter.
The collie rummaged through one of the drawers in the changing table and got out a bright green pacifier. She offered it to Aran, who hesitated at first, but eventually accepted the nipple with his muzzle. Satisfied with the wolf’s behavior, Jennifer lifted her charge up and put him in his crib.
“Hey, where’s Damian? Did you forget him in the playroom?”
Aran frowned, then nodded in confirmation.
“Don’t worry,” the collie replied as she slid the side of the crib up, “I’ll go get him for you.”
She left the nursery to do as she promised, returning a minute or two later with the plushie in one hand and a small book in the other. Jennifer unlatched the side of the crib and handed the stuffed husky to her charge.
“Please don’t leave me again,” she said with a high-pitched voice, pretending to speak for Damian, “It’s so lonely without you,”
The wolf shook his head and took the plushie from his caregiver.
“I also brought you a bottle, so you won’t have to wake me up in case you get thirsty tonight,” she then said with her normal voice, handing Aran a transparent blue puppy bottle.
He put the bottle aside, next to his pillow, while Jennifer pulled up the wooden chair and opened the book. Aran did not understand what the book was for, until the collie started reading. It was a childish story about a little teddy bear, looking through a window on a snowy winter’s day, longing for the spring. She was reading him a bedtime story.
Not really paying attention to the tale, the wolf dug in his memory and tried to remember whether his mother ever read a story to him before bedtime. Unable to find happy memories, he firmly shook his head to pull himself back to the present.
“And that’s where snowflakes come from, said Mommy. The end,” the collie read.
She closed the book and put the chair back where it belonged.
“Now be a good puppy and try to sleep, okay?”
Aran pulled the pacifier from his mouth, an effort that required his entire hand rather than just his fingers.
“But I’m not sleepy yet. It’s way too early,” he objected.
“It’s never too early to go to Dreamland, Aran. Puppies need all the sleep they can get. Besides, there are nice dreams waiting for you. Just close your eyes and let them come to you,” Jennifer reassured.
The wolf wanted to protest, but she put his pacifier back in his mouth and tucked him in.
“Night-night, Aran,” she whispered in his ears, then gave him a lick on his forehead.
Leaving the black wolf in a somewhat bewildered state, the collie slid up the side of the crib and secured it. On her way out, she switched the baby monitor on and turned the lights off. Since it was around seven in the evening, it was not quite dark outside yet, but the windows were small and the world outside was shrouded in twilight.
In the now poorly lit nursery, Aran tossed and turned a bit to get comfortable. His substantial diaper did not allow him to find an agreeable position, though. Slightly frustrated, the wolf sat up, in an attempt to reposition in such a way that the thick nighttime diaper would be less of a nuisance to him.
He finally laid down on his side, keeping Damian close to his chest. Even though his adult mind kept telling him every now and then that he did not need the stuffed husky and that he should throw it out of the crib, Aran decided to hold onto it. The plushie was a welcome item during the anxiety attack he experienced earlier, so it was not completely useless to him.
The wolf tried his best to fall asleep, since there was not much he could do otherwise. However, sleep is not something that comes when one tries to reach it. On the contrary, falling asleep usually proves itself to be more difficult in proportion as you try harder.
Time passed, but the wolf did not know how long he had spent laying in the crib, mindlessly petting Damian’s back. He eventually got a little thirsty and spat the pacifier out, trading it for the nipple of the puppy bottle.
With his thirst quenched, Aran took the pacifier back in his muzzle, wondering why the taste of the water had such a strange connotation. The answer, unfortunately, stayed away, for the wolf soon fell into a deep, helpless sleep.

XII. Let's try this again

When Aran woke up, the first thing that struck him as odd was the direction of gravity. For all he knew, he fell asleep lying down on a soft mattress, not sitting up on a hard surface. The second thing his groggy mind managed to figure out was his location. He had been there once before.
Pulling his mind from the World of the Sleeping, the black wolf noticed that he was wearing a light blue nylon body harness to cover his upper body – the same one he had worn during his previous visit to that same place. His sleeper, however, was nowhere to be found, only his thick nighttime diaper.
So there was going to be more of this after all. The wolf dreaded the thought of talking to Kaiser. The Doberman had not seemed willing to convey a coherent message yet. It took him only moments to draw his conclusion: he was in the same room where he first woke up after Mason’s henchman beat him up.
Was this going to be a repetition of the same moves on the same chess board? The wolf shook his head, denying what he just thought. In contrast to the first time, Aran could clearly feel the presence of a diaper around his waist, which told him that it would not be exactly the same.
“Are you up?” a familiar male voice sounded.
The wolf looked up, meeting eyes with Kaiser. The Doberman sat right across the table on a chair that had been turned around, just like it had been during the previous conversation. His arms were folded over the top of the back.
“There we are. Do you remember who I am?”
Aran softly moaned. “You’re… Kaiser.”
“Can you recall how we first met?”
“You asked me if I needed help after I had been beaten up by a feline.”
“Good, that means you’re awake and coherent.”
This comment made Aran perk up his ears. His instinct told him that something significant was about to happen.
“Why are you here?”
“W-huh? Wait, isn’t that supposed to be my line?”
Kaiser closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.
“Darn… You haven’t learned anything from our first conversation, have you?” the Doberman said, but it sounded like he was thinking out aloud. “Back to ‘go’. I’m the one that asks the questions, you’re the one that answers them, got it?”
The wolf initially wanted to nod, but remembered that his collocutor would probably reprimand him with reference to a microphone.
“Fine,” he said, looking away from the Doberman.
Kaiser snapped his fingers. “Eyes, Aran. They’re up here,” he chided.
‘Somebody is in a bad mood’, the wolf thought, but he complied anyway.
“Take two. Why are you here?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why are you here?” the Doberman repeated with a little more pressure.
“I don’t know,” the wolf replied, hoping to fend off any remaining questions.
“Try harder. You’re not thinking, Aran.”
“Why should I? I’m here because you brought me here after you stuck a needle in my body, satisfied?”
“No. That’s how you eventually got here. It mentions nothing about the reason.”
The Doberman kept staring down Aran’s eyes, which was both dulling and intimidating.
“What do you want from me?” the wolf asked in an attempt to relieve the tension.
“I want you cooperate by answering my question. Why are you here?”
“I don’t know, okay?” Aran grumbled. “I have no idea why I’m here or why you took me here. Jennifer says that you guys want to help me, but I don’t need any help.”
“Don’t you, now?” the Doberman provoked.
“No, I don’t. I can’t think of anything I need help with, or at least something you could help me with.”
Kaiser grinned. Did Aran just say what the Doberman wanted to hear, or was he laughing at him?
“Why are you here, wolf?”
“I don’t know! I didn’t choose to be here!”
The Doberman slammed his fist on the table, pointing at Aran with the index finger of his other hand.
“There! Hold that,” he said.
Aran, who had grown confident of himself over the past minute, suddenly lost all said sense of security.
“What? I don’t get it, Kaiser.”
“Hold on to what you just said.”
“I… I didn’t choose to be here?”
The Doberman nodded. Wait, why was he allowed to nod?
“What do you want with that?”
“Empathy,” Kaiser replied plainly.
“For what? Or whom? You got to give me something! I can’t just make up my answers!”
“Calm down, wolf. It’ll all sort itself out soon enough.”
“What is it with you guys? One moment, you’re about to tell me what’s going on, and the next moment I’m told to shut up and let it come to me. Make up your mind already!”
“I told you to calm down, Aran,” Kaiser reprimanded with a sharp tone. “Back to what you know.”
The wolf took a few seconds to collect his thoughts.
“I didn’t choose to be here, but you say that’s right, and it has something to do with empathy. You’re not telling me who or what I should show empathy for.”
“Correct. What does that tell you?”
“Nothing… I don’t know what it means.”
“That’s not the same. Anyway, it should tell you that the ends are not relevant for now, only the means.”
‘Can this guy speak in something else but riddles for once?’ Aran thought.
“Have you ever felt lost inside?” Kaiser pressed on.
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Somewhere along the line, you allowed yourself to step out and let a stranger inside,” the Doberman stated.
“Could you do me a favor and speak in a language I understand?” the wolf queried.
“You were someone else once.”
“Aren’t we all?” Aran dodged.
“Don’t try to be smarter than me. You’re not. Cooperate, Aran, I don’t have all night,” the Doberman said with an agitated gesture.
“Go back again. You used to be a different person as a child. What happened?”
“Puberty, I guess. What are-” he started, but Kaiser cut him off.
“Shut it!” He shouted, followed by a deep sigh as he rubbed his forehead with the fingers of his left hand. “You are a piece of work.”
For a second time, Aran’s confidence was shattered. ‘This is not like you, Aran. Get yourself together. Whatever Kaiser wants from you, he’s not getting it,’ he thought.
“I’ll try this one more time. If you screw this up, I’m going to leave you to your own and you can figure out for yourself whatever you think is going to work. Got it?” the Doberman said slowly, with a threatening tone.
He did not wait for the wolf to respond.
“You used to be a different person. There are a lot of people out there, just like you. People that have denied, ignored or ran and hid away from their former selves.”
“If I’m just like a lot of other people, then why is this specifically about me?” Aran asked sincerely.
“Among said people, there are many that can help themselves. Some, however, require others to help them.”
“Help? To do what?”
“To return to who they used to be,” Kaiser answered plainly as he got up from his chair.
“But why me? I didn’t ask for all this, did I?” the wolf queried.
The Doberman put his hands on the edge of the table and leaned towards Aran. “That’s right. You didn’t ask for it. Lights out.”
Not waiting for the wolf to respond, he pressed a button that was embedded in the bottom of the protruding table leaf. Immediately, the power to the fluorescent light above the table was cut, leaving the room in utter darkness.
“Hey, why did you do that?” Aran asked, but the Doberman did not respond.
All he heard was a couple of pawsteps, then a provoking silence that was merely disrupted by their breaths. The wolf should have seen it coming, but since it was dark around him, he did not have the slightest notion of Kaiser’s intentions. It was not until the needle of the syringe had already broken the skin of his neck before Aran understood that the conversation was over.

XIII. Traces of faces

The wolf fell back into a deep sleep. His mind, however, had a different opinion and showed him images of the “interrogation room”. Ignorant to the fact that he was dreaming, Aran found himself back on the bolted chair, wearing the harness. On the other side of the table, Kaiser was staring at him.
It took a while before Aran realized that the mouth of the Doberman was moving and that he was probably addressing the wolf with his words. Not all of said words managed to reach Aran’s ears, and some words sounded slurred and twisted.
Only snatches of the conversation penetrated the mind of the wolf, the Doberman did not seem to pick up on that. Instead, the dog turned angry, got up from his chair and kicked it aside. Next up was the table. With a single move, the Doberman flipped it over, but as it hit the ground, it appeared to have vanished altogether.
Aran tried to reason with the dog, but his muzzle failed to move. When he looked back at the Doberman, it was no longer Kaiser’s face he saw, but rather that of a silver-grey wolf he knew very well. He had tried his best to forget about the wolf, but never fully managed to. How could he?
While the silver wolf closed in, the surroundings changed to a resemblance of what Aran’s bedroom looked like when he was a young teenager. He knew what was going to happen, but his mouth refused to speak and he was somehow still tied to a chair by the harness he wore.
“Since you refuse to answer me,” a warped and twisted voice sounded, “I’ll have to beat it out of you!”
The black wolf had guessed right, but there was still nothing he could do. The older wolf punched and kicked him, but he did not seem to land a single hit. However, Aran felt like his chest and all of his limbs were being pounded on with a hammer.
Eventually, the silver wolf figure finished off his rampage by hitting Aran in the face with his fist. On the moment just before the impact, the black wolf woke up from his dream, producing a loud gasp in terror.
With eyes wide open, he found himself back in the crib again, laying on his side, facing away from the door. The harness was switched back for the mittened sleeper. Damian laid next to him, less than an arm length away, but Aran’s muscles failed to cooperate. Even though the wolf did not understand his urge to grab and cuddle the husky, he was still annoyed by his incompetence of giving in to said urge.
Part of him was fine with the situation, wanting to resist indulging in anything childish, but another part was begging for comfort. Even the pacifier, which had fallen out of Aran’s muzzle when he gasped, was too far away to be of any use, although it would have taken little effort to take it back in his mouth. The panic locked up Aran’s muscles, effectively preventing him to move. His bladder had a different opinion and decided to release all the liquid it had accumulated overnight.
His body was still trembling in anxiety, except for his ears. They perked up as they heard a door open, soon followed by the sound of the crib’s side being unlocked. Aran then felt two hands petting his side and shoulder, but the feeling was a painful rather than a pleasant one. The wolf let out a raspy scream, causing the collie to instantly withdraw her hands.
“Your paws hurt!” he shouted.
“Oh Aran, I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to hurt you,” she whispered.
The wolf bundled all of the strength he could muster and rolled over on his back, experiencing even more pain.
“Not your… fault,” Aran groaned.
“Hold on, little one, I’ll be back soon,” Jennifer reassured, then hurried out of the room.
A little while later, she returned. The wolf saw from the corner of his eye that she carried a small puppy bottle in the pouch of her apron.
“I’m going to help you sit up first, pup. It’ll probably hurt, so I need you to be brave. Can you do that for me?”
“I guess…” he muttered.
With combined effort, the canines managed to get Aran into a more or less sitting position, the pillow placed on its side to support the black wolf. Jennifer took the bottle out of her apron and put the nipple in Aran’s muzzle.
“It’s just fluid painkiller, watered down to reduce the bad taste,” she explained.
The word “painkiller” was enough to make Aran empty the bottle, though. He did not care about the taste, even if it would have been vinegar. The collie gently pet the top of his head while he tried to catch his breath.
“Poor wolfie. Can you tell me what’s wrong?” she asked after she put the empty bottle back in the pouch of her apron.
“I… in the interrogation room… Kaiser was there. He kept asking q-questions, and I couldn’t answer them,” Aran stammered.
“It’s okay,” Jennifer tried to console him.
“No it’s not. He hit me… kept hitting and hitting,” the wolf groaned, “and I couldn’t do anything – nothing to defend myself!”
“Kaiser hit you? Are you sure?”
The wolf took a couple of seconds to recollect his thoughts. Meanwhile, he felt that the painkiller was kicking in.
“Not Kaiser. A silver-grey wolf, his face was familiar.”
“Aran, that must have been a dream. You haven’t left the house since you came here,” Jennifer replied, trying to calm down the black wolf.
“It was no dream. Maybe it was, but I’ve been there.”
“What do you mean? Was your dream about a real experience you’ve had?”
Aran nodded.
“My dad has beaten me up lots of times. I know what it looked like, but I couldn’t even defend myself.”
“So your father was in your dream?”
“Yush… I don’t like Kaiser, but I don’t think he’ll beat up someone that’s tied to a chair, will he?”
The collie did not respond to the question.
“I assume the painkiller is working?”
“Kind of, but I still hurt all over.”
“Did that drug dealer really hit you that hard?”
Aran shook his head.
“It’s… different, I guess. It didn’t feel like I was being beaten up. More like, as if my body was on fire beneath my skin.”
“Oh goodness, it’s worse than I’d feared,” Jennifer thought aloud.
“What?” the wolf asked in confusion.
“I’m going to carry you downstairs, will you be okay?” the collie asked imperturbably.
Before Aran could respond, his tongue was surprised by the rubbery feeling of a nipple. Jennifer had put the pacifier back in his muzzle, then handed Damian back to him. The wolf wanted to protest, but felt too weak to put up a fight.
Jennifer grabbed her charge under his knees and shoulders and lifted him from the mattress. Cradling him like a puppy, she slowly and carefully carried him out of the nursery and down the stairs. In the living room, she put him down on a couch. Aran was glad the short trip was over, since the grip of the collie’s hands caused him to suffer.
Meanwhile, the wolf had closed his eyes, as if that would help him to shut out the lingering burning sensation that engulfed his body. Even though the painkiller appeared to be effective at first, its power already seemed to diminish.

XIV. Choice and catharsis

Laying on the couch as still as he could, Aran tried to think of a different place in a desperate attempt to escape the pain. Every move appeared to hurt, except for his fingers, which idly tousled with Damian’s fur.
Not paying attention to anything in particular, the wolf caught snitches of one half of a conversation. Jennifer appeared to be speaking with someone on the phone. From what managed to penetrate Aran’s mind, he could make up that she was discussing his current situation. The call was ended rather abruptly with the collie saying that she would wait for the other person.
Time passed on as Aran struggled. Every now and then, he would open his eyes to glance at the clock above the couch. A good twenty minutes passed before the doorbell rang. Jennifer hurried to the front door and let the visitor in. Aran estimated that it would be the person she spoke with on the phone.
“I’m glad you’re here, even though that means your expectations were correct,” she said.
“Don’t worry, we might be able to turn this around and use it to his advantage,” a familiar voice replied.
Jennifer entered the living room with her visitor. Aran’s ears had not betrayed him.
“I can’t say this often enough, wolfie, but you really are a piece of work,” Kaiser said.
“What’re you doing here?” the wolf muttered.
Kaiser sat down on one knee, next to the couch.
“Listen, Aran, you’re suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Ursaurine can only keep its effect as long as it is taken at least once every forty-eight hours. It has been over three days since your last dose, so you actually surprised me that it took the symptoms so long to develop.”
“I figure you’re not… going to give me ursaurine?” Aran queried, interrupting himself to let out a groan.
“On the contrary,” the Doberman said, producing a small glass bottle from his pocket, “Rehab is part of your treatment, remember?”
“Then what’s inside that?” the wolf asked, referring to the lime green transparent liquid in the bottle.
“This is a chemical compound that will greatly relieve the burning pain. It does so by counteracting the chemical reactions in your brain that cause the phantom pain. Your brain is merely making you believe that you’re in pain, while it’s in fact a subliminal request for more ursaurine. Do you get all that?”
Aran nodded.
“Now, as you might have expected, everything comes with a price. This antidote, to put it bluntly, has a few side effects. Since the chemical targets parts of your brain that control muscle movement and motor skills, your strength will diminish and you will have less… accuracy when moving your limbs, so to speak.”
“You said that like I have a choice.”
“In a certain way, you do. Either you take the antidote and lose some of the grasp on your body, or you take painkillers until it’s over. The latter, however, will target the effect rather than the cause, and since the pain is not actually physical, you’ll probably still suffer.”
The wolf remained silent for a while to ponder his options.
“How bad are those side effects?”
“I’ve used it with a couple of other charges that had used steroids, but the effect varies. Some of them just became a little clumsy, while others lost the ability to walk properly. Don’t worry, though, it probably won’t affect your mind, and it’s not permanent. ”
“W-will I still be able to talk? I mean, being dressed and treated like a puppy is one thing, but speaking like one is a step I’m absolutely not willing to take.”
“And being treated like a puppy is?” Kaiser countered.
Aran put up a pouty face.
“Sorry, that was inappropriate. So far, we haven’t had a charge that suffered from speech impediment as a side effect. I can’t guarantee you won’t either, but if there is a chance, it would be slim.”
The wolf inhaled sharply, then let the air out in a deep sigh.
“Fine. I’ll take the risk.”
“Antidote it is?” Kaiser verified.
Aran nodded and the Doberman turned to Jennifer, who had been waiting in the background.
“When you screw the cap off the bottle, the glass tube connected to it will serve as a pipette. One dose should be enough for him, judging by his weight and size.”
“How many doses should I give him on a daily basis?”
“One in every eight to ten hours, depending on his condition. Should he still feel the effect of his withdrawal, contact me again.”
The wolf was relieved to hear that, although the Doberman was not kind to him, Kaiser was not cruel either. Both dogs appeared to be concerned about Aran’s health.
“Just take one dose and water it down a little, like you do with the painkiller.”
Jennifer nodded. “How long will I have to give this to him?”
“Start with three days. He’ll probably be okay after that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some more… business to attend to,” the Doberman replied.
“Sure. You know the way out.”
As our visitor left the house, Jennifer rinsed the bottle the wolf had drank from earlier. She then put in a dose of the antidote and watered it down. With the potion of redemption in hand, the collie turned to her charge.
“You know the drill by now, pup?”
Aran tried to sit up, but moved too fast, which caused a surge of pain flaming through his back. Whimpering, he relaxed his muscles and prepared to face the feeling of his upper body falling back down on the couch.
However, Jennifer had noticed this just in time and reflexively caught the wolf. Her grip still hurt him, but it was better than the alternative. Sitting on her knees, next to the couch, she supported Aran’s upper body with one hand and fed him the small bottle with the other. Within seconds, Aran had drained the bottle.
“Yech,” he muttered, showing a face of disgust.
“Did it taste that bad?” Jennifer half joked.
Aran nodded, then stayed silent for a while as the collie scratched him behind his ear.
“Jennifer? Are you taking advantage of me?” the wolf asked.
“What? No, I’m just trying to make you feel comfortable.”
“That’s not what I meant. This whole rehab thing... I feel like you’re using my withdrawal as an excuse.”
“An excuse? For what?” the collie asked with genuine curiosity.
“For everything. Treating me like I’m your puppy, the clothes, the husky,” he summed up.
“The diaper?” Jennifer filled in.
“More than anything else. Why do you do this to me?”
The collie compassionately shook her head.
“How long are you going to keep asking those questions?”
“As long as you refuse to answer them. You said that everything would sort itself out eventually, but I still don’t understand it. I don’t need any of this and I didn’t ask for it. I want to go home!”
“Home? To your mother?”
Aran growled.
“You’re doing this on purpose! Stop playing dumb, you know exactly what I mean!”
“Little one, first of all, I have been clear about raising your voice to me. Since you’re already dealing with enough suffering for now, I won’t punish you, but I won’t forget this either. Second, I don’t think you understand the gravity of your situation. You speak of going home, but your words tell me that you don’t have a home.”
“How can you tell that? Besides, I do have a home. I live with my best friend and I’m perfectly content with that.”
“Correction: you used to live with your best friend,” the collie replied sharply, “He was arrested a few days ago, remember? He even got betrayed by another ‘friend’ of yours. And how I know this, you ask? You’re not my first charge, remember?”
The wolf remained silent, intimidated by Jennifer’s outburst. A few seconds later, she sighed.
“Sorry, Aran, I’m not supposed to talk to you like that. I understand that you’re confused and you want to know the meaning behind what we do. My other charges were less rebellious than you were, but maybe they were actually docile and I was lucky with them.”
“I-I… I’m lost, Jennifer,” Aran said in confusion, “Are you mad at me?”
“In a way I am, but that’s just because you’re not behaving the way I’d like to see, so that’s essentially my problem. This is about you, though, not about me. We’re only trying to help you, Aran. It’ll be easier and faster if you cooperate.”
Somehow, the wolf felt sorry for his caregiver, but on the other paw, he still wanted her to let him go.
“But I don’t even know what you guys want from me, so how can I give you anything?
“You make a valid point, little one. I cannot tell you about our intentions, though, since most of our program doesn’t work properly when the charge knows what’s coming. However, I might be able to give you some insight on our motivations.”
“Really?”
“Probably, yes. But I want to see some improvement in that attitude of yours before I can give you such a reward,” she said sternly, but kindly, “And don’t bother trying to fake it, as I know well enough if you’re playing pretend. Do you understand me?”
Aran pondered for a few seconds, but finally gave in, albeit reluctantly.
“I’ll try to be good,” he said with a tone of defeat.
“That’s my puppy.”
Jennifer put her hand on the front of Aran’s diaper and gently squeezed it.
“Hey! Whatcha doin’?” he said, wanting to move away from her, but his body refused.
“No need to be jumpy, little one,” Jennifer reassured, “I was only checking your diaper. You’d better get used to that.”
The wolf crossed his arms and put up a pouty face.
“Looks like you could use a change, am I right?”

XV. Like I care

Aran’s ears drooped and he instinctively tried to hide his face behind Damian. Being forced to wear and use diapers was embarrassing by itself, being reminded of this submission was as such all the more. Jennifer surely noticed this, but purposely did not comment on it.
“I’d better not carry you back upstairs, should I?”
The wolf shivered and shook his head.
“I’ll get some supplies from your nursery instead. Will you be okay in the meantime?”
“I guess. Can you put me back down again, please?”
“Of course. Take it easy, little one,” Jennifer guided.
With the collie’s help, Aran slowly laid back.
“I’ll be right back,” she said with a wink and she ascended the stairs.
A few minutes later, she returned with what looked like a large messenger bag in her hand. It was not a normal messenger bag, however, since it bore a bone-shaped appliqué with the word “puppy” on the front. Aran soon realized that it was a diaper bag.
The collie rummaged round in the bag and got the necessary items out, starting with a diaper pad. With some pain and a little effort, the canines managed to get Aran’s sleeper off. Jennifer took his diaper off as well and cleaned up his private area.
Careful not to put any more physical strain on her charge than necessary, the collie finished up the changing with some puppy powder and a fresh diaper. During the entire process, Aran firmly held on to his plushie, looking at anything but at the changing.
“Is the antidote kicking in yet?” Jennifer queried as she zipped up Aran’s sleeper.
“Don’t think so. It still feels like I’m being slow roasted,” the wolf replied with a grunt.
“Have faith, little one. You’re not the first charge Kaiser has used this compound on. It has proved itself in the past and it’ll work for you as well.”
“I sure hope so,” Aran scoffed. “This’ll drive me mad if it doesn’t dwindle soon.”
“You’ll be okay, puppy. I’ll leave you in your sleeper, so you can take a nap whenever you want. We’ve had a charge before who had experienced drowsiness as a side effect, so don’t be surprised if you feel tired.”
The wolf nodded, then waited silently for Jennifer to put everything back in her bag again. When she was done, he spoke up.
“Jennifer, I… I feel so confused.”
“What’s on your mind, little one?”
He closed his eyes. Making eye contact with the collie was distracting and socially awkward for the wolf.
“Something inside me strongly urges me to hate you and Kaiser. You took me in and treat me like a puppy without my consent, and as if that weren’t enough, you’re making me give up ursaurine. This pain I experience, the anxiety, the nightmares… is that all part of withdrawal?”
“I’m afraid so, pup. It’ll pass, but there’s not much we can do besides Kaiser’s antidote.”
“That’s where it gets confusing. My mind constantly screams that I hate you, and Kaiser even more so, b-but… instead of hate, my instinct tells me that I should put my trust in you when I’m scared, and I can assure you that the nightmare I had really scared me.”
The wolf paused for a few seconds to find the right words.
“I don’t know what you guys are doing to me, and I’d hate you under any other circumstances, but I somehow just can’t manage to do it. In the very beginning, I was furious at you, but… I don’t understand what I think of it anymore.”
Jennifer smiled.
“It’s not out of the ordinary that this experience puzzles you, Aran. We’re not exactly following any conventional textbook here.”
“B-but I can… it doesn’t make sense anymore. I’m afraid of what you guys are going to do with me! Normally, I’d fight back, but my body convinces me that I’ll be powerless against you. Such thoughts scare me, but you’re also the one I’m inclined to seek comfort in. It’s like I’m happy and sad at once, or safe and in danger at the same time.”
“Don’t think too hard about all this, Aran. We’ve said it before, but I’ll repeat it for you: most of your questions will answer themselves. Try to make the most of the present for now, and don’t worry about the future. Trust me, I’ll take care of you,” Jennifer said while scratching Aran behind his ear.
“How can I trust you? And why can’t I push myself to say that I hate you? It just doesn’t make sense!”
“Easy, little one, don’t hurt yourself. Maybe you find it hard to think of me as your enemy simply because I’m actually on your side. You might find it hard to believe, but I care about you, pup.”
“Only because it’s your job,” Aran nuanced.
The collie shook her head.
“Guarding and enhancing your welfare is my job. Caring about you is something altogether different. Some of my colleagues do this because they want to improve society, others are in all this to give other people a same kind of second chance they received for themselves.”
“What about you?”
“That’s private. Maybe I’ll explain that to you later. Regardless of my motivation, I genuinely care about you, Aran. A few of my colleagues had some hesitations concerning my choice to accept you as my next charge. However, as soon as I actually met you, I knew that there would be no better place for you than here, with me.”
“You care about me?”
“You could bet your bottom dollar on that, little one,” Jennifer said affectionately.
“But how? You barely know me, and I’ve never done anything for you. How can you care for me, in return for nothing?”
“I’m not going to explain how you’re wrong about that, but let’s say that what I do for you is not for nothing at all. Trust me and believe that I care for you like a mother would care for her puppy. My other two charges had difficulties accepting that as well, but don’t let that disturb you. What I do for you is not a form of theatre play, Aran.”
Jennifer remained silent for a moment to let her words sink in.
“Fine, that’s enough for now. Are you hungry?”
“Not really, but I’m a little thirsty.”
“I’ll prepare a bottle for you. Sitting up in the highchair is probably not a good idea right now.”
Aran wanted to protest and demand some chewable food, but decided against being fussy. Besides, nursing from a bottle would require only minor physical effort, which was a welcome feat when every move inflicted serious pain.

XVI. Watch and learn

Jennifer soon returned with a large puppy bottle in her hand. The bottle contained a milky colored substance. She helped her charge to sit up and supported his upper body while attempting to put as little physical strain on him as possible.
Aran nursed from bottle with a steady pace, while his caregiver smilingly hummed the tune of a nursery song. The liquid had a familiar taste; the wolf recognized it as the formula he had drank on his first day.
Eventually, he had drained the bottle and Jennifer took the nipple out of his muzzle. She put the empty bottle down on the coffee table, then sat back and tried to make Aran comfortable.
“There, there. That feels better, doesn’t it?”
The wolf nodded slowly.
“Seems like you were hungrier than you thought,” Jennifer mused.
“My entire body feels weird, so I’m not really accurate at estimating anything, I guess.”
“That’s okay,” she reassured.
There was a short silence.
“Jennifer? While I was waiting for you to get that bottle, I was looking around a bit and something struck me as odd.”
“What is it, pup?”
He extended his arm, pointing in the general direction of the fireplace.
“There’s a picture of a dog on the mantelshelf. He’s dressed like puppy, but it looks like he’s only a bit younger than me.”
The portrait showed a happy smiling Golden Retriever, dressed in navy blue shorts and a plain green t-shirt. The shirt was too short to hide the waistband of a diaper peaking out, however. To complete the image, there was a pacifier connected to the collar of the dog’s shirt by a cord and a clip.
“That’s Wesley, my first charge. He was seventeen when that picture was taken.”
“Do you have a picture of your other charge as well?”
“No, I snapped that photo as a keepsake. I took it on the day I heard that Wesley had graduated.”
“Did he still attend high school while he was your puppy?”
“Oh no, of course not. He graduated from our program, which means that he had overcome his personal problems and was ready to face society again. The pup finished his high school about two years ago.”
“But why don’t you have a picture of your other charge? Hasn’t he graduated yet?”
“It’s a she, actually, but she indeed has not graduated yet. I’ve taken care of her for quite a few months now, but there are still some hurdles she has to overcome.”
“Wait, if she’s still your charge, where is she now?” Aran asked, cocking his head.
“She’s sleeping over at a fellow caregiver, so you can get accustomed to your treatment on your own pace.”
“Will she return here?”
“Of course, little one. She’s not done yet. Besides, interaction with other puppies is a vital part of our program. It’s all about rehabilitating people, which can be required in various ways. Most of it is socially and emotionally, but we also have charges like you, who need to break bad habits like drug usage. Speaking of which, are you feeling better already?”
“It doesn’t feel like I’m on fire anymore, but on the other paw, that doesn’t mean that I feel great either.”
“We’ll just take it easy. I didn’t have any big plans for you today anyway, so it won’t hurt.”
Aran groaned.
“Sorry, I meant that figuratively,” Jennifer corrected herself.
“That’s okay,” he said, followed by a sigh. “I don’t feel like doing anything at the moment. Is that a problem?”
“I don’t think so. You know what? I could carry you to the playroom, so you can watch some television, would you like that?”
“I guess so,” Aran replied, but a thought hit him when Jennifer lifted him from the couch. “I suppose you’re not going to let me watch anything that suits my age, are you?”
“I have a wide collection of cartoons and movies that are just fine for puppies, don’t worry,” she reassured.
“We both know that’s not what I meant,” Aran pouted.
“Don’t fret, little one. You might actually enjoy it.”
The collie opened the door with her elbow and put her charge down on a soft beanbag chair Aran had not noticed earlier. She took a key from her pocket and unlocked the wooden cabinet, revealing a fairly large television. The wolf tried to position himself in such a way that he felt the least uncomfortable while Jennifer turned the television on.
“Since you’re probably going to pout about any piece of my collection, I’ve picked a show for you. Maybe you’ll like it.”
“It’s not for actual puppies, is it?”
Jennifer chuckled.
“Why d’you ask? You are a puppy, remember?”
The wolf wanted to reply, but ultimately decided to keep his muzzle shut. He was not really up for an argument. Besides, the collie would probably win. Aran leaned back a little and decided to watch at least a part of the show in case Jennifer was planning to ask him questions about it.
Like Aran expected, he did not find the show enthralling at first, and the theme song was even within the range of ‘annoying’. The cartoon was about five youngsters that got themselves in all kinds of trouble, only so the watchers within the target audience could learn from the mistakes the cartoon characters made.
He quickly lost his focus on the plot and let his thought wander, in a state of mind somewhere between waking and sleeping. Just before the end of the episode, something caught Aran’s attention. A black Labrador, who was apparently one of the main characters, was engaged in a misunderstanding with a roe deer.
They ended up in a socially awkward situation in which both characters had to apologize to each other. The episode ended with the dog writing in his diary about what he had experienced. In his last paragraph, the young Labrador wrote that he found it hard to apologize for what he had done, but that it made him feel better in the end.
Aran shook his head with a sigh. If only his problems were as easy to solve as in the show. He would not even begin to think of forgiving his mother for what she did to him, let alone how his father had behaved for all of those years.
No, he did not want their apology. What could he do with that? It was not like the wolf had even the slightest intention of forgiving either of his parents. They had deeply hurt him and no mere apology could make up for that.
On the contrary, Aran had started to teach himself how to box and had begun to take steroids to build his strength, so he could beat up his father the next time he would run into that pathetic pile of canine fur.
He told himself that he did not care whether his father would show remorse. Even if he did, it would be a cold day in hell before Aran would believe the old wolf, let alone appreciate it. His father had had enough chances – his time was up.


############################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################
Author: Vexxus
Timestamp: Jul 6, 2014 at 1:37 PM
Content:

BabyDraco said:

So far quite enjoying it, I hope you keep the story going to the end...

[End of quote]

Don't worry! The story is already done, but I'm not uploading it all at once, because AFAIK there's a threshold for how many characters a message can contain...

############################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################
Author: Vexxus
Timestamp: Jul 7, 2014 at 12:39 PM
Content: XVII. Images of a story

Two more episodes of the animated series passed, but Aran was not really paying attention. Besides that he was getting a bit drowsy, he also caught his mind wandering off to very divergent places. Various events and people crossed his mind. Recent events, like Mike getting caught and the failed drug deal with Mason, but also people that had not had a direct influence on his life for the most recent years.
People that paid no real attention to the wolf, while they must have known that he was suffering from his home situation. This brought his mind to his parents, how they divorced, how his mother did not appear to care for him. Inevitably, Aran’s father came into the picture.
As if he could physically fend off these thoughts, the wolf made a firm pushing gesture, telling himself that this would help to get rid of the bad memories. He tried to think of something else, going back further in time to someone he lost earlier.
Damian, the good-hearted jackal. Always full of mischief and never out of ideas for playing. The canine made up his own games and was a natural at devising challenging games with simple rules. Whether they were on the playground, in the backyard or in his room, the jackal never seemed to be out of ideas. Aran could not remember that he had ever been bored while he was in Damian’s company, not once.
Boredom was what hit the wolf straight in the muzzle when the jackal moved away, though. Not only was Damian a good friend, he was Aran’s only friend for many years. The wolf could have been better off if he had more friends, but he never felt alone when he and Damian were still living close together.
The move was nearly unannounced. Damian’s father had gotten a promotion that required him to move on a short term, and even though he knew this, the jackal informed his son fairly late about the event that would change his young life.
In the years that followed, Aran became increasingly withdrawn towards his parents. He did have some acquaintances, but nobody to call his friend, until he met that certain brown bear. His real name was Mikaïl, but he preferred to call himself Mike.
The bear was the child of two immigrants from the northern neighboring country that had come looking for a job. Since Mike was a minor back then, he had moved with his parents. It was almost as if fate had played an ironic joke. Aran had lost a friend because said friend moved away, while Mike had moved away from everyone he had known himself.
They had met each other in the tenth grade and became close friends. Bears tend to share their lives with only a few people, but those they allow to come near will not be disappointed. They are not solitary, but they just thrive in smaller groups. Whether the group is made up out of other bears or not is irrelevant.
Being a wolf, Aran felt empathic for Mike. Wolves are less solitary than bears, but Aran had spent six lonely years without any friends. Some would say they had a click, others would call it chemistry. In the end, they became partners in crime – first figuratively, but later literally so.
When Aran complained about his home situation to his friend, the bear told him about the apartment he would be renting as soon as he would graduate from high school. The wolf was more than grateful when Mike invited him to share the apartment so Aran could break free from his mother.
It did not take the wolf very long to make a decision. Leaving his parental home would mean abandoning the place of his mother’s indifference and his father’s physical abuse. Maybe he could start over together with his best friend.
Unfortunately, Aran did not get very far. After almost three years, he had had a few part-time jobs that did not yield enough money to pay for the rent. He and Mike split that cost, of course, but they had a hard time finding a decent job. Both of them had only finished high school and did not attend any specialized education, which severely diminished their chances on the labor market.
The situation changed when Chris showed up at their place one night. The weasel was one of Mike’s acquaintances and he had a job offer. The job itself, however, was all but legal. After the first success, both the wolf and the bear grew hungry for more. Not only did their illegal practices produce more than enough money to pay their rent, it moreover supplied the two friends with an almost addictive dose of adrenaline.
Aran’s train of thought was disrupted when Jennifer entered the room and turned the television off. The wolf had not even noticed that the fourth and last episode on the disc had ended and that he had been staring at a blank screen for quite some time.
“Are you all right, little one?” she asked.
He furiously shook his head, as if he had been asleep, then looked at his caregiver.
“I guess. As long as I don’t feel like I’m on fire, it’s better than what I woke up with.”
“That’s not the same as feeling all right,” Jennifer said, petting his head. “Apart from the pain, is there any other effect you experience? Kaiser requested that I’d ask you about side effects.”
“I’m a bit drowsy, that’s all.”
The collie smiled, picking up the stuffed husky from the floor and handing it back to her charge.
“I can carry you upstairs for a nap,” she suggested.
“Please don’t,” he rejected. “Going downstairs was awful enough and I don’t feel like sleeping anyway. It’s like I’m too sleepy to pay attention, but too awake to actually sleep.”
“So we’re looking for a ‘quiet time’-activity,” Jennifer thought aloud. “How about you draw me something nice?”
“Drawing? Really?”
“Kaiser’s report mentioned that you’ve drawn quite a lot before your parents divorced.”
“The keyword here being ‘before’. After my folks split up, I’ve drawn only a pawful of pictures. I’ve tried to pick up a pencil again when I moved out, even charcoal, but I can’t do it anymore.”
“Come on, pup, a talent doesn’t disappear overnight, does it?”
“Maybe not, maybe it does. You don’t know what it’s like to stare at a blank sheet of paper for two hours and still be physically and mentally unable to draw anything.”
“Was it that bad?”
Aran nodded.
“I even tried to draw during or shortly after I tripped on ursaurine, but even that didn’t help. Mike suggested other drugs, but I wasn’t even fully comfortable with the steroids yet.”
“I see. Well, you’re in a different place and a different environment now. Besides, I don’t have charcoal, but I do have crayons for you. Maybe a change of material will help you.”
The wolf sighed.
“To be honest, I really don’t feel like drawing. It seems like it’s not really doing anything for me anymore.”
“Then do it for me,” Jennifer encouraged resolutely. “Please?”
Aran hesitated for a moment, but then gave in. The collie replied with a hug, careful not to squeeze the stuffed husky between them.
“Do you know where to find the crayons?”
“Yush, I came across them yesterday when I was looking for toys.”
“Good. I don’t expect you to create a masterpiece, but I’d really appreciate it if you drew me something.”
“That’s the problem, I don’t even know what to draw,” the wolf replied, scratching his right temple.
“Just hold onto the first image that comes to your mind. Every piece of art tells a story, whether you understand that story or not. Good luck, pup, and enjoy yourself,” she encouraged once more, then she left the playroom.
Somewhat reluctantly, Aran got up from the beanbag chair and slowly walked over to the toy boxes, opening the one that contained drawing equipment.

XVIII. Story of an image

Rummaging through the toy box, Aran eventually found a sketchbook and a tin of thick colored chalk. The sketchbook had obviously been used, as it showed clear signs of the first few pages being torn out. The wolf laid down on the floor, flat on his chest. With his plush husky not too far away from him, he opened the canister and examined the crayons.
As one might expect, most of the pencils were brightly colored. Red and blue and yellow, but also green and purple and orange. The canister contained a few more exotic colors as well, but Aran did not feel like drawing in color.
After all, he had even used charcoal in the most recent phase of his artwork. The wolf did not know whether he felt emotionally or biologically drawn to the properties of the burned wood. Black as the night itself, and nearly impossible to erase. Charcoal typically characterized the strongest of Aran’s memories.
He finally found what he was looking for. Ignoring the ordinary grey colored pencil, the wolf settled for the only black colored piece of chalk and took it in his hand. Just before the wolf let the tip of the pencil touch the paper, still not knowing what he was going to draw, he froze as if he was struck by lightning.
Flashes of images passed before his eyes, some of them fantasy, but most of them were real. Memories of pictures he drew, the blank page he had stared at in his apartment, the time he tried to draw while he was high, and other visions that did not take a clear enough form to be discernible or recognizable.
It was as if the empty page in the sketchbook was the same white sheet of paper that had tormented and taunted Aran when he tried to draw for the last time. He also remembered that he had found it hard to draw after his parents had split up, which struck the wolf as strange, since his father was usually the one that disturbed his creative process rather than stimulating it.
Aran could even remember his father trashing his bedroom, tearing or otherwise destroying a good portion of his drawings. Some of them were prized pieces, pictures the young wolf really loved. Once again, the black wolf tried to push the memories of his father away, but he failed.
The visions became stronger and more intrusive. Parts and pieces of Aran’s late childhood emerged and played before the poor wolf’s eyes, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Later on, memories of his most recent nightmare mixed in with the images. In the end, Aran was not even sure whether he was afraid or angry, and neither did he know whether he felt said emotions for his father or for Kaiser.
Suddenly, the visions stopped and the wolf was left with nothing but a blank sheet of paper again. He breathed heavily for a while, but eventually he got himself together. With determination, he started to sketch. Even though the result would not be pretty, he now knew what he wanted – no, needed – to draw. If Jennifer was not content with this, nothing else could satisfy her.

When he was busy with the final touches, the collie came in to check up on her charge, as if she knew Aran was done.
“I see you’ve found something to draw after all,” she praised.
Not only did this comment break Aran’s concentration, it also startled him. A split second later, the wolf noticed that his bladder had decided to let loose in a pinch.
“Oh, I’m sorry, did I scare you?”
Aran tried to stop his wetting, but his attempts were fruitless.
“Kind of,” he confessed softly, after his bladder had emptied itself completely.
“Is something the matter, little one?”
The wolf grabbed his plushie and tried to hide his face, with drooping ears and his tail between his legs.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Don’t be afraid, puppy, you know you can tell me anything.”
Jennifer’s words shook Aran out of his fright and he looked back up at his caregiver.
“I kinda just wet myself.”
“Is that all?” she played down.
He shook his head.
“I didn’t even feel the urge, and I didn’t feel it coming either!”
“Hush, Aran, it’s okay. You’re wearing a diaper for a reason,” Jennifer reassured.
The wolf felt embarrassed. He was twenty years old, for crying out loud! He did not need a diaper!
“We’ll take care of that later. Are you going to tell me what you’ve drawn?”
Aran turned back to his drawing and showed the picture to his caregiver. The image displayed a shadowy canine figure, clearly agitated. Its fist was raised, as if it was ready to strike the viewer. The perspective suggested that the viewer had been beaten to the ground, with the figure standing at their paws.
“You asked me to draw the first thing that came to my mind. It’s not exactly the first thing, but as soon as I started drawing, there was nothing else I could think of.”
“This person… it’s your father, isn’t it?”
The wolf nodded.
“I’m sorry if you wanted me to draw a house, a tree and a yellow sun with a smiling face.”
“Don’t be silly, Aran. I told you that I didn’t expect a masterpiece, but regardless of the quality, the picture you just drew tells something about you.”
“Not to me. It’s just one of the many bad memories I have.”
“Try listening to your own artwork, little one. It tells me the story of a young wolf that has never been appreciated by his father. He knows only what it feels like to be hurt, both physically and emotionally. In the end, the youngster became older and started to hate his own father, bitter about what he had had to face.”
Aran remained silent for a short while, trying to verbalize his thoughts.
“Could you please not say such things?” he finally managed to utter.
“Why not? You’re the one that drew this picture, Aran. It says something about you.”
“I know, but there are things about myself that I’ve tried to suppress.”
“Don’t worry, pup. You’ll be okay. Pictures like these are one of the reasons why you’re here in the first place. Now how about a nice dry diaper?”
Having forgotten about his wet undergarment already, Aran suddenly felt the wetness at his crotch again.
“Um… yush, I’d like that,” he said, somewhat shyly.
“Would you try to carefully tear your drawing from the sketchbook? I’d like to keep it in my room.”
“Really?”
“Very much so. I like it, in a strange way, but it would be wrong to put it on the refrigerator, don’t you think?”
“I wouldn’t want you to do that anyway,” he replied, partly to himself.
“Sit tight, I’ll go get the diaper bag,” Jennifer said and she left the playroom.

XIX. The first take

Jennifer made quick work of changing her charge. She then announced that it was time for dinner. Back in a fresh diaper, Aran braced himself to be put in the highchair. Fortunately, the antidote was doing its job and it did not even hurt when the collie lifted him. With a bib around Aran’s neck and the wooden tray in place, the wolf was ready for his meal.
“Let me guess, you’re going to make me eat that green stuff again?”
“I’m afraid so, Aran. Puppies need their vegetables, and especially the green ones.”
“Can we make a deal?” the wolf tried.
Jennifer sighed.
“You’ll try anything to talk yourself out of it, won’t you?”
“No, no, that’s not what I was aiming at. I’ll take the green stuff and I’ll even start with it.”
“Something tells me there is a condition,” Jennifer replied in anticipation as she put a few jars of puppy food on the dining table.
“Yush. I promise that I’ll be good and eat everything you feed me, but I want you to tell me something in return.”
“I’m listening,” she beckoned, as she put the first jar in the microwave.
“I figure that you’re not going to tell me why I am here, but can you tell me more about Wesley? I’d like to know what kind of dog he is and why he ended up in this place.”
She considered the offer for a few seconds, opening the jar of the dreaded green vegetable mush she had retrieved.
“All right, but you’re not going to fuss in any way today, got it?” she said sternly.
“I promise.”
“Good, now open up,” Jennifer replied, scooping up some of the vegetable blend.
Aran proved himself to be a wolf of his word. He ate everything Jennifer fed him, without hesitation or fussing. His dessert was not strawberry yogurt this time, but a different flavor, although he could not discern exactly what fruit it was.
When the wolf had eaten the contents of all the jars on the table, Jennifer took him out of the highchair and put him down on the couch. She then went to the kitchen, only to return with a puppy bottle in hand. The bottle contained only a small amount of liquid, and Aran recognized the color.
“The antidote is doing just fine, I see. Let’s keep it up, little one. I don’t want to see you suffer like that again.”
The wolf eagerly accepted the nipple in his muzzle and drained the bottle. Jennifer got up again and prepared another bottle of formula. When she came back to the couch and offered the drink to her charge, Aran hesitated for a second, but quickly remembered his promise.
“You’re being really good today, pup,” she praised after the wolf had drank all of the formula.
“I don’t really have the energy to annoy you properly,” he replied with a hint of twit.
Jennifer smiled.
“Fine, since you kept your promise, I’ll give you my end of the deal, but I’m missing something.”
“What is it?” Aran asked as he cocked his head.
“Go get your plushie from the playroom, he’s getting lonely all by himself,” she urged.
Aran decided to be obedient and got up from the couch. The collie followed suit and went to the kitchen to put the bottles in the dishwasher. When she returned, her charge had already taken his place on the couch again, holding the stuffed husky under his arm.
Jennifer joined him on the couch and pulled him a little closer to her. Idly petting his plushie, the wolf waited for his caregiver to tell him what he wanted to hear.
“Wesley was my first charge. I had taken care of other charges for shorter periods as a part of my training, but I never had the full responsibility for anyone before. Of course, Kaiser was my colleague on that case as well. At first, I didn’t really like the Retriever. Kaiser said to me that Wesley would be ‘a piece of work’.”
“He said that about me as well. Is that good or bad?”
“You need a different kind of attention,” Jennifer answered, dodging the actual question. “Wesley was here because his parents had requested it. Not directly, but they eventually ended up with us. They were desperate for help.”
“What was his problem? He looks like a happy dog to me.”
“Don’t forget that the picture was taken when he graduated, pup. Wesley was what some would call a ‘problem child’. He was disrespectful to his parents, swore a lot and he had issues with losing his temper. The dog resorted to physical violence when his words did not have the desired effect. His parents could no longer control him, and when he turned sixteen, they contacted a counselor. It took the parents a few months to figure out that they were part of the problem, but the most visual part of their unhealthy home situation was their son.”
“How did they find out?”
“That’s not important for you, pup. Anyway, the counselor advised them to seek professional help to analyze their way of raising children and to help them become better at it. In the meantime, Wesley would be enrolled in ‘a special program to help him deal with his issues’, as the counselor put it.”
“Did the parents know anything about the kind of treatment their son would get?”
Jennifer shook her head.
“We try to keep that out of the public as much as we can. Besides, they didn’t really care, all they wanted was for their son to change, and they couldn’t do it without help. Even Wesley’s younger sister begged her parents to do something about her brother.”
“I can imagine that he wasn’t too happy when he woke up here, in the crib.”
“That would be a big understatement,” Jennifer laughed. “When he asked me about why I treated him like a toddler, I only answered that he behaved himself like one on social and emotional levels. This, of course, was not what the Retriever wanted to hear, so he started to swear and wanted to hit me. Since we knew that he was violent, Kaiser had been staying with me for the first few days, so we were easily able to subdue him.”
“He didn’t just give up after that, did he?”
“On the contrary. He tried to use my phone on the second day. Unfortunately for him, the phone is password protected. There is a ‘distress call’-function, but that’ll only make the phone connect to my superiors. I can tell you that he wasn’t too happy when I found out about his attempt.”
“What did you do to him?”
“Well, he threw a volley of verbal insults at me. Kaiser picked up on his yelling and intervened before the situation got out of hand. It ended with Wesley in the timeout corner, after we had ‘cleaned’ the inside of his mouth with a bar of soap.”
Aran tried not to laugh, but he could not resist doing so.
“Did he ever try to escape?”
“Once,” the collie replied dryly.
“What happened?”
“Kaiser caught him as he tried to leave through the back door. It didn’t end pretty for the Retriever. Of course, he wanted to swear again and started to thrash when Kaiser put him in a headlock.”
“Let me guess, more soap and timeout?”
“Yush. After his timeout, Kaiser and I put him in a harness with a leash. I really didn’t want to do that, but it was for his own good. Believe it or not, but I felt compassionate about Wesley.”
“How? He was insulting you and he wanted to beat you up. Sounds just like my dad to me,” Aran replied.
“That’s where it gets interesting. Wesley used to be nice and polite when he was a young child. He wasn’t born violent, but he became like that and his parents proved themselves unable revert that change. After three days of wearing a harness and being limited to wherever Kaiser or I would lock his leash to, he finally gave up. Even though I didn’t believe him at first, he seemed to understand that there were two of us and only one of him, and that I was in charge.”
“Did he still submit to you when Kaiser left? Or was he with you all the time?”
“Oh goodness, no. After a week or two, Kaiser trusted the situation enough to leave me with Wesley. During those two weeks, the Retriever had spent quite some time in the corner with suds in his muzzle. I lost track of how many times I’ve had to wash his mouth during his time here.”
“What changed? I mean, how did he change?”
“Eventually, through various methods I’ve learned, and through conversations with another colleague of mine, who is a psychologist, he started to see what his treatment was all about. I had to be stern with him, basically raising him again by disciplining him and explaining that I constitute rules and boundaries because I cared for him. It was all for his own good, but it took him a while to understand that.”
“So this is for my own good as well, even though I don’t see how?” Aran queried.
Jennifer nodded.
“Like I said before, all will be revealed in time. You’re a different person than Wesley and you’re here for a different problem, but in the end, it’s only to help you.”
“I see. But tell me, did you find out how or why Wesley became so violent?”
“Eventually, yush. It appeared that his parents had not set boundaries or enforced them. Wesley had made a habit out of not keeping his side of an agreement, since there were no negative consequences.”
“So basically, his folks had been too liberal?”
“All three of them needed help. In the end, the parents were glad that they had learned to take better care of their pups and they were very grateful to receive their changed son back.”
“And Wesley? What about him? What did he think of his treatment?”
The collie stared at the picture on the mantelshelf for a few second.
“Look at him, Aran,” she urged. “Do you see that smile?”
“Yush,” he replied without emotion.
“That’s real, little one. His parents weren’t the only people happy to see that their son had changed.”
There was a short silence.
“Will my parents be like that as well? I can’t imagine my dad being content about me. He rarely ever was.”
“It’s not all about your father, pup. This is about you in the first place. I don’t care how long it’ll take, but one day, there will be a picture of you on my mantelshelf, and you’ll be smiling just like Wesley did.”
The wolf did not reply to Jennifer’s musing, mostly because he did not know what to say. The collie then broke the silence again.
“Come, pup. It’s past your bedtime. You have a big day ahead of you.”
Being able to climb the stairs again, Aran slowly ascended the steps, carrying Damian with one hand and holding onto Jennifer’s hand with the other. This time, he was not even mad that he had to take them one at a time. He felt like his undergarment was thicker than the one he had worn during the day, and he concluded that Jennifer had put him in a nighttime diaper.
Once upstairs, he felt the effect of the antidote kicking in again, and he was glad that he would get some sleep. However, as Jennifer lowered the side of the crib, Aran grew restless, despite his weariness. Being an experienced caregiver, the collie picked up the subconscious signal her charge was sending out.
“What’s up, Aran? Are you afraid to go to sleep?”
He nodded, with his tail tucked between his legs.
“Is it because of the nightmares?” she asked as her charge sat down on the mattress.
The wolf shook his head.
“Kaiser.”
She smiled and reassuringly petted his back.
“Don’t worry, little one. He won’t bother you tonight.”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” Jennifer replied, handing Aran his pacifier. “Now be a good puppy and go to Dreamland, okay?”
Aran laid down and cuddled up to his plushie, hiding his body under the covers as if the cloth could shield him from any harm. The collie gave him a quick lick on his forehead before sliding the side back up and latching it. She turned the baby monitor on and left the nursery, but the wolf did not notice any of that. He was already fast asleep.

XX. The second take

The next morning, the wolf woke up in Jennifer’s arms. She had unlocked the crib and lifted Aran from the mattress, a disturbance that abruptly ended his sleeping. Still groggy and half awake, he felt her take him to the chair next to his crib.
The rocking motion of the cradling caused Aran’s diaper to shift a little, which in turn made him realize that the garment was no longer dry.
“Hey there, little wolfie. Are you in there somewhere?” she said, looking into his eyes.
Aran did not respond and patiently waited for his caregiver to explain what she was doing.
“I’ve got a nice bottle for you, pup. Are you thirsty?”
The wolf nodded slowly.
“Good. I’ll have to take your pacifier from you, though.”
Before Aran could protest, not that he wanted to, the collie did as she announced. There was no room to speak, though, as she quickly exchanged the pacifier for the nipple of the bottle. After the bottle of formula was empty, Jennifer fed him a dose of the antidote again.
“Have you thought about what I told you yesterday?” she asked after Aran was done.
“Yush, but even though I get why Wesley was here, I still don’t really understand what I am doing here.”
Slightly agitated, the collie carried him back to the crib.
“Did I say something wrong?” he asked, as she put him down on the mattress.
Jennifer did not respond. She slid up the bars and latched them in place.
“I… Are you mad at me?”
She sighed.
“No, little one. I’m not mad.”
“Then why did you put me back here? Do you want me to sleep again?”
“On the contrary. You’d probably want to stay awake for what’s coming,” the collie replied without a trace of emotion.
Aran turned to his caregiver, his face pressed against the side of the crib, his muzzle between the bars.
“What did I do wrong?”
“Trust me, if you knew what kind of answers I can give you to that particular question, you would’ve probably preferred to swallow your words.”
This sudden change of mood frightened the black wolf. Instinctively, he grabbed his stuffed husky, hoping that the plushie could supply him with a little comfort now that his caregiver was not doing so.
“Since you can’t seem to figure out why you’re here, I’ve arranged something for you. There are conditions concerning your participation, though. Or rather, your lack of participation.”
“What conditions?”
“You will stay in your crib. It doesn’t matter if you sit or lie down, but you stay in there. Second, you will keep your back to the door until I allow you to do otherwise. Lastly, you are forbidden to speak.”
“I did do something wrong, didn’t I? You are mad at me…”
“Aran, I’m not mad,” Jennifer replied with determination, “but you need to understand this clearly. If you so much as hint that you’ll turn around, I’ll have to punish you, and for each word you speak, I’ll have to spank you.”
“Spank me?” the wolf replied as he grew restless. “Why would you-”
“Just trust me and do as I asked. You’ll be okay,” Jennifer interrupted, giving Aran’s pacifier back to him.
Aran repositioned and turned his back to the door, leaning against the bars of his crib.
“Be a good puppy and wait for me to return, okay?”
The wolf nodded and nervously petted his stuffed husky, trying not to think about the somewhat itchy sensation at his crotch. His anguish grew as the minutes passed, afraid of what would be happening. Why was he not allowed to speak or turn around? And most of all, why did Jennifer threaten to punish him?
His reflections were disturbed by the sudden return of his caregiver. Aran heard the door open, followed by Jennifer entering the room.
“I see you decided to be obedient. Good boy,” she praised. “Are you ready?”
Aran nodded slowly, still uneasy about the mysterious upcoming event.
“You can come in whenever you feel like it,” Jennifer said, obviously not addressing the black wolf.
The door softly creaked as the visitor entered the nursery.
“Hi Aran,” a female voice said. “It really is you, isn’t it?”
He nodded. Something about the voice sounded vaguely familiar, but he could not determine what it was or whom the voice belonged to.
“You probably don’t remember me, but I know very well who you are. I used to be afraid of you, even terrified. For a long time, I feared going to the places where I was sure to meet you. You’ve done some horrible things to me and to a couple of my friends as well.”
A shiver crept up Aran’s spine. Who was this girl, and how did she know him?
“Even years after everything that happened, I felt a strong hate for you. I even cherished my hatred at some point. You’ve hurt me so bad that it scarred my soul, Aran. I didn’t even want to be here in the first place, let alone talk to you.”
Aran tightened his grip around his plushie. Who was this girl? Was her story even true? Was this not just one of Kaiser’s tricks?
“You have forgotten about me, haven’t you? Don’t feel guilty, I understand that. After all, it affected me far stronger than it did you. Even though you have done detestable things, I’ve learned to cope with my hate. I cannot forgive you, not yet, but I’ve started to comprehend why you did what you did.”
‘Why is she telling me that I hurt her, but she doesn’t hate me for it? What strange kind of person is she?’ Aran thought.
“Jennifer told me about your parents, about how your father hated you and your mother didn’t love you, about how your father used to settle disagreements with violence and how your mother refused to defend you. I didn’t see how that was relevant, until she explained the Chain to me.”
‘Chain? What chain?’ the wolf asked himself.
“Still, I don’t think that the Chain is an excuse for your behavior. Every person has the choice to pass it down, or to revolt to its power. You wanted to know why you’re here, well, this is it. Kaiser brought you here to teach you how you can become free of the Chain.”
She remained silent for a few moments, as if she was searching for words. When she spoke again, Aran concluded that the girl had paused because she was on the verge of tears.
“You turned middle school into hell for me and you maybe even felt good about it. I want to forgive you, Aran, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do just that,” she then said resolutely.
The wolf heard someone move, followed by the sound of the door being shut.
“I hope this answers some of your most glaring questions, little one,” Jennifer commented after a while.
Aran did not respond. Instead, he let his head hang low, ears folded flat against his skull.
He finally knew who had been talking to him. Gina Althares, a vixen he used to bully during middle school. The wolf let the pacifier drop from his muzzle.
“I’m here because of her, right?” he asked with both fright and grief.
“It wasn’t by her request, but she is indeed a motive. Are you satisfied now?”
“No…” the wolf barely managed to utter. “She made me recall things I had purposely forgotten. I’m a terrible person.”

XXI. Cycles, chains and timelines

“That’s not true, Aran,” Jennifer consoled.
She lowered the side of the crib and sat down next to her charge.
“But it is! How can I not be a bad person when I’ve done all this? I mistreated someone else to cope with my own abuse. Do I even deserve whatever help you and Kaiser are offering me?”
“You do, in fact. I don’t believe that you are bad. You did bad things and you think and speak about yourself in ways that are sometimes harmful, but after all this, you still have a grasp of conscience. It must be hard to acknowledge that you have been a bully, but you dared to confess that to yourself and to me.”
“You said that like it was an achievement,” he scoffed.
“It is, dear. It proves that you know what is good and that you’re not afraid to tell the truth.”
“That doesn’t help me, does it? I just got reminded of who I used to be during middle school, by the very person I unleashed all my unpleasantness on, to give you a huge understatement.”
“It does help you, Aran. Like you said, this girl is one of our motives for taking you into our program. Now that we’ve revealed a part of our motivation, do you understand why you’re here?”
“I get why you think I need help, and in a way, I certainly agree that there is some dirt I need to deal with. But I don’t want any of this puppy nonsense. I want to leave, Jennifer.”
“Treating you like a puppy is an essential part of your treatment, Aran.”
The wolf looked at her with a resolute expression in his eyes.
“Give me a reason to stay here.”
“You have lived in fear for so long, Aran. I can help you be free of that again, but you’re the one that will have to walk your path.”
“How can you mend what years of bullying have broken? Let alone the damage my parents caused?
“Pup, I can’t stop the rain, but I can stop the tears.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nobody can change the past, but I can help you change your future. I can’t do it for you, but I can show you the way.”
“Still doesn’t explain why you treat me like a puppy. How is that essential?”
“Think of Damian, for example. I gave you a plushie to help you respond to negative emotions such as fear or sadness in a different way. You might not realize it, but you’ve locked some of your emotions away. Whenever you get afraid or sad, you subconsciously hide behind a wall of anger.”
“Do I? I… I’ve seen enough grief in the past few years to know what it feels like.”
“Indeed, but you did not output said grief. Instead, you communicate anger.”
“I don’t believe you. Give me an example,” Aran dared.
“Remember when you moved out? What was the emotion you felt when you left your mother’s place?”
“Anger, of course. That’s a stupid example. I was mad at her for not standing up for me all these years. Don’t I have the right to be angry at her?”
“You do, but that’s not your true motivation, is it? Behind that armor of fury lies something deeper. Can you name it, Aran?”
“Frustration. Are you content now?” he spat back.
“No. That’s an extension of anger. Think harder, little one.”
The wolf pondered for a good minute.
“I guess… it felt like... no. She ignored me, abandoned me while I was practically powerless against my father.”
Jennifer nodded.
“What’s so good about that?” Aran asked.
“That’s what I was looking for, pup. You know what those words indicate?”
He shrugged.
“Sadness. You’ve had to deal with so much grief that you’ve told yourself that you cannot take any more of it. Subsequently, to prevent yourself from getting hurt, your instincts tell you to revert to anger and hide behind fury. It’s a defense mechanism to block off emotions that you think would otherwise make you weak or vulnerable.”
“Is that a good or a bad thing?”
“Neither, actually. It’s just the way our nature and instincts work, but you’re rendered emotionally damaged nonetheless. Do you want to hear another example?”
He nodded.
“When you first woke up here, in your nursery, gagged and blindfolded, what did you feel?”
“I got that. Of course, I was angry at Kaiser, maybe even at Mason. I didn’t know what had happened to me nor who was responsible, but I was angry. However, I think I was afraid as well. Maybe.”
“There was another moment when you were afraid, shortly before I first bathed you. Do you remember?”
“Yush…” he said, looking away from the collie. “I didn’t want to mess myself, but it eventually happened anyway.”
“Can you recall what you did to respond to this emotion?”
“I, um… I think I grabbed Damian. I don’t know why, I somehow felt the urge to do that.”
“Did it help?” Jennifer asked with a smile.
Aran nodded shyly.
“That’s what this is about. We’re pushing you out of your comfort zone, into unfamiliar situations, in the hopes that you’ll find new ways to deal with the emotions you have locked away.”
“So, essentially, you’re damaging me until I can defend myself?”
“No, no, of course not. It just… darn. Let me put it this way: you’ve ran from your fear and grief for years, telling yourself that you needed to be strong. If you wouldn’t put up your armor of indifference and anger, your father might have destroyed you. However, it became your second nature. Your anger turned into a glass house, presenting the illusion that it could provide safety.”
“Why couldn’t it? Before you forced me to withdraw from ursaurine, I was strong enough to defend myself!” Aran reclaimed.
“Only physically so. That glass house cannot protect you, Aran. It’s hollow and brittle. If someone hits you hard enough, it cannot dent. It will shatter.”
“I wouldn’t let that happen. If I’m strong enough, people won’t even try-”
The collie interrupted him.
“It’s not about people, Aran! There are other ways to get hurt!” she exclaimed. For a moment, Aran saw that she was fighting back her tears.
“People can hurt you unintentionally. Loved ones can become sick or pass away. You can’t blame anyone for that, but it’ll still affect you. Being angry won’t solve that, as it won’t help you cope with grief. If you don’t learn to deal with every kind of emotion properly, you’ll eventually get blown away by a painful event. Your glass house will shatter, Aran.”
“What are the consequences?”
“Don’t even start to think about something so dark, little one.”
The collie caressed his muzzle with the back of her hand.
“I don’t want you to shatter, Aran. I love you, just like your mother wanted to love you.”
“My mother… wanted to…” he started, but could not manage to get the next word out of his muzzle.
The black wolf broke down into tears, sobbing loudly. Jennifer pulled him close and hugged him, gently stroking his back and whispering reassuring things into his ear to console him. It took a while, but Aran eventually calmed down again.
“How could she… my mother, does she love me?”
“A lot, little one. More than I ever could.”
“But she disowned me! Treated me like I didn’t exist!”
“No, Aran. Part of what you said about your mother when you left her is true.”
“She did disown me…”
Jennifer shook her head.
“Aran, your mother is not as strong as you are. Even though you have suffered severe emotional damage, I firmly believe that you’ll have a stronger character when you graduate from our program.”
The wolf did not know what to say. Jennifer decided to continue her explanation.
“When she was a teenager, your mother was sexually abused by her own father. If she didn’t comply, he would hit her until she did. She was terrified of her husband whenever he took his anger and frustration out on you. It reminded her of her own father, therefore she didn’t dare to stand up against your dad.”
Judging Aran’s expression, the collie could see that the truth started to seep into his head.
“Like I said, you spoke the truth. She did tell herself not to care about you, because her husband’s abuse would have devastated her.”
Aran remained silent for a while, trembling at what he had heard.
“Jennifer… why does it have to be like this?”
“What do you mean, pup?”
“My life. I descend from an abused female and an abusive male. What does that say about me?”
“That’s why we’re here, to save you from becoming the next link in the Chain.”
“You’re the second to mention a chain. Are you going to explain to me what it is?”
“I already did, although not completely. We believe that no person is born as bad or evil, but that our personalities are by everything that comes our way, both positively and negatively. When a person is hurt or treated badly, be it physically or emotionally, this instinctively calls for revenge. The implicit craving for revenge is mostly silenced when the hurt is passed on to someone else.”
“And the abused… becomes the abuser?”
Jennifer nodded.
“Bad or harmful behavior is part of a downward spiral of negativity, one that can only be stopped when a damaged person deliberately chooses to follow a different path.”
“But if revenge is not the answer, how do I get rid of the urge to execute it?”
“Good question, little one. Forgiveness is an important step. Only that will allow you to carry on without feeling the need to serve with the same sauce, so to speak.”
“Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
“Who? Your mother?”
Aran shook his head.
“Gina.”

XXII. Clean slate

“Time will tell, little one. Don’t let that bother you for now, okay?” Jennifer tried to comfort her charge.
“It doesn’t work like that. I can’t tell myself to not think of something.”
“You’ll be okay, Aran. I’m here for you.”
She ruffled his headfur.
“I think my puppy could use a bath, don’t you think?”
Her suggestion reminded the wolf of his wet diaper.
“Dunno. I um… I could use a change, though.”
“Bath time it is!” Jennifer announced cheerfully, urging her charge to get up from the mattress. “You’ll have to leave Damian here, though. Plushies can’t swim, you know.”
Aran did as she suggested and followed his caregiver into the bathroom. He wanted to take of his sleeper, but the mittens proved to be rather counterproductive when he tried to get a hold of the zipper. Additionally, the wolf appeared to have less control of his motor skills.
‘Must be a side effect of that antidote stuff’ he thought.
“Let me help you, little one,” the collie offered.
He let go of the zipper and allowed Jennifer to take his sleeper off, leaving him in nothing but his well-used overnight diaper.
“Looks like you really needed that, doesn’t it?” his caregiver said, eyeing at Aran’s crotch.
“I-I… it wasn’t on purpose,” he tried to defend himself.
“Of course not,” Jennifer said as she turned the water tap on. “You’re wearing them for a reason.”
Aran shook his head.
“I mean that I can’t remember doing it. D-did I, like, wet myself while I slept?”
“Maybe you did. Before you ask: no, I didn’t spike your drink. Now let’s get you in the tub before you get cold.”
She undid the tapes of his diaper one by one, finishing with the one at the tail, then balled it up and dumped it in the diaper pail next to the changing table. With the thick garment gone, Aran cherished the freedom of being able to put his legs fully together.
With the water still running, Jennifer grabbed the wolf under his knees and armpits and lifted him into the tub. Just like the previous time, there was not much water in there yet, but the temperature was perfect.
The collie noticed that her charge was still feeling uncomfortable, so she used a method that usually worked. She said nothing, but rather hummed the tune of a nursery rhyme to prevent an awkward silence. Paying no attention to Aran’s silent brooding, Jennifer turned the water tap off and started to lather her charge.
A sweet scent of spring flowers filled the bathroom, but the mind of the wolf appeared to be in a different place. The collie took advantage of Aran’s absentmindedness and used a washcloth to clean the fur that covered his crotch. The wolf did not even try to resist or cover his privates.
Since her charge had already closed his eyes, Jennifer could continue without having to talk to him. He probably would not respond anyway, so it was better like that. She then used the showerhead to rinse the shampoo out of Aran’s fur, during which the wolf was still as docile as a lamb.
Jennifer decided that her charge was clean again, so she pulled the plug to let the water drain. In the meantime, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around the black wolf, hugging his shoulders for a short while.
Aran did not expect that and seemed to have lost track of whatever he was thinking of. The collie nudged him to stand up, which he did, still not saying a word. The wolf now look at her curiously, following her every move instead of gazing at nothing in particular, with a hazy look in his eyes.
Standing in the now empty bathtub, he patiently waited for Jennifer to dry him off. She tried to work quickly, so the wolf would not get cold. His tail was the last part to be dried by the towel, a task the collie carried out with more care. Tails are delicate after all.
She then invited him to step out of the bathtub one paw at a time, so she could make sure his paw pads were dry. When the collie was satisfied, she helped him climb the changing table. In contrast to his previous changes, the wolf still watched as Jennifer put him in a clean diaper.
Aran noticed that there were childish prints all over the outer cover, consisting of cartoonish stars, bones, puppy bottles and paw prints. Furthermore, there were two puppy blue stripes parallel to the leg bands. He figured that Jennifer would use all means to convey the message that he was a puppy to her.
The collie offered her hand and lead him back to his nursery, where she picked a pair of dark green shorts and a red t-shirt with a smiley print for Aran to wear. Like before, the clothes did not significantly hide the fact that wolf was wearing a diaper. On the other paw, as long as nobody else saw him, it would still be a problem, but not a big problem. Besides, even though he strongly disliked wearing diapers, the one Jennifer had just put him in was less annoying than the overnight diaper.

The print on Aran’s t-shirt was in stark contrast with his actual face, which showed no trace of happiness. Something was clearly bothering him, but since he determinately kept his muzzle shut, Jennifer could only guess what was going through his mind.
“Little one, what’s wrong?”
Aran did not respond.
“You think that I see you as a bad person, am I right?”
His ears drooped as he looked down.
“I’m just going to repeat myself here. You’re not a bad wolf, Aran. I love you, despite anything you did wrong. And you know what comes with love?”
He looked back up in curiosity.
“I don’t judge you for what you did, but rather for who you are. Now I know that you called yourself a terrible person, but I tell you that you’re wrong. Deep down, you’re still a good puppy. If you don’t believe me, think of last night. You behaved like a polite, well-raised wolf, and I know that you weren’t pretending.”
Aran’s ears perked up.
“Listen, I’m here for you. All I want for my puppy is that he starts believing in himself again, so he can learn to deal with his past, live in the present and become a better person to face the future.”
His eyes showed a craving for something, but the wolf still did not speak up. Jennifer pulled him close and hugged him tight, giving him a lick on his forehead before letting go.
“If you’re in need of comfort, don’t be ashamed to come to me. I’ll never judge you for such a fundamental desire,” she reassured.
The collie picked up Aran’s plushie from the crib and handed it to the wolf, then offered her hand to lead him downstairs.

XXIII. White darkness

Aran still had not said a word since his bath. His caregiver decided that some quiet time might do him good and brought him to the playroom. She rummaged through one of the toy boxes and produced the sketchbook and the canister of colored chalk, encouraging Aran do draw a picture.
Purging his negative emotions by putting them on paper had worked before, and Jennifer trusted that the wolf could do this again. Even though the picture he had drawn showed neither a tree, nor a house, nor a smiling sun, the collie knew that drawing these images might prove helpful for her charge.
With another encouragement and the promise that she would check up on him soon, Jennifer left the playroom. Alone with his thoughts, the wolf looked at the pencils in the canister. Like the previous time, he was not planning to use many different colors. He took the black pencil out and put a bright red colored one next to the sketchbook. Something told him that he was going to need at least one color for accents this time.
Aran let the pencil meet the paper, again clueless of what he should draw. However, like the day before, his mind took over and showed him what his artwork was going to look like. The images were more whimsical than the vision he had seen the day before, but the message was clearer.
The wolf remembered bits and pieces of the time he spent in middle school. A few good memories, like some mischievous stunts he had pulled, but the images soon grew dark. Joy was traded for sadness and peace exchanged for anger.
His attempts to resist these memories were futile as scenes and flashes of how he used to bully Gina invaded his mind. Suddenly, something extraordinary happened. Aran was slipping into an anxiety attack, but his hand was drawing. Guided by his subconscious, the wolf depicted the visions that were playing behind his eyes.

Jennifer, being a dog of her word, came to check on her charge after a while. She had brought him a puppy bottle of lemonade and some cookies. While the collie was usually calm and collected, she almost dropped what she was carrying when she noticed what her charge had been doing.
She glanced at the picture, an image she did not really understand, then looked at the black wolf. He was tensed up, trembling, his eyes closed, tail twitching and the fur in his neck standing up straight. The wolf had been drawing and the pencil was even still touching the paper, but his lack of movement made Jennifer conclude that something was seriously wrong.
The collie put down the bottle and the platter of cookies near the door, then hurried back to her charge. She dropped to her knees and gently embraced the frightened wolf, softly petting his back and telling him that everything would be alright. Slowly, the wolf calmed down and returned to a less tense state. Without making eye contact, Jennifer broke the silence.
“Do you want to tell me something about your drawing, little one?”
Aran looked up at his caregiver with an expression of defeat in his eyes.
“I want to leave, Jennifer. Please, let me return to the real world,” he begged.
“Pup, you won’t have the antidote for your withdrawal out there,” she tried to explain.
“I won’t need that, as long as I can get my hands on ursaurine,” the wolf spit back.
“What for?” the collie replied with equal agitation, letting go of her charge. “You only started taking steroids so you could become strong enough to beat up your own father one day. Is that what you want? Revenge? Little one, you’ll be just like him if you’d do that!”
The wolf wanted to reply, but could not find adequate words. Jennifer went back to the living room, leaving Aran on his own again. He noticed the bottle and cookies his caregiver had brought him. After chewing down the cookies, he grabbed the puppy bottle and started drinking.
In the meantime, he reviewed the picture he had drawn and decided that it indeed needed some accents in red. Although Aran was satisfied with the quality of the picture, he still thought something was amiss, and he was sure it had to do something with the color. It should have been drawn with charcoal, not black chalk.
“Jennifer? I need your help!” he called out, then realized she probably would not concede his request if he did not phrase his question politely. “Could you come to me, please?”
A minute or two passed before the collie slowly entered the playroom.
“I don’t want to be like this anymore.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Did you see what I just drew?” he countered, holding up the picture for Jennifer to see.
It was a drawing of himself, sitting in his crib, leaning against the bars of the side. Behind him was a monstrous image of a fiery orange fox. Its eyeballs were entirely red, and so was the outline of the whole figure. Lastly, the fox was shrouded in an aura of black, smoky fog.

The figure looked like it was going to devour Aran, and his face showed pure terror. It was as if he had pictured Gina tormenting him, instead of the other way around, how it had been during middle school. Jennifer looked at the picture, then back at the face of her charge, and saw that the wolf was struck by what he had drawn as well.
“I don’t want to follow in my father’s pawsteps. I’ve hurt her so many times, and I can’t take it back. I never stopped when she asked me to… just like my dad whenever he beat me up. I used to think that I was a better person than he is, but instead, I’m just another link in the Chain.”
The collie remained silent.
“You said that I’d become like him if I took revenge. I-I guess, you might be right.”
She nodded.
“I’ve said it before, pup. There is only one solution, one key to find closure, and, ultimately, peace.”
“What is it? Please, I need to know!” he solicited.
“It’s forgiveness, little one. I understand that it might be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, but you won’t find peace if you cannot forgive your father. You’ll grow bitter and it’ll always keep some joy away from you for the rest of your life.”
Aran said nothing and stared at his paws.
“No need to be sad, wolfie. Someone will come to help you learn how to forgive.”
“When?” he asked eagerly, looking back up.
“Soon. Don’t worry, I won’t literally involve your father.”
The wolf let out a sigh of relief.
“Now, how about a hug?” Jennifer offered.
“You’re not mad at me anymore?”
“I wasn’t, little one. I just told you what you needed to hear,” she replied, embracing her charge.
Aran returned the gesture and hugged his caregiver. For the first time since his ‘abduction’, he felt like things were getting better.

XXIV. 'Where do they all come from?'

Both handles of the clock in the living room were pointing upwards, at the ‘twelve’. The wolf had no idea about this, until Jennifer came to collect him from the playroom. Upon entering the living room, peering into the kitchen, the wolf noticed a small collection of glass jars on the dining table and concluded that it was lunchtime.
Fortunately, the antidote was still doing its job, so his caregiver was able to lift Aran into the highchair without hurting him. With the tray and bib in place, the wolf braced himself for the inevitable impending doom: mashed peas.
“Let me guess,” the collie said somewhat teasingly as she opened the first jar, “you want to exchange vegetables for information again?”
“If that’s okay with you.”
She grinned.
“I’m afraid I’ll have to raise my price, though. It’ll cost you two jars of the green mush this time.”
“What?” Aran said abashed. He felt swindled - even though he had not paid anything.
“Deal or no deal?”
The wolf contemplated his options. Was he really going to eat twice as much of the disgusting green mush just to winkle some answers out of his caregiver? The collie tried to keep a straight face, but after a few seconds, she started to laugh. The situation then dawned on Aran: he was a twenty-year-old wolf, pondering whether he would eat more baby food in exchange for information. It still sounded preposterous to him.
“I’m just joking, little one. Ask all you want after you eat your veggies,” Jennifer stated, then scooped up some of the redoubtable green mush.
Relieved, but also reluctantly, the wolf accepted the spoonful his caregiver offered. Within a few minutes, the jar was empty and she moved on. The second jar appeared to contain sweet potatoes, but Aran could not make out the other ingredients. Its taste was fair, though, so the wolf found no reason to complain.
“Tell me, what do you want to know?” Jennifer asked between two spoonfuls.
“You mentioned that your other charge is currently at a fellow caregiver. That made me wonder if there are a lot of people like you and Kaiser.”
“That, of course, depends on what you’d call ‘a lot’. To be honest, I don’t know our exact numbers. There are several cities in which our company operates. Furthermore, caregivers and henchmen aren’t the only roles we have. We have office workers as well, for the logistic and organizational matters. There are also handlers, who keep contact with doctors, psychiatrists and social workers.”
“Are they like scouts? You know, looking for people that need help?”
“That’s a part of what they do, yush. Actually, there are two types of handlers. We caregivers have our own superiors too. They inform us about possible charges we could accept and help us pick, and they provide moral and pedagogical support. Some of them are psychiatrists themselves as well, since most charges require specific professional help at some point during their treatment.”
“How can they support you when you are the one that has to treat the charges?” Aran asked, slightly confused.
“Those that have no relevant education have been a caregiver themselves. Almost all of them are significantly older than me and have either quit being a caregiver because they wanted to do something else, or because their age physically hinders them to properly do their job.”
“That sounds like this whole treatment thing wasn’t exactly invented yesterday,” the wolf concluded.
“Oh goodness, no. It has been around for a few decades, actually. Our current program started with another agency called Restart Incorporated, an adoption agency that specialized in helping children that had never had a real home life get used to one before they were adopted. They had several programs, of which the Restart program is their most special and unconventional.”
“What changed?”
“I honestly don’t know. All my superiors have told me is that there was a certain incident at Restart Incorporated, which forced them to shut down the Restart program. Most of us don’t know why, and those that do are instructed to keep their muzzle shut about it.”
“Then how is your current program possible?”
“About forty years ago, an arctic wolf named Kit Cameron reinvigorated the Restart program and turned it into what it is nowadays. He had been in the program himself when he was thirteen and had first-hand experience on how such a program, although unconventional, can drastically change someone’s present and future. Cameron had developed a strong wish to continue the work of his former caregiver. Even after his treatment, he had kept in touch with the wolfess.”
Aran listened as Jennifer continued to feed him between his questions. They were down to the last jar of food as of now.
“There are a lot of similarities between the Restart program and Cameron’s adaptation, but there are also differences. During his treatment, each caregiver had one charge and they lived in large apartment buildings. All caregivers had their own apartment, so the charges had no ‘siblings’ so to speak. However, they did interact with one another in the communal play areas. Cameron, once an only child and an orphan, decided that this should change. Nowadays, we try to let charges spend the first and last part of their treatment together with a fellow puppy, so the new ones can get accustomed more easily by learning from their ‘older sibling’.”
“Then why is your other charge not here?”
“I have various reasons, actually. One of them is that each charge will have specific learning objectives that need to be tested by another caregiver. This is to ensure that the charge has learned said lesson, but also to check if they can function in a slightly different environment, away from the caregiver with whom they’ve bonded.”
“Oh, I see. By the way, how do you deal with the whole interspecies-thing? I mean, Cameron was treated by someone within his own species and Wesley is a dog, I’m a wolf. How does that work?”
“Well, we try to match charges to a caregiver of their own species, preferably even their own breed. However, that’s not always possible. In your case, we had no available wolves, but there were other reasons as well. Furthermore, my other current charge isn’t a dog either.”
“That makes sense. What else did Cameron change?”
“Restart Incorporated was an adoption agency, therefore they only dealt with minors. Their goal was to help foster children by re-r
aising them in a loving and nurturing environment, so they would be able to have a happy and healthy life when they would be adopted. To increase the realism of this ‘second childhood’, the charges started at the simulated stage of a two-year-old.”
The wolf swallowed the last spoonful Jennifer offered him and waited for her to open the carton of yogurt. It was not strawberry-flavored, but Aran did not mind.
“Why did Cameron also take in people over eighteen? I’m not exactly up for adoption, am I?”
“Goodness, no. Our company might be unconventional, but we’re no freaks,” she joked. “See, he changed the goal of the program to broaden the target. Instead of helping only foster children, he intended to help other people like him. Those that had experienced a rough childhood, particularly if caused by an abusive parent, but also people that had been traumatized by a life-changing event. He called it the ‘Chainbreaker Program’, and employees are frequently referred to as ‘Chainbreakers’.”
“So that’s where the reference to chains comes from?”
“Indeed. In case you’re wondering how Gina knows this, I’ve explained some things to her before I let her in your nursery, so she could say what you needed to hear with the right words. Anyway, Cameron retired fifteen years ago, and his successor also experimented with unstable teenagers. The first few charges required more time and attention, but the second attempt showed astounding results.”
“Am I one of those ‘unstable’ people?” Aran asked between two spoonfuls of yogurt.
“Don’t worry. I was moreover referring to people like Wesley. On the other hand, you do have some issues that should be dealt with.”
“Like what?” he asked, cocking his head.
“We’ve already started with the first one. Your detoxification and rehabilitation are a part of the program. You know that, right?”
The wolf nodded, looking down at the wooden tray of the highchair.
“No reason to be sad, little one. I’m here to help you, and I won’t let you fail.”
“Thanks,” he muttered.
“Cheer up, wolfie. There’s still yogurt in the carton,” the collie chimed.
Aran faintly smiled, then opened his muzzle to accept Jennifer’s offer.

XXV. Brush and brunt

Aran felt satisfied. Not only because he just had lunch, but more because of what Jennifer had explained. Even though she did not explicitly mention why he was at her place himself, knowing more about what she did was unraveling some of the mystery around his treatment.
The collie untied Aran’s bib and cleaned his muzzle with a damp washcloth, but she did not release him from the highchair straight away. Instead, she went to gather some items from the cupboard. The wolf could not see much of what his caregiver was doing, since she was more or less behind him, and the restraints of the highchair did not allow him to turn around far enough.
When she removed the tray and unbuckled the tether, Aran saw that she had spread a square piece of quilted fabric on the floor. It was about three feet in length and width, and the collie had placed two brushes on top.
“How often do you brush yourself, little one?” Jennifer asked as she ‘helped’ him take off his t-shirt.
“Not more frequently than strictly necessary. It’s kind of a hassle to do it on your own, and Mike lacks the subtlety and patience to brush my fur properly. I get by, but I don’t spend much time on it.”
“Well, we should change that, don’t you think? I don’t want your fur to get all tangled up.”
The collie took Damian from the playroom and handed it back to her charge. Aran then sat down on the mat, loosely holding the husky as Jennifer started to brush his back.
“I don’t know. I’ve always thought of brushing my fur as a necessary evil. It’s a typical girl thing to spend hours a week on grooming.”
“I disagree, pup. Don’t be surprised if your fur looks even better when I’m done.”
“Better? Now that’s a surprise. You think I look good?”
“Why, of course I do! Black wolves are rare, but I think the color suits you.”
Aran shivered and remained silent.
“What’s wrong, little one?”
“So strange… My dad always said my color is a disfiguration, an impurity. He even called it a curse sometimes. He stems from generations of same-species marriage and believes in ‘genetic purity’. Basically, that means he thinks people shouldn’t have offspring with anyone outside their race.”
“But your father is a grey wolf, and he married a timber wolf. How did he explain that?”
“Those species are closely related. It would be like a Labrador and a Golden Retriever having puppies. For my father, that was as far as one is allowed to go,” Aran answered, then closed his eyes with a sigh. “He said that my black fur is a disgrace.”
“I think it’s beautiful.”
The wolf shivered once more, followed by a sniffle.
“It’s okay, little one.”
It appeared like Aran did not hear her. Instead, his shivering grew more intense. The wolf tensed up as his shivering turned into trembling. His eyes were still tightly shut, rendering visual contact impossible.
“Aran? Are you okay?”
He still did not respond.
“Pup? Did I say something wrong?”
The lack of response bothered the collie. Her charge was clenching his muzzle, gritting his teeth, and whimpering loudly. She then realized that the wolf was having an anxiety attack, and that her intervention was very welcome at this point.
“Aran, listen to me! I know you can still hear me. I’m going to try and stop your attack by administering a sedative to you. Be brave for me, I’ll do my best to save you!”
Every Chainbreaker has a syringe with a sedative on them at all times. This is usually a safety measure to knock a charge out in case of danger or emergency, mainly to be used as a form of self-defense for the caregiver. However, a small dose could just be what Aran needed right now.
Jennifer took the syringe from a hidden pocket and gently stuck the needle in the neck of her charge. Careful not to administer too much, she slowly depressed the plunger. At the first quarter, she stopped and withdrew the needle.
“Aran, I don’t know what you’re seeing now, but don’t be afraid. I’m going to touch you, but I won’t hurt you.”
She knelt a little closer to her charge and gave him a warm hug from behind, trying to make the surface of their touch as large as possible. The wolf was still trembling, but Jennifer knew that it would not take long for the sedative to kick in.
“Have no fear, Aran,” she whispered in his ears. “You’re my puppy, my good little wolfie. You’re special and precious to me, and I’m not going to leave you alone. Whatever you might be going through, I’m here for you. Trust that I’ll protect you, little one, you’re safe with me. I won’t let you go.”
Minutes passed as the collie kept petting her charge and whispering kind words into his ears. Eventually, Aran opened his eyes and panted.
“Pup, are you okay?”
“What… happened?” he asked, disoriented.
“Another anxiety attack, I suppose. You’re with me again, aren’t you?”
“Guess so… m’sleepy, Jen,” he replied, somewhat mumbling.
“That’s because I sedated you, so you wouldn’t hurt yourself. I’m sorry for that, but I couldn’t stand to see you suffer.”
“Dat’s okays…”
“I’m going to carry you upstairs and put you down for a nap.”
She spoke self-assuredly, but knew very well that sleeping could mean nightmares for Aran. However, it would be unwise to keep him awake. The wolf did not say anything, but just nodded in approval. Once upstairs, she undressed him and put him in a mittened sleeper. With Damian in his arms and his pacifier in his muzzle, Aran was good to go. He fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The sun was already setting when the wolf woke up. Still groggy and somewhat confused, he tried to remember what had happened and how he had ended up in the crib again. His mind could not answer this question, so he decided to call out for Jennifer.
It did not take long for the collie to reach him, as she had been waiting for her charge to wake up. She asked if he was hungry and offered him a puppy bottle of mealtime-worthy formula. Being too sleepy to protest - not that he wanted to - Aran accepted the nipple and downed the entire bottle.
The formula was followed by a dose of the antidote, to ensure that the wolf would not wake up in the middle of the night in suffering. Jennifer then checked his diaper and concluded that her charge needed a change.
After all, he was not wearing a nighttime diaper, so changing him was a good idea for more reasons than one. Aran mumbled something about not remembering his wetting and that his ‘accident’ still didn’t mean he was a puppy, but he fell asleep again before Jennifer had even put him down on the changing table.

############################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################
Author: Vexxus
Timestamp: Jul 7, 2014 at 7:43 PM
Content: XXVI. Return and remember

The next morning started in a haze for Aran. He woke up in his crib, again with little memory of how he ended up there. Additionally, he noticed that he was wearing a thick diaper. At first, he thought this was just because he was wearing a nighttime diaper, but the wolf soon found out that he had wet during his sleep.
On the other paw, ‘wet’ might not be the correct word, as it was more in the range of ‘soaked’, or ‘flooded’. His diaper had not leaked, but the garment was moist, and Aran found it very uncomfortable.
Having spent some time in a wet diaper before, the wolf slowly started to grow accustomed to the feeling, but something else popped up in his body as well. Initially, the sensation resembled an itch, and Aran thought that his wet diaper was the cause, but quickly discarded that conclusion as soon as the ‘itch’ started to spread throughout his chest.
As the sensation became more powerful, it took over all of his body, from head to toes and from his fingers to the tip of his tail. The wolf tried his best to sit up, and only barely managed to do just that. The feeling was growing stronger every second, and Aran realized what it was.
He had to warn his caregiver, but just as he opened his muzzle to call out to her, a surge of burning pain shot through the muscles of his upper body. Instead of calling Jennifer’s name, he let out something between a growl and a howl, expressing the inescapable pain.
The collie, at this point, knew what to expect from her charge and hurried to the nursery, carrying a small puppy bottle of water in one hand, and the antidote in the other. Her suspicions turned out to be correct as she found a suffering wolf in a corner of the crib, leaning against the headboard and the bars of the far side.
Aran felt relieved when he saw Jennifer enter the nursery. Within the blink of an eye, the collie had mixed the antidote in the puppy bottle and offered the nipple to her charge. The wolf tried his best to drink his medicine as fast as possible, being interrupted by a surge of pain a couple of times.
When he had finished the bottle, his caregiver put Damian in his arms and said that she would return soon. The wolf wanted to protest, as he felt like Jennifer was leaving him, but he could not find the strength. Besides, she said that she would be back, and the collie had never lied to him before.
A few minutes later, Jennifer entered the nursery again, carrying a larger puppy bottle filled with mealtime formula. She guessed that Aran would not feel like being spoon-fed, let alone sitting up in the somewhat uncomfortable highchair.
The wolf mumbled a ‘thank you’, and started to nurse. As the antidote kicked in, his pace slowed down a bit, but it became steadier as well. He was fully focused on the bottle, and had not noticed that the collie sat down next to him, until she started to pet him.
With his body calmed down and his stomach filled, the wolf declared he was ready for the rest of the morning rituals. Jennifer smiled and carried him over to the changing table, where she put Aran in a fresh diaper and changed him into daytime clothes.
By now, the antidote was fully active and Aran no longer experienced the burning pain. He did feel sensitive, though, and he was thankful that Jennifer did not make him sit in the highchair. She offered to carry him downstairs, but the wolf turned down her offer.
The drowsiness from the previous day had passed, and even though the wolf did not feel like his limbs were fully cooperating, the high amount of sleep he had reinvigorated him. The collie decided to put him down in the playroom for some quiet time. She clearly appeared to have more than one reason for this, but she refused to talk about it. Aran mentally shrugged and turned to one of the toy boxes.

A while later, the black wolf was indulged in planning yet another railway, a task that was fine in theory, but could be harder in practice. The antidote was still impairing Aran’s dexterity and hindering the control over his body. Despite the impediment, the wolf pushed on.
His pondering was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell, however. Who could this be? Was Kaiser paying them a visit? ‘For the grace of all that is good and sacred, not Kaiser’, Aran thought. ‘Bad things happen whenever he is present.’
He perked up his ears, hoping that any spoken word would reach him. Jennifer talked to a male with a deep voice, one he estimated to be a little older than the collie, judging by the sound of the voice. He could not make out the words, unfortunately.
A minute or two later, he heard the front door being closed. His caregiver now spoke to someone else, and her tone was different. She entered the living room with the other person, which allowed Aran to actually understand the words.
“It’s good to see you again, princess,” she said.
Why was she talking like she was speaking to a child?
“Did you have fun at Primrose’s place?”
“Yush, miss Hyzenthlay is really kind. She kept calling me ‘homba’, though,” a playful female voice sounded.
‘Wait, where have I heard that voice before?’ the wolf wondered. It sounded so familiar, but the carefree tone and the heightened pitch puzzled him.
“You know that’s just Lapine for ‘fox’, right?” the collie replied.
‘A fox? You’re not telling me…’ Aran thought.
“Yush, but it still sounds silly,” the voice said with a chuckle. “It’s good to be here again, Jenny.”
No. Hell no. Of all people, not her.
“I’m glad to have you back as well, dear,” Jennifer reassured.
“How’s your new puppy?”
“He’s in the playroom. Why don’t you go look?”
Aran cursed under his breath. What would she do with him? Why would Jennifer let her in here? Wait… Jennifer sounded like she knew what she was doing. As if all of this was planned.
In a split second, he realized that whatever was coming would be inevitable. If she intended to hurt him, he could not properly defend himself. The wolf told himself that he deserved it, and that it was better this way. He went back to his railway and pretended like he had not heard the conversation.
“So, you really are Jenny’s new puppy, huh?” the ‘princess’ asked.
Aran slowly put down the piece of wooden railway he had held in his hand. Even though she spoke with a higher-pitched voice, the wolf was sure it was her. Gina.
“Does that mean you’re her second charge?”
“Uh-huh,” she replied, “Watcha doing?”
The wolf turned around to face the muzzle he was now certain to see. He saw a female red fox of about his age, a few inches taller than him, with a smile on her face. She wore dark purple shortalls over her fiery red and pristine white fur, but the piece of clothing did little to hide the obvious bulge of a diaper around her waist.
The image was completed by the elephant plushie Gina carried in her right hand. Aran noticed that her nails were surprisingly short, especially for a female. It looked like they had not only been clipped, but blunted with a file as well.
“I don’t get it,” he said after a few seconds.
“Why not? It’s an easy question, wolfie,” she quipped.
He shook his head.
“No, no that’s not what I meant. Last time you spoke to me, you sounded like you were angry. You even said that you were afraid of me,” the wolf said, still puzzled. “What changed?”
“I’m in the same program as you, remember? I’ve been here for weeks, even months. They’ve helped me to deal with everything that happened to me, including what you did to me.”
“So… you’re not afraid of me anymore?”
She shrugged.
“Good,” Aran said. “You shouldn’t be anyway. Right now, I’m not capable of physically hurting you, even if I wanted to. But I don’t, so there’s no reason to be afraid.”
“Stop being so silly, wolfie,” she replied as she flopped down on the floor next to him. “You didn’t answer yet. Watcha doing? This is the playroom, so what’re you playing?”
The vixen appeared to be ignorant of her pain in their mutual past, so Aran decided to drop the matter for the time being.
“I’m trying to build a railway,” he responded.
“Oh, that’s fun! May I help you?”
“There’s plenty of pieces to be placed, so I don’t mind, I guess.”
“Yay!” the vixen replied as she hastened to one of the toy boxes.

XXVII. 'Ah, look at all the lonely people!'

No matter how hard Aran tried, he could not stop thinking about the contrast between how Gina had spoken to him earlier, and how she behaved now. Her change of mentality bothered the wolf, until he could not take it anymore and decided to speak up.
“Hey Gina, would you mind to, you know, drop your toddler act for a minute? I’d like to ask you a serious question.”
She put down her toys and picked up her stuffed elephant.
“Alright, ask away,” she said, no longer talking with a high-pitched voice.
‘So she really was acting,’ the wolf thought.
“Am I the sole reason why you’re here? I mean, I find it kind of hard to digest that I hurt you so badly that you’d need this kind of treatment.”
The vixen smiled, much to Aran’s surprise.
“No, wolfie, you’re not the only factor. Before middle school, I didn’t have too many friends, but they were good friends. Or at least, that’s what I thought. When you started bullying me, they dropped me one by one, afraid to become a victim as well if they stayed close to me.”
“I’m sorry for that.”
“Stop apologizing, Aran, you can’t change it anymore,” she said with a reassuring tone. “So anyway, I didn’t have any peers to fall back on, only my parents. They love me, but they didn’t understand what I was going through. Our teachers were practically powerless against you as well. After those four years, I felt unloved, alone, and I had little self-esteem left.”
She turned her right forearm towards Aran, showing the lower half of her arm and wrist. Her other arms was still tightly hugging her plushie.
“Go ahead, feel them,” she invited.
Aran extended his hands and fumbled at the vixen’s arm, but found nothing out of the ordinary.
“Should anything be off?”
Gina nodded. “Try harder.”
The wolf let his fingertips search her arm, more slowly this time.
“I feel something like fine lines. Are those… scars?”
The vixen nodded again.
“But there’s a whole lot of them! I didn’t do that to you, did I?” Aran uttered with a strong tone of guilt.
“No, I did.”
Aran sighed, relieved that he was not the cause of such injuries.
“Wait, you did that to yourself? Why?”
“When I was fourteen, I started cutting myself. Whenever I cut myself, it felt like the mental pain became physical. You might find it hard to believe, but after the bodily damage, it was as if it hurt less to be alive.”
“That sounds really harsh. Did you do that a lot to yourself?”
“It took me over two months to do it again after the first time. Gradually, I began to do cut myself more often, though. That is, until I met Hiro.”
“Who is that?”
“He was my boyfriend. We were both sixteen, and I was still having a hard time. I hadn’t had any friends for years, which had made me withdrawn and isolated. Hiro was kind to me at first, but I had a hard time letting the Shiba Inu come close to me. It was as if a voice inside me said that I would get hurt again if I let people be my friends.”
“You said it like that’s exactly what happened.”
The vixen closed her eyes and tightly hugged her plushie with both arms.
“Did I say something wrong?” Aran asked after a short while, breaking the somewhat uncomfortable silence.
“No, it’s just that I don’t like to think about Hiro anymore.”
“Why not? He’s your boyfriend, right?”
“Was my boyfriend. We eventually grew closer together, and started sharing secrets. About a year ago, I told him about my self-harm. He… he didn’t believe me at first, and thought that he wasn’t doing a good job as a boyfriend. I then told him that it wasn’t because of him and that I really loved him. As we became more intimate, I cut myself less frequently, but I just couldn’t resist it sometimes.”
“Then why did he dump you?”
“Hiro didn’t want a girlfriend that cuts herself. He said that if I really loved him, I wouldn’t need to hurt myself.”
“But it wasn’t about him in the first place. Didn’t he understand that?”
She shook her head.
“It wasn’t a nice scene when he broke up with me. Actually, he didn’t even break up, he just announced that we were through when I caught him with another dog. He had been seeing her for quite a while.”
“Let me guess, he started dating the other girl as soon as he knew about your self-harm.”
Gina nodded and tried to fight back her tears. The wolf wanted to comfort her by petting her back, but decided against doing so. After all, he did not know whether she would be okay with him touching her.
“He completely bullyragged me, saying that he never truly liked me, that it didn’t matter when I gave him a lick and that I was the ugliest fox he’d ever seen.”
“Did you believe that?”
“Hiro was my boyfriend, why would he lie?”
“But if what he said was true, he had lied to you all the time. I think he just told himself anything to explain away that he dumped you.”
“He cheated on me as well…” she sobbed. “And he told me I was the only one the day before.”
The vixen could no longer contain herself and cried. As if Aran was a big plushie, she let go of her own stuffed elephant and embraced the wolf instead. This seemingly instinctive act ruled out all doubt in Aran’s mind. Gina needed someone to comfort her, and if she came to him, it meant that anyone would do. He touched her as gently as possible, petting her lower back and the back of her head. A few minutes later, she calmed down again.
“Thanks, Aran.”
“For what?”
“Letting me cry. I kinda needed that.”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry to push you, but was that the end of your story?”
“No, unfortunately not. Being put aside by the only peer I had, I felt lonelier than ever.”
“So you cut yourself?”
“Yush… and quite a lot, too. But no matter what I tried, it didn’t help. I needed something stronger, but I was afraid that I’d kill myself if I’d cut deeper. And that’s when it hit me.”
“You realized that you needed help?”
She shook her head.
“I concluded that there was only one way to get rid of all my pain.”
“You… no, tell me you didn’t,” Aran stammered.
“I did. I told myself that I wouldn’t suffer any more if I were dead, so I decided to take my own life. A few months ago, I went to the Basalt Barrage at Lake Novamen in the middle of the night. Jumping down from the dam would certainly kill me… I wasn’t planning on having to work up the courage again, you know?”
Aran nodded.
“When I stood there, on top of the dam, I hesitated. It was a long distance down and I’m afraid of heights, so go figure.”
“But you’re still here. What happened?”

XXVIII. The princess is in another nursery

“Eventually, a badger showed up and pulled me from the edge. He asked who I was and why I was standing so close to the edge. I begged him to let me go, but he refused and his grip was too strong to break free.”
The wolf was fascinated by her story and listened in awe.
“He introduced himself as Jordan, and told me that he wanted to help me. I replied that my problems were too big for him and asked him why he should care about me. We hadn’t met before, so we didn’t know each other. The badger said that if I had nothing to lose, his offer couldn’t hurt me.”
“Wait, do Jordan and Jennifer know each other?”
She smiled.
“Kaiser is a good friend of the badger. You know, that other caregiver I spent the past week with? Jordan works with her in the same way Kaiser works with Jenny. Jordan and Kaiser have more or less the same job.”
“So that’s why he said he could help you,” Aran concluded aloud.
“Yush. He invited me to come with him, and although I hesitated, something told me that his intentions were good. I got into his car and sat down on the backseat, at the right side, as far away from him as possible. When we got to his place, or what he claimed to be his place, he asked me to wait in the car and he went inside. After a few minutes, he came back out with a female rabbit. They took me inside and asked me to call my parents, so they would not be worried about me. I asked them not to open the farewell letter I had written, because Jordan had offered me help. In case I decided to go with my original plan, they could still read my note. The badger then explained to my mother where he found me and that he wanted to help me. He invited them for a conversation to explain that I would be gone from home for the next few weeks, possibly months.”
“Did they just go with that?”
“Pretty much. They were glad that someone had kept their daughter from committing suicide, and were willing to do a lot to see me happy again. My father was a bit skeptical, though, but Jordan later told me that he was very understanding after they talked. Besides, even though I live with my parents, I’m nineteen, which means that they legally have no say in my choices because I’m an adult.”
“I see. How did you end up at Jennifer’s place though?”
“There are always a few caregivers on stand-by so urgent charges can be accommodated immediately. Jennifer was in the reserve pool at that time, so she became my caregiver. I fell asleep on Jordan’s couch and woke up in a crib, here in Jennifer’s girl nursery.”
“Were you blindfolded and all?” the wolf queried.
“What? No… I was wearing a diaper and a footed sleeper, though, and found myself snuggling with Farani. Just before I freaked out because of those strange new surroundings, Jennifer spoke up to me. She was sitting next to the crib, reading a book, waiting for me to wake up. I was still confused about what had happened, and I wondered where Jordan was. Jenny then explained that she was a friend of Jordan’s and that she would take care of me. I guess you can fill in the rest yourself.”
“Maybe not everything, but the important parts. By the way, is any of this related to why your nails look like the way they do?”
She was trying to keep a straight face, but could not prevent showing a grimace.
“Jenny did that to me on my first day here, so I couldn’t harm myself with my claws. I’ve done that before, on occasions when I couldn’t find a knife or some other sharp object. She’s been keeping my nails short and blunt ever since, including my toenails.”
“Have you cut yourself with your toes?” Aran asked in disbelief.
“Desperate people make desperate decisions,” she commented plainly.
“I can’t contain my curiosity now. Have you, you know, done anything like that recently?”
“I’ve had the urge a couple of times, and even tried to sharpen the stumps of my claws again, but I never succeeded. Nowadays, I don’t feel the need to cut myself as often anymore. It still pops up sometimes, but I’ve learned how to deal with it.”
“How did you change?”
“My past pulled me down and made me feel sad. I wanted to break free from that, but I couldn’t do it on my own. Jennifer taught me how to leave the past behind me, so I won’t linger in the vicious cycle of hating myself over what I had become.”
“That’s not as easy and concise as it sounds, am I right?”
The vixen shook her head.
“However, if you want to change, you will change. If not on your own accord, then Jennifer and Kaiser will nudge you in the right direction.”
“But you can’t just leave the past behind, right?”
“Don’t think about it too hard, you might hurt yourself,” she replied, then switched back to her puppy voice. “Now let’s play, I’s bored of talkin’!”

The two charges continued building the railway, until a large part of the playroom was covered with tracks. Aran noticed that he was losing his concentration, and he soon found out why. He felt cramps in his bowels, and the feeling slowly grew stronger every minute.
“Why’re you makin’ those funny faces?” the vixen asked.
“What faces?” Aran replied, suppressing a groan.
“You’re making silly faces, as if you’re thinking really hard. I said you shouldn’t, right?”
“That’s not the problem,” the wolf tried to play it off.
“Then what is?”
‘Darn, she doesn’t understand the concept of dropping a subject, does she?’
“I guess I’ve got to go,” he commented plainly.
“Go where? You can’t get out of the playroom without Jenny, you know that, don’t you?”
Aran rolled his eyes.
“I’m going nowhere, just have to go, you know. Big time, and stuff.”
It then appeared to dawn on the vixen.
“Oh, like in your diaper?” she emphasized, to add insult to injury.
“You really need to say that out loud? It doesn’t matter, I won’t be able to go with you staring at me.”
“That’s a bit of a problem, don’t you think? I’m not going anywhere either, so you’ll have to.”
“B-but…” Aran started, but he did not know how to finish his sentence.
“You’re embarrassed, right?” she then said in her normal voice. “I know how you feel. I’ve been there myself with Wesley. We both found it hard to, you know, do our business, especially when you know it’s going to smell.”
The wolf nodded.
“I’m not used to the food Jennifer serves me, I guess that’s why my bowels are cramping. Last time was the same.”
“I think I’ve got a solution. Go sit on your knees, and try to relax. Close your eyes if you want, but you don’t need to.”
Aran complied, although with reluctance.
“Don’t be scared, I’m not going to hurt you,” the vixen said, putting her hands on Aran’s stomach.
She started to gently massage the wolf, and felt his body relax as she worked her magic. The tensions slowly disappeared and Aran closed his eyes. After a few more minutes, the tail of the wolf flagged up a little and Gina mentally snickered, as she knew what was coming.
The wolf tried his best to think of something else, anything else. He was not really thinking about anything concrete, but the method worked. Aran did not notice much of the secondary effects of Gina’s massaging, until he felt a squishy warmth spread through the front of his diaper as his bladder released.
He understood that what was about to come would be inevitable. It had to happen eventually, so he should better get it over with. The wolf lightly pushed, and with much less effort than he expected, his bowels evacuated. As good as it felt to be relieved of the cramps, so equally disgusting was the action to Aran. He felt filthy, humiliated, and, most of all, like a puppy.
“Jennifer! Aran lay embli!” Gina called out, after she let go of the wolf.
The collie was in the kitchen, so she did not need more than a couple of seconds to pop her head around the door of the playroom.
“I heard my little girl calling. Say what again?”
“I said Aran lay embli. Lotsa embli,” the vixen chuckled.
“What’s that even mean?” Aran asked, trying to hide his shame.
“It’s Lapine, little one. It means you stink,” Jennifer explained, then turned to her other charge. “You learned that from Primrose, didn’t you?”
Gina nodded with enthusiasm.
“Be a good girl and play by yourself for a while, okay? Come, Aran. Let’s go clean you up.”
The wolf got on his paws, slowly, attempting to minimize the feeling of what he had just done to his diaper. Unfortunately, Jennifer took him upstairs, which meant that he had to climb all twelve steps of the stairs. Feeling even dirtier, Aran was glad to finally reach the bathroom.

XXIX. Rise above this doubt

Aran felt a lot better in his clean diaper. There was still no way to escape having to wear one, but it beat the mess he had made. When Jennifer took him upstairs, to the bathroom, the wolf expected that she was going to bathe him again.
However, the collie merely decided against changing Aran downstairs because of hygiene. Should he need a bath, it would be easier to be in the bathroom already. Some wipes and a damp washcloth was enough to make the wolf feel clean again, though.
He had mixed feelings about the events. Since he felt very dirty, he would not have minded a bath, but on the other paw, bathing would be another occasion for Jennifer to emphasize that he was a puppy to her, so he was okay with being spared from the hassle.
Contrary to Aran’s expectations – once again – his caregiver did not take him back to the playroom, but she put him in the highchair instead. The collie then went back to retrieve Gina, whom had been good, like Jennifer requested.
“Thanks for helping me, Gina.” Aran said shyly.
“No problem. I owed you one for the cuddles we shared, remember?”
Aran waited for the vixen to be seated. He noticed that his fellow charge was allowed to sit on a regular chair, and even drink from a sippy cup instead of a puppy bottle. Additionally, she got to eat from a plate, although the only utensil she had was an unwieldy plastic fork.
Another difference was Gina’s food. Jennifer served her a sandwich, already cut in pieces, but still, the wolf found it unfair that his counterpart would have solid food for lunch. Their caregiver caught up on Aran’s expression.
“That’s one of the perks of progressing in the program, little one. You’ll get more privileges over time as well.”
The wolf stared down at the wooden tray of the highchair, but he did not reply. He knew there was no legitimate response for him in any way.
“D’you feel better now, wolfie?” Gina asked, pointing at Aran’s stomach.
“A little. I’m glad that the cramps are gone.”
“No, I mean, does it feel good to be wearing dry padding again?”
“I’d rather not wear diapers,” he replied.
“Why not? You would’ve made a mess. An actual mess,” she replied with feigned ignorance.
Aran rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean, don’t you?”
“Not really.”
Was she playing a role again, or did she actually...?
“Wait, are you implying that you like to wear diapers?”
“I think it’s comfortable. And I like the constant feeling of safety it gives me,” she answered in her normal voice. “I don’t like to ‘go embli’ either, don’t get me wrong.”
“You’ll get a little used to it after a while, Aran,” Jennifer reassured. “Now, cut the potty talk, we’re about to have lunch. It’d be inappropriate to talk about this when there’s food on the table.”
Gina nodded in agreement. Jennifer then gave her permission to start eating, and she herself began to feed Aran his lunch. The wolf did not attempt to trade food for information this time, as he thought it would be inappropriate.
Contrary to earlier feedings, it was not all about himself anymore, and he did not want to drag the attention to himself. Subsequently, lunch passed rather quietly and uneventful, aside from the caregiver praising her charges every now and then for being good and eating up.
When everyone had finished their respective meal, Jennifer got up and walked over to a cupboard in the living room. She returned with a shiny tiara in her hands, which she smilingly put on Gina’s head. The vixen appeared to be quite pleased with wearing the tiara.
“Tell me, princess, what did Primrose teach you?” she asked. It sounded like she asked a toddler what they had learned in school, expecting an answer that concerned addition of single-digit numbers.
“I learned that if people say sorry to me, and they really mean it, then I should accept their apology.”
“That sounds like a big lesson, princess,” the collie praised.
The vixen nodded.
“It can be really hard sometimes, but it’s best for both parties. If I don’t accept it, the other person will be disappointed, and we’ll both have a hard time forgetting what happened.”
Aran listened with great interest. Was this a chance he had implicitly been waiting for?
“The hardest,” she continued, turning to her fellow charge, “would be you.”
The wolf tried to speak, but the words seemed to be stuck in his throat. It took him a few seconds, but eventually, Aran pulled himself together. There was no way back now, he had to say what was on his mind. For the sake of them both.
“Gina, you’ve reminded me of what I really am. It’s not like me to say sorry, but… I want to apologize for everything I’ve done to you. How I treated you has nearly killed you, and I can’t make it up in any way, but can you forgive me?”
She took a deep breath.
“I can, Aran. It won’t be easy to forget, and there are still memories that linger in my head, but I’m ready to leave our past behind.”
“Congratulations,” Jennifer interjected. “This is the most important reason why I wanted the two of you to meet each other within the context of our program. You’ve just fulfilled one of your greatest learning goals.”
The vixen looked like she was on the verge of tears, a signal that did not go unnoticed by Jennifer. She pulled her charge on her lap, holding the vixen like a puppy.
“You’ll be okay, my beautiful princess. It’s over now, and can’t begin to express how proud I am of you.”
“A-and I, you know, I… thanks,” Aran stammered. “Thanks a lot. Lately, I’ve felt so bad about what I’ve done, but I’m sure I need this to move on.”
A short, but not uncomfortable silence followed.
“You’re welcome,” Gina whispered eventually, faintly smiling.
“You’ve still got a way to go, Aran, but this is a good start. I’m very proud of the two of you.”
Jennifer nuzzled the vixen, until Gina interrupted the interaction by sitting up, pulling her caregiver into a hug.
“I think my puppies have earned a reward,” the collie chimed when her charge finally let go.
“Can we watch a movie?” Gina asked, slipping back into her mindset.
“That’s exactly what I was thinking of,” Jennifer replied, handing a small key to the vixen. “Here, go pick a nice one. I’ll bring Aran in a second.”
Gina accepted the key and paraded to the playroom, holding up the key as if it was the most valuable item she had ever held. Her caregiver smiled at this sight and began to relieve her other charge of his restraints.
With the tray out of the way and the tether unbuckled, Jennifer ‘helped’ the wolf to get out of the highchair. She then pulled him into a hug, which surprised Aran at first. However, it did not take long for his instincts to take over.
The wolf did like his caregiver had often suggested: he went with the flow and answered her invitation. It felt a little unfamiliar to be actively hugging another person, but a small voice deep inside Aran told him that this was the acceptance he had been looking for ever since he was a small wolf.
Jennifer waited for her charge to let go, then ruffled his headfur.
“You’re my good little puppy, Aran. I’m very proud of you. Now go keep Gina company, I’m sure she has already picked a movie.”
‘That’d probably something childish, but what gives,’ the wolf thought. ‘I owe her one. Or two. Or a whole lot.’
Indeed, Aran was right. The vixen had been browsing through Jennifer’s extensive collection of shows and movies aimed at children, and she soon found what she was looking for. The wolf sat down on the beanbag chair and waited for Gina to press the ‘play’ button.
When she did, a vaguely familiar theme song started to play, and Aran recognized a few of the cartoonish characters from the show he had watched earlier. The vixen sat down next to him on the beanbag chair, which was a little tight, but not uncomfortably so.
After about a minute, the opening credits were finished and the screen was filled with the logo of the movie franchise. It consisted of five different faces: a lynx, a polar bear, and an ice dragoness in the bottom, and a roe deer and a black Labrador in the top.
Aran then recognized the two latter faces, especially the Labrador. He knew that the show would probably be aimed at an audience way younger than himself, but Gina appeared to be enjoying herself, and that was what mattered most to the wolf at that point.

XXX. Mother of all secrets

To his own great surprise, Aran was actually paying attention to the movie, even though he was obviously fifteen years too old to fit in the target audience. The wolf concluded that he was probably trying to follow the story because he did not want Gina think that he was playing pretend just to please her.
It would render his efforts of compensation shallow and empty if he did, so Aran did his best to let himself go and maybe even enjoy the story. He recognized the black Labrador as Kody, more or less the main character of the movie, and his best friend Kahn, the roe deer.
The plot of the movie discussed people being made fun of because they are different from others. The storyboard writers tried to convey the message that being different is good, because everyone would be the same otherwise.
Additionally, the characters discovered that ‘different’ people sometimes have very special abilities. Their most prominent example was their own friend Hania, the shy ice dragoness. The five youngsters happened to live in a place where dragons are very rare, so most people were unfamiliar with Hania’s ability to breathe ice. She also proved to be an excellent swimmer, especially for her young age.
After the movie, Jennifer came in, carrying a tray with two puppy bottles, a sippy cup and a small plate with some cookies. She put the tray on the ground and Gina immediately grabbed the sippy cup. With a smile, the collie took the vixen’s place on the beanbag chair and began feeding Aran. She started with the smaller bottle, which contained a dose of the antidote.
As the wolf drank from his bottle, Jennifer asked whether her puppies had enjoyed the movie. Gina gave a short summary of what the story was about and what she had liked about it. From what the vixen told, Aran understood that she had seen a large portion of the series, since she mentioned events that were not in the movie.
“Princess, can you play by yourself for a little while longer?” Jennifer asked when the drinks were drunk and the cookies eaten.
“But I wanna play with Aran!” she said, pretending to pout.
“What if I just give you your pacifier, and you go watch another episode like a good puppy?”
“Why can’t we play together?” she queried, cocking her head.
“I want to brush his fur. I started yesterday, but we didn’t finish. Besides, Farani will keep you company, and you can play with Aran after I’m done.”
“Aww, okay,” the vixen responded with drooping ears, then crawled over to the television to pick what she was going to watch.
Jennifer got up from the beanbag chair, taking the tray with her as she left the playroom. When she returned, the collie carried Gina’s pacifier and stuffed elephant, which she offered to the ‘princess’.
“Farani!” the vixen exclaimed, happily accepting her plushie from her caregiver.
With her pacifier added to the mix, Gina looked like she would be occupied for the next half an hour. The collie beckoned her wolf puppy and took his hand. Together, they went to the living room, where she sat Aran down on the same quilted fabric as the day before.
“Actually, you should probably lay down,” the collie thought aloud as she took Aran’s t-shirt off. “I did your back yesterday, so I‘ll start with your chest now.”
The wolf complied to her suggestion, twitching his tail.
“Listen, pup. I want you to tell me as soon as you feel like you’re about to have another anxiety attack. Yesterday, I noticed it too late, but we’ll have to work together to keep you where you are now, do you understand?”
He slowly nodded, and Jennifer got started.
“Jennifer? There’s something I don’t understand.”
“What’s the matter? Brushing isn’t that complex, is it?” the collie joked, and Aran smiled.
“Nah, it’s about Gina. Something feels… off. When I first met her here, she sounded angry, as if she wanted to take revenge for everything I did to her. However, now she’s here, as a puppy, it’s like she’s even trying to become friends. How does that work? It’s like she’s oblivious of our past!”
“Easy, Aran, don’t get too worked up over it. First of all, when she first entered your nursery, she was a puppy as well.”
Aran’s ears perked up.
“It was one of the reasons why you weren’t allowed to turn around. Or talk, for that matter. Your only role was to listen.”
“Then how do you explain the difference between what she said and how behaves now? Is she pretending to be nice?”
“No, this is the Gina I’ve gotten to know over the past months. What she did when you weren’t allowed to respond was not so much for her as it was for you.”
“But you said she wasn’t a part of the program!” Aran protested.
“I didn’t,” the collie replied matter-of-factly. “I only said that I had explained some things to her before I let her into your nursery, so she could say what you needed to hear with the right words. That’s not a lie, is it? I did instruct her on what to say, because, like I said, her role was all part of what you…”
“Needed to hear,” Aran joined in unison.
“Yush, very good. This way, you’d be triggered to think about yourself and what you did. It even caused you to ask Gina for her forgiveness. That’s a question she feared you might not be willing to ask, so it’s very helpful that you came to the right conclusion by yourself.”
Jennifer took a short pause to put Aran’s shirt back on. She then nudged him to change his position and took off his pants, so she could brush his legs.
“It’s still not entirely clear to me. How can she first show resent, then act like nothing happened before she even forgave me?”
“She had already forgiven you, as it was a part of her treatment. However, we thought it would be a good opportunity for her to forgive you in person. It’s the confrontation itself that made it hard and emotional for her.”
“Wow, I haven’t even thought of it that way. On the other paw, it seemed a bit too easy that she’d just forgive me without consideration, even after months of treatment, right?”
The collie did not respond, she only smiled.
“By the way, how do you and Kaiser know all this stuff about me? Did Gina tell you all that?”
“How would she know about the divorce of your parents, dear?”
“No idea, that’s why I was asking you, actually,” Aran countered, attempting not to insult his caregiver.
Jennifer smiled again.
“Your story started with your mother. After you left, she was often confronted with herself, as there was nobody to talk to. The loneliness wasn’t that much of a problem, but there was nobody to disturb her thoughts. As the practice of her life began to revolve only around herself, her she began blaming herself for much of what had happened.”
“Like how my father abused me?”
“Among other things. She went as far as to blame herself for the times her own father sexually abused her.”
“But that can’t be true! My mother wouldn’t be to blame for that in any way, would she?”
“Easy now, Aran,” Jennifer reassured. “We don’t want you to slip away again. Take a deep breath.”
The wolf obeyed and tried to calm himself down.
“Eventually, she couldn’t keep all this to herself anymore, as she became increasingly unhappy and depressed. Your mother spilled her heart’s content to her best friend, whom advised her to seek professional help.”
“And that’s how she found the Chainbreakers?”
“After a few minor detours, yush.”
Aran cocked his head.
“But how does this relate to me?”
“During her therapy, your mother mentioned that she was afraid of her husband, especially when he abused you. Her therapist then understood that it wouldn’t hurt if someone would help you deal with your past as well.”
“Did my mother know about you guys? Or about the puppy treatment?”
Jennifer shook her head.
“None of that. She knew that some colleague-of-a-colleague of her therapist would be trying to help you. Her own therapist asked her a lot of questions about you, your relationship with your father, your childhood, and so on. Combined with what he already knew about your mother, he composed a dossier about you. The dossier was delivered to Chainbreakers Inc., and subsequently handed over to Kaiser. You know the rest of the story, don’t you?”
“Most of it. So my mother didn’t know about the kind of treatment, but she knew that I’d be getting help?”
The collie made Aran change his position once more, so she could brush his tail.
“We told her that we’d do our best, but that you’d probably want to accept our help after we had explained why you needed it. Since she had underwent quite some therapy herself already, your mother trusted her therapist to choose the right people to help her son.”
“Am I that important to her?”
“You’ve always been, but your mother was terrified of your father and didn’t dare to stand up for you. She’s changed into a better person now, though. Please give her a chance to show that she can be a mother for you, even though you’re twenty years old and you’re not very dependent on her anymore.”
“How can go back to her? I didn’t exactly leave on the best terms,” Aran replied hesitantly. “Will she even accept me back, regardless of whether or not I want her to?”
“It’ll be okay, Aran, there’s no need to worry or to be sad. Focus on the positive experiences you’ve had so far.”
“How is that going to help me?” the wolf countered, feeling both confused and belittled.
“It’s not going to work if I explain it all. I’d rather teach you a saying I’ve learned from Primrose. It’s a rabbit saying, but I don’t know the Lapine words.”
“Doesn’t matter, I don’t speak ‘rabbit’ anyway,” Aran said half-joking.
Jennifer smiled.
“The key is to have hope, Aran. The rabbits say that hope is the death of unhappiness.”

======
Author's note, just to tease y'all some more: the illustration for the next chapter is very powerful. If I had to pick a favorite among all the drawings Luna made for me, it'd be the one that applies here. I even made it my laptop's desktop image
======

XXXI. 'I am the monster in your head'

Puppy bedtime came sooner than Aran appreciated, as it had on every day of his treatment so far. The wolf did not know whether it was because of the time, and because he found it difficult to fall asleep, or that it was simply one of those times at which his puppy identity was strongly reinforced.
Aran still thought about what Jennifer had told him. For his entire life, he had held on to the wrong image of his mother. Given, she had practically disowned him, and she never protected him against the rage of his father, but he understood the wolfess better now.
Even though his mother was the last thing on his mind before he fell asleep, his mind soon showed him images he would have rather fled from. In his dream, Aran relived a memory of one of the many times when he bullied Gina.
However, the wolf felt like this time was different, as if he was offered an opportunity to change his mind. His hand was raised, ready to claw at Gina and ruin her beautiful headfur. With all the will he could muster, Aran forced himself to lower his arm.
At that point, the scenery changed from their middle school to the garage of Aran’s parental home – the place where his father was often found tinkering with an old car. The wolf briefly wondered why Gina was now on the floor of the garage, as she had never been near his home.
He was interrupted by a male voice to his left. It sounded like his father, but also like Kaiser, which the wolf found confusing. The voice seemed to be mumbling indiscernible words, increasing its volume until it was close to shouting. Finally, it started to form understandable words.
“Do it! She deserves it!”
“Do what? I’m not going to hurt her.”
“Why not? She’s an impurity, Aran. Don’t let her change the wolf you really are. You’re bad, and you’re good at it.”
“What do you want from me?”
Aran now noticed the gas can at his feet.
“Eradicate her, kid. The only way to purify yourself is with fire.”
“You’re insane!” Aran spat back. “I know I’m bad, but I don’t want to be like that anymore. I want to change.”
“If you won’t throw your dirt out, you’ll become an impurity yourself,” the voice said, suddenly angry. “Just like I’ve always said you are.”
No longer did the voice sound like Kaiser, it was just Aran’s father talking at this point. The black wolf tried to turn around, so he could finally give the grey wolf the beating he deserved. When Aran did so, he became scared.
He did not see his father, but rather a shadowy silhouette, like the one he had drawn for Jennifer earlier. However, this appearance was different, as the figure was rapidly growing larger. On second thought, the monster was not growing, but Aran was shrinking… to the size of an actual puppy!
By now, the monstrosity’s form had changed again, and resembled the second picture Aran had drawn. The voice was different again, a lot more disrupted than before. It picked up the gas can and screwed the lid off.
“This is how we deal with people like you,” the figure said, pouring gasoline over Aran. “You’re a disgrace!”
As the fuel hit his Aran’s fur, he noticed that he did not feel like it actually touched him, save for a moist sensation near his crotch.
The monster lit a match and ignited the fuel, setting Aran on fire with a maniacal laugh. The figure moved closer to the wolf and laughed even louder. The black wolf felt an excruciating pain spread all over his body, even though he could not see any flames.
All his eyes could register was one last shift: the monster’s image now became less blurry and its face changed into that of Aran’s father. At last, the black wolf could no longer take the pain and woke up.
Unfortunately for Aran, waking up did not put an end to the pain. He soon realized that the burning and the pain were actually his withdrawal symptoms popping up again. Additionally, it became clear to him why he had only felt the gasoline at his crotch.
His diaper was probably soaked, but that was not the greatest concern Aran had. He tried to call out to Jennifer, but his muzzle was tensed up. Furthermore, he was still sucking on the pacifier, which muffled his voice and prevented barking as well.
It would not have been a problem if only his muzzle was tensed, as he would have managed to pull the pacifier out, even while wearing a mittened sleeper. Aran had no such luck, though. Similarly to previous attacks, the majority of his body refused to move.
The last resort Aran had was whimpering like little puppy, as much as he despised doing so. On the other paw, he did not care. He was in great pain, and he would do anything to get rid of it.
After a minute or two, Jennifer calmly entered the nursery. When she saw Aran’s body language and noticed the expression in his eyes, she hastened to the crib and unlatched the side. The collie slid down the bars and sat down on the edge of the mattress.
“Aran, are you alright?” she asked, pulling the pacifier from his mouth.
“Burning… so much pain,” was all Aran could reply.
Jennifer understood what she had to do and ran off, only to return with a puppy bottle in hand. Meanwhile, the wolf was no longer too tensed up to move, which allowed the two of them to position Aran in such a way that he would not choke on the antidote.
The wolf quickly drained the bottle, grateful that the muscles in his tongue and mouth were working well enough to drink. As they waited for the antidote to kick in, Jennifer did her best to calm down her charge with kind words.
“Are you alright?” she asked when Aran finally seemed to relax.
The wolf slowly shook his head.
“It was horrible. And I could, you know…” he replied, eying at his crotch.
“Let me guess, you had a little accident?”
“Yush, but not a ‘little’ accident, I’m afraid. Could you change me here, please?”
Jennifer nodded and gathered some supplies, along with a changing mat. It took a little effort and some straining to get the mat under Aran’s bottom, but it beat having to move to the changing table. Whether he would walk or Jennifer would carry him, both options would be rather painful.
“Do you want to talk about it?” the collie asked as she unzipped Aran’s sleeper.
The wolf tried to explain what he had seen, and that he had refused to hurt Gina. Jennifer said nothing, she just let her charge speak while she changed his diaper.
“I can still hear his laughter, it has been there all along. Even if I would fight him, he’s too big; the man’s too strong.” Aran said with visible worry.
“Don’t be afraid,” the collie reassured, zipping the sleeper back up. “When you’re done here, you won’t feel the need to fight him anymore. You’ll even be stronger, but not physically so.”
“B-but… you don’t understand it, Jennifer. It’s not the first time my father haunted me in my dreams. Usually, after Mike and I had done something illegal, I’d have a nightmare afterwards, in which he would judge me and tell me how bad I had been. The only ways I’ve found to be effective in fighting his voice were drinking, and using ursaurine. I try to play it off, but it always returns.”
“Aran, do you realize that it’s not your father who’s judging you?”
The wolf looked at his caregiver with a confused expression.
“It’s a form of self-condemnation. You’re telling yourself that you’re a bad wolf, and because your father has said that many times to you, your mind is playing tricks on you. The most hazardous part of this construction is that you’ve started to believe those lies.”
“But what about all I’ve done? I’m a hypocrite, and I’m even worse than-”
“Don’t say that!” Jennifer cut him off. “You were going to say you’re worse than your father, but listen carefully to me, Aran. That is not true. You’re a good puppy, and I love you, despite all you’ve done wrong.”
Aran shook his head.
“No, I’m not ‘good’. I do want to change, though. Even though I don’t like this whole puppy treatment, I’ll tolerate the childish stuff if this is what it takes to get rid of my nightmares.”
“And of the feelings of guilt that are causing them,” Jennifer added. “I’ll do what I can to help you change your ways. Not just because it’s my job, but because you’re special to me.”
She nudged her charge to lay back down. Aran complied and pulled his stuffed husky close. He wanted to ask Jennifer why he is special, but the collie had already put the pacifier back in his muzzle.
With a smile, she gave him a lick on his forehead. As she slid the side of the crib up, Aran noticed that it was not morning yet, and that he was still sleepy. He understood that his caregiver wanted him to go back to sleep, saving his questions for another day.
At the very moment Jennifer left the nursery, silently closing the door behind her, Aran traded the real world for the World of the Sleeping, in the hopes that he would not enter the Wasteland of Nightmares again.

XXXII. 'For the grace of all that is good and sacred'

The next evening, Aran was sleeping peacefully. His day had been filled with playing games with Gina, telling each other jokes, and even playing in the sandpit. Of course, the wolf told himself that he was too big for the latter, but he thought of it as a way to make up for all he did to the vixen. Nothing of it would ever be close to ‘enough’, but he at least wanted to show that he tried.
After sandpits come baths, and Jennifer even bathed the two puppies together. They were both put in waterproof diapers and Gina wore a bikini top, but that did not stop the collie from thoroughly cleaning her charges.
All in all, his day had been more exhausting than the wolf realized. When he reluctantly laid down in his crib, the weariness of all the events hit him, and any argument against sleeping disappeared. Aran was tired, and the thought of sleep was a welcome invitation. However, an hour or two later, his slumber was disturbed, in a rather familiar way.
‘Great, this again,’ The wolf thought when he groggily pulled himself from the World of the Sleeping. Just as he had begun to forget this place, he had somehow ended up there once again. Squinting his eyes, Aran tried to focus. Even though he was not fully awake yet, he knew what was coming.
Like the previous time, the wolf was seated on a chair that had been bolted to the floor. Additionally, he again wore the light blue harness and his nighttime diaper. Looking up at the figure right across the table, he recognized Kaiser’s muzzle. The expression on his face was a little different from the last time, though.
“Wakie wakie, Aran,” the Doberman said with a grin.
“You again? What do you want this time?” the wolf replied, rolling his eyes.
“I get the impression that you don’t like me,” Kaiser mocked.
“Isn’t it obvious? Every time we’ve met, I wasn’t really on the advantageous side of the conversation.”
The Doberman grinned again. “It’s different tonight, little one. The first time, we spoke about what you didn’t know. After that, we discussed what you were learning. Now, I’d like to talk about your future with us.”
“My future? That sounds like you’re going to keep me here for years!”
Kaiser made a rebutting gesture. “On the contrary. The Chainbreaker program is designed to prepare the charges for their return to society. No, I’m here to put my cards on the table.”
“Concerning what? Your face still says that you’ve got a full house. How can I win if I don’t even have a two of Spades?”
“Nice joke, Aran, but you’re missing the point here. I meant that I’ve got a confession to make. This ‘contract’ I spoke of earlier, the one I claimed to be legally binding, do you remember it?”
“You mean where you used a recording as ‘proof’ that I agreed with my presence here? Of course I do!”
“Calm down,” the Doberman replied reassuring, putting a piece of paper on the table. “I’ve got the actual contract right here.”
The wolf was at loss of words when he read the first few sentences. It was about him stating that he needed psychological help and that Chainbreakers Incorporated was going to supply him with said help.
“What’s the matter, Aran? You didn’t really think that a contract can be legally binding if I only record two sentences, did you? Any lawyer would discard that as a nonsensical trick.”
“Then what am I still doing here?”
“It’s simple, actually. If I asked you whether you wanted to be here, and whether you thought you needed the help we can give you, I know what your answer would’ve been. You would’ve declined my offer, right?”
Aran nodded in anticipation of where his collocutor was going with his reasoning.
“Therefore, we pretended that you already signed a contract, so you would think that you had no choice but to resign to our program. In other words, we told you…”
“What I needed to hear, yush, I get it,” the wolf interrupted. “But what is this contract for?”
“Over the past few days, you’ve shown that you’re compatible with our program, and that we can be of great help to you. However, to continue with what we’re doing, you’ll have to sign this contract so we’re not doing anything illegal. After all, I’ve technically abducted you.”
The wolf frowned. “So this was all playing pretend?”
“Some of it was, including me being a jerk to you. It was all part of the initiation.”
“This isn’t the actual program yet?”
“Oh, the puppy treatment is, but some things will change after you sign this document.”
Aran’s ears drooped. “Darn, I really could’ve gone without the puppy stuff.”
“No, you couldn’t,” Kaiser laughed. “It’s what brought you to this point, so we’re not going to stop any of it.”
“Are you laughing at me?” the wolf replied, somewhat agitated.
“On the contrary, I was laughing with you. Anyway, this conversation marks the pivot. Either you refuse to sign, and I’ll drop you off at your apartment tonight, or you sign the contract.”
“What happens if I sign?” the wolf queried, with ears perked up.
“As stated in the last paragraph, by signing this contract, you admit that you need help and you agree upon the Chainbreakers taking care of you. We’ll make sure you recover from your inner damage, but you cannot leave as soon as you sign, unless you have a firm reason to.”
Aran sighed and looked at the paper. At the bottom, it showed four spots for a signature. The contract had been signed by Jennifer, Kaiser, and a certain ‘Joseph Boden’, a name he had not heard before. The last place was labeled ‘Aran Conall, charge’.
“Think it through, Aran. I wouldn’t want you to regret your decision, whatever it may be. We won’t judge you if you decide not to sign, you wouldn’t be the first one in that. However, you’ll never be offered an opportunity like this again.”
“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”
“Of course you do. If you don’t sign, you’ll wake up in your own bed tomorrow, no hard feelings.”
The wolf sighed again, his ears and tail drooping. “That’s not what I meant. Now that I know about the Chain, it has become my responsibility to break the power it has over me. I don’t want to become like my father, that’d be rude and inconsiderate in case I ever have a spouse. Or offspring, for that matter. Besides, I owe Gina one for all I’ve done to her. She treated me like I’m her friend or her brother… I want to know how she learned to be like that.”
“In that case, you might need this,” Kaiser stated matter-of-factly, offering a ballpoint.
Aran accepted the pen and jotted his signature at the designated place.
“I hope I’m not going to regret this,” he added, handing the pen back.
“Jennifer and I will do what we can to prevent that.”
“So what happens now? Are you going to stick a needle in me again?” Aran asked, as he saw Kaiser searching through his jacket.
“Nope. I’m looking for this,” the Doberman replied, taking a small key from his inside pocket.
“What’s that for?”
Kaiser got up and unlocked something behind Aran’s back. He tried to turn around, so he could see what was going on. When he did so, the harness no longer restrained his body, and just fell off. The Doberman offered a hand and helped Aran to get on his paws.
The wolf was already confused, but he was puzzled when Kaiser opened the door of the interrogation room. He was led outside, into… the hall on the first floor of Jennifer’s house?
“Wait, I never left this place since I got here?”
“Nope,” the Doberman replied, lifting Aran from the floor and cradling him like a puppy.
He carried the charge to his nursery and put him back in his sleeper, then laid him down in the crib.
“I… I don’t get it,” was all the wolf could utter.
“That’s okay. You’re not used to me being nice to you, right? Don’t worry, I’ve been in this program myself, and I’ve had a similar experience,” Kaiser reassured, tucking his charge in.
“Are you a caregiver as well?”
He shook his head. “I was a charge when I was fifteen, and it changed my life for good. Later on, I went to college to study biochemistry, and I sought contact with my ex-caregiver. The Chainbreakers were more than willing to accept my services for their cause.”
“B-but… what’re you going to do now? I mean, now you don’t have to be a jerk anymore. Or do you still?”
“Only if you thoroughly misbehave, like in Wesley’s case. With him, it was mostly me being physically stern to him, so he wouldn’t hate Jennifer over it, but me instead,” Kaiser answered with a wink. “I won’t be your caregiver, but from now on, I’m more like your mentor. If you need anything off your chest concerning Jennifer or your treatment, I’m your counselor. I’d have a hard time imagining Jennifer purposely hurting you in any way, but we want this experience to be safe for you.”
“So I don’t have to go to the interrogation room anymore?”
“That’s only a part of the initiation. It’s over now, Aran. Enjoy your stay here, and please be nice to Jennifer.”
“I’ll try,” Aran mumbled.
“Good puppy. I’d like to stay, but I have another task tonight. Besides, it’s way past puppy bedtime. See you again soon, Aran.”
The Doberman turned the lights off and quietly left the nursery.

XXXIII. Give me a sign

Monday. Two weeks had passed since Gina’s return from the sleepover. During these days, the vixen had been a role model to Aran, helping Jennifer to teach him how to behave like a good puppy. The wolf had shown some early progress, along with overcoming his withdrawal issues.
The morning had been average and was best described as ‘quiet’, maybe even ‘too quiet’. There were no irregularities, not even during lunchtime. However, Aran did try to show off by finishing his food before his ‘sibling’. Apart from that, there was nothing out of the ordinary.
That is, until Jennifer triumphantly dropped an envelope on the table when both of her charges were done eating. The envelope had a pink cadre and was printed with elegant black letters, that read nothing but Gina’s name on it. In the top right corner, the paper showed a logo of three connected chain links, of which the middle one had been broken.
“This came in the mail for you today, princess,” Jennifer commented.
The collie slid the envelope towards Gina and nudged her to open it. There was no seal on the paper, so the envelope could be opened effortlessly.
“Do you want me to read it out loud?” the vixen asked.
“You don’t have to, but if you want to, I’m not going to hold you back,” the collie reassured.
“No, that’s okay. I think Aran would like to hear this.”
Jennifer nodded.

Dear Gina,

It has been five months since you were enrolled in the Chainbreaker program. During your stay with your caregiver, you showed impressive results and an inspiring recovery. I was touched by the report Miss Hayzenthlay wrote about the time you spent with her as well.

I’m glad to announce that as of today, we declare that your link in the Chain has been broken. You’ve managed to overcome your difficulties and reach your learning goals, and became a healthy person in the process. In other words: you have graduated!

Since your birthday is approaching, I figured that you’d want to return to your parents. They will help you to become potty-trained again. You will be supplied with a small stock of diapers and pull-ups to help you get started.

We hope that the rest of your life will be as fruitful as this special period, and that you’ll always look back on the days you spent in our program with pride and satisfaction. I’ve attached your graduation certificate with this letter.

Enjoy your new life!

Sincerely,

Joseph Boden, Chainbreaker Handler

“Wow… this is amazing! I didn’t expect that I’d be back home before my birthday!” the vixen exclaimed with joy.
Jennifer faintly smiled.
“Did you know about this?” Gina then asked.
“I did know that our time together was nearing its end. However, caregivers don’t know the outcome of a handler’s evaluation any earlier than the charges do. I knew this was coming, but they never tell us exactly when. It wasn’t as much of a surprise to me as it was to you, though.”
“Are you excited about going back to your parents?” Aran queried.
The vixen pondered for a few seconds, then nodded. “This isn’t meant to be permanent, regardless of how much I enjoy being here,” she replied, then turned to their caregiver. “I really appreciate all your kindness, Jenny. You’ve been so gentle and loving to me, I don’t know how to express my gratitude.”
“That’s okay, dear. As much as I care for you, at the end of the day, it’s also my job. I get most of my satisfaction from seeing my charges change into better people. However, if you want to do something, I can only think of one thing.”
“What’s that?” Gina asked.
“Sign your certificate, dear. That’s the final step of the program: accepting and acknowledging that you’re done with your change,” Jennifer replied, handing a sharpie to the vixen.
Gina scribbled her signature on the certificate under ‘Charge: G. Althares’. Three other people had signed it already: Joseph, Primrose and Kaiser. When she was done, the vixen returned the sharpie to her caregiver. After all, there was one last spot to be signed.
“I see you have no doubts about this, princess. That’s a good sign,” the collie replied, then put down her signature as well. “Like Joseph wrote: enjoy your new life.”
The vixen smiled.
“I will. By the way, does that mean that Aran will be alone now, or will Joseph appoint another charge to you?”
“No, I’m going to spend time with just my wolfie for a while.”
She winked to Aran.
“That’s okay, Gina, I’ll be alright without you. Over the past weeks, I’ve began to understand that Jennifer knows what she’s doing.”
“Speaking of which,” the vixen said, turning to her now former caregiver, “can I ask you something personal?”
“You can, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer.”
“Why are you a Chainbreaker? Like, how did you become one? It’s not like people can sign up for this kind of job, right?”
“You’ve both asked me before, and I think that’s private.”
“Really? I’m curious about this as well,” Aran supported the vixen. “I don’t believe you’re doing this just because you want to help other people. You said that you love me like my mother wanted to love me, that’s not something you do because you’re paid for it, I suppose.”
The collie sighed. “Alright, since you’re insisting. I never told Wesley about this, though, so this is the first time I’m explaining this to any of my charges.”
“That’s okay, we’re not going to hurt you,” Gina said with a smile.
“Fine then. In a certain way, being a Chainbreaker is therapeutic for me as well. You see, I used to think of myself as an irresponsible parent.”
“You’re a mother? I mean, an actual mother?” Aran blurted out.
“Not anymore, little one. I met a Western Shepherd named Jack when I was seventeen, and he became my husband a little over two years later. Then, at age twenty-one, I gave birth to a son. Jack, however, had troubles adjusting and couldn’t handle this change in his life. He most probably suffered from post-natal stress disorder, something that’s more common in females, but can strike males as well.”
“What do you mean by saying he couldn’t deal with the changes?” the vixen queried.
“He found it difficult to change his way of living to facilitate a healthy way of raising a puppy. It might also have been a factor that he was a shepherd, while I gave birth to a collie. I guess he wanted a puppy that looked like him, but there is no natural way to influence which of the two parents a child will resemble.”
“I can imagine that your relationship became tense because of his difficulties,” the wolf stated.
Jennifer nodded. “He became abusive, mostly verbal, but sometimes physical. As my son became older, Jack eventually seemed to settle down and accept that his life had changed and there was nothing he could do to revert said change.”
“Did he even want to have puppies?”
“I don’t know for sure, Gina. He told me he did, but sometimes, I still doubt about whether he said that because it was true, or because he wanted to please me. Personally, I loved the idea of having a puppy. For a few years, it looked like we were becoming happy again. That is, until Jack lost his job and he started to lose control of himself once more.”
“And he started to abuse you again?”
“Yush, but not just me. He eventually began to verbally mistreat our son as well, and that was too much for the young collie. Shortly after he turned eight, my puppy ran away from home.”
Jennifer paused for a moment, trying to find words without bursting into tears.
“What’s the matter? Didn’t your son come back?”
The collie slowly shook her head.
“A fisherman found his body under a bridge, a couple of days later. My son had frozen to death in the cold of the winter night. I can still remember when I held his lifeless body.”
Jennifer sniffled.
“And Jack, the poor Shepherd… he finally understood how he had behaved. However, he blamed it all on himself and he hanged himself that same evening. In not even a week’s time, I had lost my puppy and my husband.”
Gina petted Jennifer’s back to comfort the collie. She took a short pause, then continued her story.
“I ended up with a special victims unit for people that had experienced traumatic and radical events. After two years of intensive caring, support and psychological therapy, of which I spent the first three months in a recuperation commune, the therapists told me that I showed promising results. However, I wanted to prove to myself that I had the ability to be a good mother. The problem was that I feared I’d be unable to find a trustworthy male in time, especially because of the hurtful memories I had concerning Jack.”
She sniffled again, then took a deep breath.
“My therapist told me about the Chainbreakers and asked if I was interested in becoming a caregiver for “larger” cubs and pups. After some consideration, I eventually acquiesced, and my therapist contacted the corporation. They sent Joseph to question me, mostly concerning my motivation and who I was. My therapist helped me to explain that this would be a form of therapy for me as well, and eventually Joseph agreed to sign me up. I had to follow an intensive training course to learn all their rules and principles, though. It was tough, but I stood fast and worked diligently. Of course, I failed every now and then, but there was always someone to pick me up and encourage me again.”
“And that’s how you ended up here?”
“Indeed, wolfie. I’ve taken care of a few charges that slept over at my place, all the while under Kaiser’s supervision. When he decided I was doing an adequate job, he talked to our handler and arranged a personal charge for me, raising my status to full-time primary caregiver.”
“And then you got Wesley, right?” Gina asked.
“That’s right, and I wasn’t too happy about that during the first few days. Even Kaiser thought the Retriever might be too much for me, but I insisted that Wesley stayed with me, because I believed that I could help the puppy breach his bad behavior. In the end, it all turned out well.”
“But what about me?” Aran wondered aloud.

XXXIV. And last

“But what about me?” Aran wondered aloud. “You said that a couple of your co-workers had their doubts when you accepted me as a charge.”
“I really wanted to be your caregiver, because you’re essentially a runaway.”
“Like your son?” the wolf continued.
Jennifer nodded.
“Did you have a special motivation for me as well?” Gina asked.
“Somehow I did, although I didn’t realize so at first. Jordan saved you from taking your own life, effectively giving you a second chance. My son, however, had no such luck. With the two of you, I’ve proven to myself that I can be good mother figure, even though Aran still has quite a way to go,” Jennifer replied, then turned to Aran. “Little one, my own puppy is dead, but it’s not too late for you yet. Please give your mother a chance to have her son back.”
The wolf took a deep breath. “Now that I know all this, I’m sure, Jennifer. I do need to become a better person, and I think it’s best for both of us if I stay here, with you. I can’t promise that I won’t resist any part of my treatment anymore, but I’ll try my best to be good.”
“Thank you, Aran, that’s very kind. Besides, acceptance of your treatment will stimulate good results. We cannot change you, only you can change yourself. Look at Gina, she could only become the beautiful vixen she is today because she chose to accept our treatment.”
“And in hindsight, I don’t regret a single second of it,” Gina seconded.
Jennifer smiled. “I talked to Kaiser on the phone, before we had lunch. He’ll come to pick you up in ten minutes. I suggest that you go to your nursery and change into the clothes you were wearing when Jordan brought you here. I’ve put them on the chair next to your crib.”
“Can I… keep my diaper on, please?” the vixen asked shyly.
The collie nodded. “You more or less need them by now. Besides, like Joseph wrote, we’ll supply you with some more so you won’t have to worry about waking up in a wet bed. Speaking of sleeping, Farani is yours to keep.”
“Really?”
“Of course, dear. I’m not going to deprive a kit of her plushie, not even when said kit has grown up. Farani will be a physical reminder of your treatment. The same goes for your tiara, by the way.”
Gina got up and tightly hugged her caregiver.
“I love you, Jenny. Thanks for everything you’ve done for me.”
“You’re most welcome, princess. Now go change, you’re excused from the table.”

Gina went to do like her caregiver suggested. A few minutes later, she returned, wearing an outfit that was far more appropriate for her physical age. Meanwhile, Jennifer had cleaned the table and had put Aran in the playroom. The vixen went inside for one last time, leaving the door ajar.
“So, that’s as far as the two of us go, I guess?” she said.
The wolf looked up from his sketchbook and stopped doodling.
“At least for a while. I think it won’t hurt if we talk some more after my graduation. That might take a couple of months though, judging by the amount of time you needed. I won’t be surprised if I need to be here longer.”
“You’ll be fine. Over the past two weeks, you’ve shown me the ‘real’ Aran, and I’m far from disappointed. You’ve got quite a journey ahead of you, though.”
“I know, but I’ve got Jennifer to show me the way.”
Gina grinned.
“Like I said, you’ll be okay. Thanks for showing that you can be nice to me, that really helped me.”
“You’re welcome. I guess I should thank you as well, for not holding a grudge against me.”
She looked down.
“Forgiving you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but in the end, it was satisfactory.”
“Well, I guess this is goodbye then?”
“Kaiser will be here any minute now. You know, I’m really eager to see my mom and dad again. In proportion as I made progress in the program, Jennifer’s affection increased my desire to return to my parents. Do you think that’s childish?”
Aran frowned. “Isn’t the question of being childish somewhat irrelevant when you’re asking someone that is dressed up like a big puppy?”
The vixen then realized the irony of her question, and they both laughed. She then hugged the wolf and went back to the living room, where Jennifer was waiting for her. Aran was left alone with his sketchbook and his thoughts. Gina’s words made him think of his mother. Would she be eager to meet her son as well after his change was completed?
His train of thought was disturbed by the sudden ringing of the doorbell, followed by a short conversation between Kaiser and Jennifer. Lastly, the caregiver asked Gina to smile for the camera as she snapped a picture of the vixen, and then the Doberman took the graduate with him.
With the sound of the front door being closed, Aran realized that he was now Jennifer’s only charge, and would be as such for at least the next month. A part of him was really looking forward to that, but he had his doubts as well.
To which extent would he be like Gina, at the end of his treatment? She did behave at least a little childish in some situations, but on the other hand, Gina enjoyed being treated like Jennifer’s puppy. Part of it was probably a form of play, while other expressions were genuine.
The wolf shook his head. Time would tell what changes he would have to go through. Just before he wanted to continue doodling, Jennifer slipped into the playroom and sat down next to him.
“There, she’s gone. It’s just the two of us now, pup,” she said, petting his back.
“It’s okay, I’ll live,” he joked.
“You know what I like most about you, Aran?”
“Dunno. Tell me?”
“Your sense of humor tends to throw me off, in a good way. Like when you said your plushie wasn’t complaining about you not sharing some of the fun you had, I really didn’t see that coming. You never fail to surprise me in the spare occasions when you’re in your puppy mindset.”
“My puppy mindset?” Aran asked, cocking his head.
“Yush, that’s when you’ve agreed with yourself to let go and be the little wolf I pretend you are. When you let the pup inside you off its leash, that’s when you can be yourself, and when you can be truly happy, and creative.”
“You think so?” he asked, still a bit confused.
“I know so. I even have a drawing on my fridge to prove my point. You drew that when you were not thinking of your past life, or anything dark, for that matter.”
“Maybe you’re right,” he said with a faint smile.
“Good puppy,” Jennifer praised.
“What? I’m good for saying that you’re right?”
“No, it’s because you were smiling. I like to see you happy, Aran. That’s what this is all about. Regressive therapy helps you to learn and understand the simple joys of life again. Starting with that fundament, we’ll build you up and help you shape a new ‘you’. First Wesley, now Gina… neither of them were smiling when they first entered this house. You were far from happy as well, but I intend to change that.”
“So do I. As much as I might dislike most of this whole puppy thing, I’m willing to go wherever you’ll take me. You’ve shown that you don’t intend to hurt me, so you’ve earned my trust by now.”
“Thank you, Aran. Coming from you, that’s a big compliment.”
“You’re… welcome, I guess,” the wolf mumbled, looking down. Apparently, he was struck by the confrontation with his trust issues.
“Little one, why are you so sad all of a sudden? I’m here to help you overcome your difficulties, right?”
Aran nodded.
“Good, then show me a happy little wolf again. Or do I need to tickle you again?”
“Try me,” he defied, crossing his arms with a grin on his muzzle.
The collie did not leave such a challenge unanswered. She tackled the wolf and started tickling him all over his belly. Soon, Aran was nothing more but a hysterically laughing ball of lupine fur. When Jennifer was satisfied, she let him catch his breath and waited for her charge to calm down again.
Still lying on his back, holding his arms up like a feral wolf, he smiled at his caregiver, wagging his tail.
“I might have been a terrible person, but I’m sure that you can help me return to what I should be,” he said.
“Whatever it takes, little one. Whatever it takes.”
Aran smiled and thought back to how he lived his life in the previous month. When Mike asked him what he wanted for his twentieth birthday, this was not what he had in mind. No, the wolf got something more radical and valuable than anything else: a new chance at life.

================
This is the last chapter of the main story. There is a 6,000 word epilogue which will deal with some questions that have been left unanswered so far. I will not post the epilogue here, as it is an exclusive part of the e-book. If you wish to purchase your very own copy, please send me a personal message. I will pass 10% of the income of this novel over to Luna Kiva, who has drawn all the illustrations and to whom I own a big deal of drawings for my other stories.

If you've enjoyed this story, which I at this point assume, else you wouldn't still be reading this, I advise you to check "Kaeden's Commitment" by Draugr. This story started out as a fanfic of "Aran's Abrogation", but eventually became a story of similar length. His story surpasses mine in various aspects and I greatly enjoyed (proof)reading it. Once again thanks to Draugr for respecting my universe while writing Kaeden's story.

If you like my style in general, please consider reading the MonoChronicles, my first and ongoing story series. You can find them here on ADISC as well:

MonoChronicles I: True Colors
MonoChronicles II: Milo's Midwinter (a little bit of a Christmas special)
MonoChronicles III: Nina's Notification

And there will probably be a MonoChronicles IV soon...