My ABDL experience part 1-introduction -- (Author) butterbabyj

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Author: butterbabyj
Timestamp: May 24, 2022 at 4:08 AM
Content: Hello everyone! I'm RJ, it's not my real name but it's what I'll go by on here. I think I'm about to tell my story, it might be a lot and I'll try and avoid talking about certain details that would go against the sites policy.

When I was around 5, I began to have issues with going #2. And being that age, I of course normalized the fact that I'd go a day without using the restroom. So, when my babysitter came up to me and asked me "when was the last time you went" I shrugged. She held my hand and took me to the bathroom where she had me lay down. She was very nice and let me know I was safe and sound. And the warm feeling I got from that felt surreal and unforgettable. She lifted my legs up and used a suppository and then proceeded to diaper me. I protested and claimed to be the big boy I am, and she reassured me- "I know you are. And you'll know that you have to go when you have too. this is just to be safe, there's nothing wrong with being safer." She then had me go outside to play with my cousins in just my shirt and diaper. They laughed at me and tried to put me down and make fun of me, but I didn't care. I was told it was okay and had faith in the person who told me that. that's really all I remember from that instance. I know I didn't use the diaper because I was well potty trained. And after that day I decided to be vulnerable and act smaller. one day when my father came to pick me up, I had pretended to be asleep, so he'd take care of me and carry me to the car. As soon as we got to his house, I was taken out of my car seat and hoped out of the car excitingly and ran into his home and up the stairs. I knew where he kept diapers for me just in case I'd have any issues. So I grabbed one and ran to hide underneath my bed, stripped, and put it on and waited for him. Of course my giggling from him trying to find me gave him the idea of exactly where I was hiding. He playfully dragged me out and commented on why I was wearing the diaper. But in really he must've not cared too much cause it was a humble happy moment.

After those two experiences, I didn't have anything happen until my pre-teen years. And those 2 experiences never had an impact on me becoming ABDL or awakening my fetish. They just were in a way my first vulnerable safe feelings that kick started everything.

Around 9-10 I had been experimenting with my best friend. A very confusing time where I didn't have feelings for other boys, however I was obsessed with the "tension" that came with the friends with benefits. He once was having a yard sale (he was my next-door neighbor) and I decided to help them move stuff around because I was spending the weekend with them. While going through stuff and moving things around for them I found a fairly large sized diaper and not an adult one, it had tigger and pooh on it. I asked about it and even teased him a little, and he just shrugged it off and said it was from his potty training. I joked about trying it on, I felt like it would fit me due to me being anorexic with little to no meat on me. That night before bed I snuck away to the bathroom and put it on. The feeling gave me goosebumps and it felt so surreal. I went to bed wearing it and had no trouble falling asleep. Throughout the next day I kept it on. We went to the city for a church event (him and his parents were extremely religious) and I still had the thing on. When it came to me having to use the restroom... I questioned my options. I came to a conclusion quickly as I hopped into a long line for a porta potty. As soon as I got into it I pulled the diaper down slightly so it wasn't against my skin. Then I used it(only #1). I was so fascinated by the event that just occurred, that I had to pause for a moment. I desperately wanted to pull it back on and walk out, but I decided to toss it into the toilet.

After that I couldn't stop thinking about them, I craved them 24/7. I started walking to the drugstores around my town and buying goodnights and other types of diapers like depends. I became obsessed. Unfortunately, since I was hitting puberty, I immediately sexualized them. I say unfortunately due to it kind of ruining the little/ab aspects of the fetish. I love everything AB and DL but getting horny all the time from them is tedious and just annoying when I simply just want to enjoy them more. I grew to learn that I loved everything about them. I loved wearing them to sleep, school, and whenever I'd sit around for a long period of time. I never told anyone until a specific night when my BFF and I were about to have a night of gaming and fooling around together. I showed him my collection and explained how I was into them. He did not care, he was there that night for one reason and one reason only and he wasn't going to have my quirky fetish ruin it. We laid in my bed and he was kissing my neck and just getting me riled up. My father then barged in and screamed "HEY!!!". He made my heart sink to my stomach. But that's all he said, he walked away and locked himself into the bathroom. We sat up and he rushed to the door explaining that he couldn't stay anymore, and I kind of asked if it was okay if I went over with him and he said he didn't want that. He left. So I sat myself down in the living room and awaited my father to return. He did eventually come back and sit in his chair. I attempted to nudge him, and make small talk, and do my best to get him to talk to me... He wouldn't even look at me, let alone speak to me. I just wanted a solution, I just really needed someone to help me, explain things to me. I cried myself to sleep that night. He then proceeded to barley look or even talk to me for nearly 2 entire months. I was hard. I was really lonely. After nearly 3 months I eventually was able to finally talk to my friend about it, or so I thought. He explained that we shouldn't talk about this or do anything like that again and just stay away from each other. And it hurt me, and once again I felt abandoned. He admitted that that's really all he wanted from me and just used me, So the friendship ended pretty much right there.

During this time, I became carless with my fetish activities. I left my diapers out one day and forgot to delete "corn" at my mothers house. she was really concerned and told me this wasn't normal or okay and that I needed help. So I was forced into therapy that I didn't understand. I was there for a problem that wasn't really a problem. And the therapist was trying to force me to talk about it and it made me so uncomfortable to the point where I stopped talking to people nearly at all. I didn't trust anyone. My mother became extremely mentally abusive after this. She would go through my room, or she would find something like a Paci in my bookbag and scream at me. I learned that my mother couldn't control her emotions, and she just wanted to put me down. She really thought she was helping me, but of course she wasn't. I drove me to serious depression and anxiety at a very young age. It made me hate myself and blame myself for being the way I am.

This is it for part 1/intro